Most of us spend our life in fear of the opinion of the people around us including not only the peers, teachers, gurus, the wiseacres and the know-alls of the society but also our parents, spouses and kids who genuinely love us so much. We ruin our life, kill our souls out of the fear of what ‘they’ will think or say about us and we do not live the kind of life we love and enjoy.

So deep is the fear or respect of the opinion and judgement of others that some of us almost become scared of admitting our feelings to ourselves. We stop using our judgement in respect of our thoughts and actions to the extent that we start feeling guilty and sinful when we tend to think what we are not supposed to think much less act the way we wish.

This leads to self-negation, self-flagellation, sadism and negativity. We think that we do not deserve to be happy and, therefore, feel guilty whenever we try to seek pleasure.. And as the cliché goes, we just exist, but do not live. We make a hell of our life not because of real but imaginary fears.

Pleasure is our birth right. We owe it to ourselves to be happy. And the only way to be happy is to be what we actually are and do what we really want, of course, without encroaching upon the rights of others.

Here are few initial steps—a kind of exercise- that we can take without supposedly raising the eyebrows of those we are in awe.

1. Love yourself

Some people have a very poor opinion of their looks and appearance. They don’t like to be photographed so that nobody captures faults with their figure.  Try to get rid of this self-generated phobia. 

Here is a simple exercise.

Look into the mirror not just to see how you look, but to admire yourself, your whole body from top to toes.  Better have two mirrors so that you can clearly watch your behind also. It would be better if you remove all your clothes.

Roll your hands on all over your body and see how strong, well-built and sexy you are. It would be much better if you think of someone else doing the same to you and  also admiring you . It would boost your self-esteem and confidence.

2. Return to animal life some times

Continuing with the above exercise, you may remove all your clothes including underwears when the weather is hot especially at night not just while you sleep but even when you walk around your house, eat, watch television, work on computer or perform other chores when none except your spouse is around. Take it as an exercise in being free from the social inhibitions and being comfortable with being yourself.

3. Watch porn if you like

Don’t deny yourself proxy pleasure if you cannot dare to have one real-time. There is no dearth of occasions when you are alone in your house. Moderate sex, even indirect, is believed to be good for health. It boosts the blood circulation and makes your heart beat faster like in physical exercise.

4. Cultivate respect for your own views and opinions about yourself

Don’t try to live life in the ‘breath of others’-- to use a phrase by Alexander Pope. Most people remain obsessed with what others think of them. If they cannot manage to elicit words of praise from people they care about in their actual life, they start talking or interacting with them in their imagination in a way that may result in getting admiration from them.  

5. Develop a thick skin

Most people are not charitable. They derive devilish pleasure in demeaning others. Going by this view most   people you are close to will surely say things- generally nasty- about you especially behind your back. For most people, criticising others is the best source of pastime and entertainment. They are not going to change their attitude even if you give your life for them.

6. Return to animal life some times

Remove all your clothes including underwears when the weather is hot especially at night not just while you sleep but even when you walk around your house, eat, watch television, work on computer or perform other chores when none except your spouse is around. Take it as an exercise in being free from the social inhibitions and being comfortable with being yourself.

7. Chant affirmations

Pick up a few affirmations and repeat them like chants or mantras with all the focus at your command preferably in the morning.

Don’t use negative affirmations, for example: I am not  afraid of what people think about me.

Also avoid affirmations in future tense. For example, I will be brave and fearless of the opinion of the others.

The best affirmations are those that connect you with the present- right now.

For example:

• I am a healthy, intelligent, fearless and handsome person.
• I am strong enough to live my life the way I like.

There is, however, no hard and fast rule on how you frame your affirmations.

Luminous Eye

Self-Empowerment-- Self-Development-Spiritual Growth-Mind Power-General Wellness

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