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How to differentiate between the genuine and fake friends and well-wishers

friendship

To start with, it would be cynical of me to dub all friends and well-wishers frauds and crooks. A sincere and well-wishing friend is a human manifestation of God, especially for those who don’t believe in his existence. But sometimes, it becomes difficult to sift sincere friends-even or two, if you are lucky - from a crowd of pretenders and hypocrites.

Therefore, there is no shortage of friends and relatives who profess to be your well-wishers and yet derive secret pleasure in your problems, troubles and discomfiture.

In fact, they keep contact with you just to find out how unhappy you are under a facade of genuine concern.

They will call you up almost regularly.

‘Aha, not seen/heard from you since long!  Is everything OK? Are your parents, wife and kids doing well?

How is your business? Any problem? Could I be some help?-they are always ready with it. You appear to have grown weak (good news!), or appear bright and healthy (how sad!).

They would try to probe and prod you as deeply as possible to dig out some information that might fuel their curiosity and jealousy.

“Have you found a match for your sister/daughter/son?” I have one in mind for your daughter. A thoroughly gentle and handsome boy- the only problems is he is unemployed and a little weak too.

“Or, my friend had a very good proposal for your son’s marriage. He had asked me a month back to suggest some suitable match for his daughter. I have been thinking all the time about him, but couldn't find time to broach the subject with you.” If you show some interest, they would promise to check and let you know in a day or two.

And if you remind them after a day or two as promised, they would show genuine regret: “Oh, I just forgot.” And if you remind once again, the answer would be: sorry buddy, the girl has been taken. But don’t worry I will find out another one. The idea is to force you to keep them posted about the issue.

If someone in your family is sick, they would come up with the name of a doctor whose fees are beyond your reach or, suggest one with fake medical degree who has killed quite a few patients.

If your problem continues to persist and you are losing hope, your well-wisher will come up with a new proposal.

“Oh, I know a pundit, he is a good astrologer. His prophecies never fail. He will tell you the exact date of your daughter’s/son’s marriage. He can also perform some sacred chants or provide an amulet that would surely bring good luck to you and resolve all your problems.

These friends ask about your health and welfare not out of genuine concern but eagerness to know if and how much we are in trouble, because that is what gives them real satisfaction and pleasure.

Such friends are always ready to warn you of the current or impending problems in a manner that would tempt you to go to them for help. Quite possibly they may try to exploit you to serve some of their ulterior motives.

They will find out the problems that you are desperate about and keep raising hopes for their solution. The idea is to make you dependent on them so that they can keep enjoying your discomfiture.

They will always find faults with your approach to resolving your problems. “ O, my--- what have you done! You should have done this or that, but now you have missed the opportunity and let me help you with another solution, please keep in touch with me.”

They will always try to play on your desperation. And if you guess their intentions and try to ignore them, they will keep pestering you with new solutions and raising new hopes. A person on the edge is generally more likely to fall.

walter-winchell-quote

So, always remain in the lookout of a sincere, gentle and warm-hearted friend even if you have to walk a few extra miles to find one. A genuine friend may not be able to give a useful advice, much less practical help to resolve your problems.

But his silent presence, a supportive hand on your back, sincere wishes and prayers may work wonders in boosting your morale, which is what you need most to keep moving on in trying and desperate conditions.


luminous_eye

Luminous Eye

Self-Empowerment-- Self-Development-Spiritual Growth-Mind Power-General Wellness

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