Fun is not a flighty unimportant part of life. It is an essential part of life. Children are supposed to have fun. Life is supposed to be fun. As it is, children are sometimes chastised for having fun as if the purpose of your raising your child is to squelch them.

If I were to give advice to parents, I would say:

Have fun with your children. You, the parent, have a good time. This is an exquisite time with your child. It will not come again.

This is a double-whammy, because as you have fun, you ensure that your children do.

When you and your child have fun together, you are raising your child well. You don’t need to think so sternly about raising your children. When your children have fun and enjoy with you, you are raising your children well. They will listen to you and respect you and, in turn, be loving and gracious to you and to everyone.

You are introducing your children to the world. Make the world a friendly place for your children, and they will know friendliness.

You are not spoiling your child by allowing him happiness.

As a parent, you need to get away from the idea that your child has to perform as the best behaved child at home or away. You are not spoiling your child by accepting and loving him. This is not letting your child go wild. Give your child the freedom to be happy.

When your child reaches out from his stroller to touch everything in the supermarket, you don’t have to say a big NO to him. Name the items he reaches out to touch. As you move on, tell him the names of what he sees. He can point, and you can name. Later you can reciprocate. You can point, and he can name.

When it comes to the hot stove which your child must not touch, instead of saying No, say, Hot. When it comes to crossing the street, hold your child’s hand and say: "This is how we cross the street."

This is interaction. This is calm. This is love. Participate in your child’s world. As you treat your child, so will the child treat you. This is not catering to or codding your child. To cater to your child is an offense. Do you see this? Catering to your child may be for your ease and may be foisting away your responsibility.

Look, get away from the idea that you have to be a perfect parent. Get away from the idea that you have to have a perfect child.

Engage your child as you go along in life together. Engage. You have experience in life. Your child does not. Your aim is not to subdue your child. Your aim is educate your child into happiness and how to get along in the world. Let your child learn and have fun. Fun is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

And you will be happy to be in the company of your child as he is in yours. Teaching is not discipline. It is sharing. You and your child can also share peace and quiet. Your child is always asking you to kindly introduce him to the world and its ways.

Think more about love and less about rules and less about perfection. You can raise a child in the way he should go without being bossy or overbearing. The opposite of overbearing is not lenient - yet why would you argue with a young child? Raising your child is not meant to be a battle. It is not a military action. It is meant to be love in the highest sense. Raising your child is not intended to show off your parenting skills in your neighborhood. "This way, puppy," is what you say when you want your very young child to come with you.

It is for you to encourage your child’s imagination.

Make it a pleasure to be in the company of your child. Make it a pleasure for your child to be in your company.

Heavenletter #5434 Published on: October 10, 2015

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