This week’s guidance from the Ascended Masters, Galactics, Earth Elements, Fae Elders, Angelic legions, and Archangels known as the Collective:

Greetings, dear ones! We are very pleased to have this opportunity to speak with you again today.

As so many find their relationships shifting powerfully now, today we share a portion of a chapter from our book Connections: The Collective Speak on Romance and Friendship.

This excerpt is from Chapter 4, “On Unrequited Love, and Lost Friendships”:

QUESTION: Several times over the past five or six years, I’ve fallen for someone or been in a close friendship with someone. All is going well. 

Then they suddenly get upset, angry, or disillusioned—usually over something that didn’t actually happen—and just walk out of my life. 

It has taken me a while to get over each loss. To accept it, and move on.

Why does unrequited love or abandonment happen? Is there a particular vibration there that we learn something from?

THE COLLECTIVE: This is an excellent question, and one that people ask us in many different ways. Another way of asking the question might be, “How do I let go of those who have let go of me? Those who are no longer for my higher good, but whom I still feel attached to?”

It is a conundrum in certain respects, because human beings will often allow themselves to let go of some people quite easily—those they have no emotional investment in, no expectations of, or no further need for. 

Yet some situations are clung to with none of the easygoing optimism that assures you, for example, as you clean out a closet, “Yes, I can let go of that. It never quite fit right, or suited me. I’ll get something better soon.”

And so then the question becomes, How do you bless and release someone precious to you, understanding that the situation was never right for you—or that the connection, though it was positive at one time, has now run its course, and no longer serves your higher good?

Releasing someone you still love is a particular kind of “letting go” that requires a high level of trust in your higher self, your soul, your life path, and the Universe, that few other things require.

The feelings of loss when someone you love turns away and never returns is akin to experiencing a death.

And most assuredly, it is a death.

It is the death of the particular experience of joyful idealism and expectation that you had placed upon that person. You expected them to fulfill a particular role. Not just for a few months or years, but indefinitely.

And so we ask those who are sad and having a hard time letting go, Have you ever lost someone and considered it a desperately sad loss, then months or years later, realized that your grief was unnecessary? 

Part of the letting go process for you at that time perhaps, but not an accurate description of the loss, in hindsight.

Your higher self and your own higher wisdom showed you over time that not only was this person not right for you then, they would have been completely wrong for your path, preferences, and life purpose in the long run.

Some do not permit themselves the benefit of that realization. They cling to the idealistic belief that a mistake was made—that their loved one will be back, or that they will “realize my worth and be sorry” at some point or another. 

Others fault themselves, saying, “I should have spotted them as completely wrong for me, right from the start. I ignored the signs that it wouldn’t work. I was blinded by my attraction and the energy between us. I was infatuated, is all.”

We would say, that these viewpoints are understandable, but both avoid the central reality of this type of experience, which is to accept that no one comes into your life only to make you happy.

In fact, those who are closest to you often carry the difficult role of giving you the hardest time. 

And those who are only with you for a while, then dramatically walk away, are often playing the role of encouraging you to love yourself more, not less. 

Not in spite of the fact that they have walked away, but because of it.

It is easy for someone to doubt how lovable they are when they are feeling rejected. Yet the feelings brought up in that moment are purely a mirror reflection. 

And the mirror is showing you not only those parts of yourself that you have never fully loved, but the actions of someone in your past, whether in this or some other life you have lived. 

This often occurs when a parent or grandparent, or someone else you trusted when very young, walked away and released all responsibility toward you, when they should have been there for you as fully as possible.

Yet they weren’t. They left your home. Or they stayed, but ignored and neglected your childhood needs. Worse, they may have been actively abusive. 

This left you wondering, as a small child will do, what was wrong with you, that they were unable to love you the way you needed and expected.

This is one of the very great gifts of unrequited love. It opens a door you would never (if you had a choice) open on your own.

The entire energy around the word “abandonment” emits feelings of loss, shame, aloneness, unworthiness, or worthlessness. 

And the sad cry of a child who is neglected, a form of abuse most families engage in on one level or another, yet rarely recognize or admit to.

So that by the time you are an adult and looking for love, or open to letting it come to you, you are ripe for a situation that will reflect what you were taught early on to be the truth. 

You already held, on a very deep and powerful level, the belief toward all potential partners that “You will not be there for me. You will either not fulfill my needs while you are with me, or you will leave me, letting me down painfully.”

And so a sort of trap is set from within. The now-grown abandoned child is left to wander the world looking for the love and approval not experienced when they needed it most. 

Yet until they have healed inwardly, they are only drawn to those who will fulfill their basic belief that “I am not worthy.” And like an easily proven equation, that is exactly who walks in the door—one who treats them as being less than worthy.

The emotional pain that follows can be excruciating. Yet this is how the child within is finally heard.

The grief and feelings of loss you experience after losing or never quite anchoring a love that seemed perfect for you, are not based in that situation. 

They are based in your past, whether from this or other lifetimes, and you are here to heal and transmute the lower beliefs and energies you carry that attracted the situation to you to begin with.

This is why you will find some enlightened souls speaking of being grateful to some past spouse or lover. 

Because that person, in abusing or abandoning them, showed them exactly what they needed to heal, and what within them needed to become strong, and finally find a voice.

Diving into the inner depths of that experience and working through those old feelings can only make you more powerful.

You have come here to Ascend, and that requires that you deal with everything in your Earth life histories that need to be lifted to a higher level. 

Questioning whether you are worthy of being loved, whether you are loved, and whether you are Love itself, is at the very heart of that Ascension journey. 

It is as crucial as learning to forgive or release, allowing and respecting the paths others have chosen, thinking in terms of the higher good of all, and honoring your and the Earth’s higher purpose.

We say this not to discourage, and not to scold those feeling unloved and abandoned for not immediately seeing things in this light. 

We work to encourage, build up, and inspire Lightworkers at every turn.

But simply be aware that when you deal with disappointment in romantic, friendship, or family love, you are dealing at the very heart of your soul’s commitment to heal your karmic past in this lifetime, and to finish the old contracts you formed long ago . . .