The nature preserve behind my apartment

I have written a whole lot about the mind in this transformation process of the merging of  human and divine.  And I have written a whole lot about the state of affairs in the world outside our door, and how one parallels  the other.  But this morning I had one of those aha moments about something I wasn’t so consciously aware of.

I realized that I get especially triggered by the government and many citizens in this and other countries attempting to control women’s reproductive rights.  While I am not concerned for myself, since I am no longer in that 3D reality, and I am well past reproductive age, it still angers me.

And the anger is absolutely justified.  It’s a disgrace and an insult to all women.

But it also reflects how I have been feeling about myself.  There is a part of me, let’s say the mind, that wants to control me.  It doesn’t trust my soul to be able to make the best decisions.  It is afraid of being pushed aside, of losing its own status in my life.  It sees the feminine, and my soul as a threat.

And, understandably.  My human mind has been trying to control my life for a really long time.  Just because I came here this lifetime, along with other courageous and capable souls, to introduce a new way of being, a way that no longer makes the mind the epicenter of life, it doesn’t mean I didn’t get caught up in the game like everyone else.

It’s easy to get lost in a mentally oriented world.

All the more reason it’s been really challenging to move into trust of another part of us that doesn’t rely so heavily on that mind to create reality.

So while it’s easy, and let’s admit it, kind of fun to note how people like Donald Trump or (choose any authoritarian leader’s name) and their supporters project, or externalize their own insecurities and unacknowledged issues onto other people, groups, genders, races, and nations, it’s harder to recognize I am doing that to myself.

I have let go of a great deal of my ancestral story, and the old patterns of beliefs and behaviors that go with it, but there are still parts of me in conflict with each other.  That want to barrage me with accusations of not being good enough.  That want to control me through thoughts that are not particularly uplifting.  Thoughts that I am not worthy.  That I don’t make good decisions.

So as I took my walk this morning, I had a little talk with my mind.  I assured it that I wasn’t kicking it out.  That I needed it.  But now it doesn’t have to shoulder all the decisions in my life.  It can actually kick back and relax and enjoy the scenery.

I remember when I was too young to drive, I would enjoy looking out the car or bus or train window as I watched the scenery go by….it was very meditative.

MIND-Y AND SOUL-Y

So now, I can enjoy life, smell the flowers, look at the trees and things and not worry that I’m going to drive off a cliff or fall into a precipice.  So, as I was walking in nature and having a compassionate discussion with mind-y, I noticed I began to really relax, and the walk became so much richer.

I was feeling that full-bodied, sensual connection and it felt like I moved into my soul’s presence and my mind happily took the back seat.

It felt like mind-y really appreciated being able to relax.  And that in turn signaled soul-y to come in closer.

Enjoy Left My Old Self Behind