I remember, in my ‘former’ life I could accomplish a lot of things in a day. I would run around, filling my day with various activities. Visiting different people, or they visiting me. Family, friends, lovers, husbands, jobs. There was a part of me that thrived on it. Now, if there is one thing I have to do in a day, like go to the dentist, or grocery shopping, or see a friend for lunch, that’s an over-filled schedule.
There is a part of me that wouldn’t mind doing several things during my day, as long as they are fun. But even so, not so much.
The reason I mention it is because it has to do not only with needing lots of down time to integrate our light and other aspects of our selves. It also has to do with gravity, and with mass consciousness.
Mass consciousness is definitely doing its own thing. It’s not doing what we are doing. They haven’t chosen Embodied enlightenment and are not integrating their light body into their carbon based physical body in this one lifetime. They are not in the later stages of the ascension process. Most haven’t a clue what it means to connect to their soul in a real way.
Mass consciousness, consequently, pulls at us energetically. There is a gravity to it. We get tired from it. It’s a feeding energy. An energy of consumerism.
It’s why it’s vital that so many of us spend a lot of time alone.
Years ago, while in my thirties, I could fall asleep on a couch in the middle of a rager. A room full of loud music, people yelling and dancing. And, I actually was quite sensitive back then, and did absorb others’ energies.
These days my excursions include for the most part visits to Starbucks, grocery shopping, and walks in nature. Not that I’m complaining, for now, it works for me. I used to beat myself up for not being as adventurous as I was when I was younger, but now I realize that what I am doing, what so many of us are doing, is unprecedented.
I can’t begin to compare what I have been doing and what I continue to do with anyone in the world of duality.
In fact, today I came to a different Starbucks, because, frankly, there are too many people at the other one that want more and more of my attention lately.
A dear friend of many decades just shared that he was making more and more friends and was thriving on it. He sounds very fulfilled. I am happy for him because he and his husband moved to a new area of the Country and he was consequently feeling isolated initially.
His days consist of classes at the local university, art projects, meet-ups and dinners with friends. He and his hubby travel regularly to some exotic places, and sing in the men’s choir.
Yes, there is a part of me that’s envious. And maybe a bit nostalgic for that lifestyle. I lived pieces and parts of that myself. And, yes, there was a kind of fulfillment to it. And it was great, and appropriate.
But it wasn’t the same kind of fulfillment that I experience now.
It could never take the place of feeling the ever-expanding sense of love and joy that my soul is providing me. It’s nowhere near the sense of fulfillment I feel now, in those moments of pure bliss.
And, I sense that’s why I am still here, and it’s only the beginning of much more bliss and fulfillment.
Why is that consequential? Because now I don’t have to look outside myself to try to fill up. Because when I feel that expansive part of me, I know instinctively that it can’t be taken away from me. That in fact, it is me.
So when I want to participate in 3D reality, I can do it from a place of already feeling fulfilled. I am already complete. And, for me, interestingly, that means I don’t have a big drive to do a lot of the things I did before. The drive, or the desire, is to connect even more intimately with myself. That part of me that already feels fulfilled.
Now I realize how that world out there was kind of grey.
But meanwhile, the world of gravity and mass consciousness continues to try to suck me in. Whether it’s through other people, or through the news media, or just picking up on the prevailing energies out there. They are intense.
It’s why I’ve made sure I have carved out my sacred, sweet spots in this landscape.