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What’s Love Got To Do With It?
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Love…that four-letter word…is probably the most overused and shamefully misunderstood word in the dictionary. It’s been used to describe things that have little to do with love. Most of us know more about what love isn’t. We were taught that love is a selfless act, putting the needs of others before us. That in relationships, love is often painful and one must sacrifice and compromise. Your lover ‘completes’ you. You are one half of a whole. Another’s love heals your loneliness.
Love is conditional. It’s given for a job well done, for being a good girl or a boy who performs well, or a man who achieves and works hard. Love is given to women who are beautiful or who are accommodating and sweet. A woman who was willing to carry the wounded hearts of others was seen as virtuous and worthy of love. As spiritual beings, we are told it is up to us to love others, to ‘be of service’ and to want to create world peace, where everyone is treated equally and everyone holds hands and sings Kumbaya around the campfire.
Love is awarded for ‘virtues’ like self-sacrifice, hard work, fame, fortune, and being loyal.
Love is bought regularly by those same things. Love is bought and sold all the time.
How many are addicted to ‘feeling’ in love and even to feeling its uncertainty, to avoid true intimacy? They got the message, early in life, that love is somehow mixed up with shame, guilt and feelings of abandonment? And so in their adult relationships, unless they are in fear of their love being unrequited, unless they are somehow struggling to prove their worthiness, usually with an emotional unavailable partner or love interest, they believe they are not experiencing love.
How many believe that love means needing to be needed? That if someone is not needing them, they are not truly in love with them.
So, with so much imbalance connected to love, is it any wonder that when a true love presents itself, we do not recognize it? Because where we are at now, in the new energy, we are being presented with true love. That love, which comes from spirit, from our soul, is not like the love we were taught about and witnessed around us.
That love is given freely without agenda. It expects nothing in return. There is nothing to do to receive that love. No hoops to jump through. No sacrifices to make. There are no contracts or fine print. There’s no co-dependency, no obsession, no guilt, no power games. It can’t be bought or sold. We do not have to subscribe to any religion, or put any god above us or before us. It includes love for all the dark as well as the light.
There’s no trying. There’s only receiving.
Spirit, and by spirit, I mean the expansive part of who we are, is able to love us so unconditionally because spirit is already fulfilled, and gives freely from that place, it shares its love that it already has for itself.
WE ARE MOVING INTO TRUE LOVE
Our human experience has kept us in a cycle of unrequited love in which pain and suffering were glorified. As our songs attest to, Love hurts.
No, it does not. If it hurts, it’s not love. It’s a cry for help.
So, as the human going through embodied enlightenment, we are inviting our soul to come into our bodies and our lives in an intimate way. And because we have opened our hearts and bodies to this new lover, we have been feeling all the ways we were not loving ourselves. Those ways are being extracted from us. All those parts of ourselves that were rejected by us, but that another part of us kept in the shadows for us, are now coming to us to experience that true love. A love that allows all of us in, not just those parts we deem ‘worthy’.
So, if you feel a little bored, and maybe a little passionless, consider this. Have you ever been in a relationship or witnessed one in which both people are caught up in intense emotions, where they are so drawn to each other but when they are together there is a mismatch of true values, so ultimately they fight and split up? Then someone comes along who is a much better match to the core of the other. But, there are no ‘fireworks’ so the other rejects the new love because there is no intensity, no push-pull. No projecting of unfulfilled desires, no neediness. No rescuing or being rescued. None of those ‘familiar’ feelings. So they believe it’s not true love.
Where we are going is profound. We are moving into true love. We will recognize it if we just stop defining it in the old way.
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