Category: Brenda Hoffman: Life Tapestry Written by Brenda Hoffman
Even though your recent shifts are pushing you into self-love, achieving self-love may seem arduous.
Such is so because your caretaking skills are so deeply ingrained it is almost impossible at times to realize you are negating yourself for others.
Now that you recognize caretaking, you probably note parts of your life in which you not only caretake but encourage others to invalidate you. “I don’t want to be any trouble.” “I’m probably asking for too much.” “Even though I’m in physical or emotional pain, I don’t want to ask for something that might irritate or be inconvenient for you,” – as the person from whom you are hoping for help continues to watch television or complete some other nonessential activity.
You have never expected much help. And the few times you needed it before this recent shift, you were likely ignored, partially taken care of, or made to feel guilty for asking.
Even though you have addressed your larger caretaking pieces throughout your transition, you are now discovering others are not likely to help you walk through your current needs.
It is as if you place a distress flare in the middle of a busy road, and car after car passes you as the drivers roll down their windows to inform you that even though they care, they have more important issues they need to address.
Instead of telling those automobile drivers how badly you need them, you return to the self-care you are comfortable with. And thoughts to which you are familiar, “They’re needier or weaker than I am, so I’ll figure this out on my own as I always have.”
Or, your friend or lover will make you feel wrong, needy, or selfish – all techniques to return you to their caretaking needs.
You will likely feel wrong, selfish, or even mean the next few days as you declare your needs to those you have taken care of. Your role has always been the strong one, the consummate caretaker others expect to be there for them. They, in turn, are too weak to be there for you – or themselves. “Help me!” is their refrain – doing what they want when they want to do it. Yet, when you hope they might reciprocate because something unexpected or unpleasant has happened in your life, they are too busy, too frightened, too sad, or too uninterested to do so.
So you are shifting from being the consummate caretaker to ignoring or refusing to help them.
Of course, that last statement appears as if earth beings will never be one as we and many other Universal entities have touted.
Instead, the exact opposite will happen when you negate the needs of others over and over. They will determine how to tap into their personal resources – resources that are as powerful as yours. Or they will find someone else to caretake them.
This is a time of division. Not politically, as many of you have labeled this chaotic time. But instead of those who know they are vibrant, self-contained entities – and those who continue to wait for someone or something to make their life better. And as they wait for those caretakers, they will negate the lessons of those who could easily teach them how to fish, to use their powers for self-care. So be it. Amen.
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