Category: Inspired Mind Hits: 1172
“This is life. Things get taken away. You will learn to start over many times — or you will be useless.” ~ Mitch Albom,
When life knocks you down, it’s virtually impossible to start over. Instead, we want to nurse our wounds and cry in our misery. We want to quit our jobs, travel the world, find a Brazilian lover, start a blog…
While I may or may not have done some of these things from the book Eat, Pray, Love, my divorce was rock bottom in my life. Life had looked so promising until it all came to a crashing halt.
The past few years have forced me to rebuild myself from the rubble of heartbreak and loss.
Here are 9 ways to let go of your past and start over if you’ve fallen off the known path:
1. Let go of the pain.
It’s easy to nurse our pain and hold onto it for much longer than necessary. I held onto my pain over my ex-wife for years. The pain was known and familiar. Being alone wasn’t known and familiar, but ultimately I realized that to move on, I had to let go of the pain.
Feel the intense feelings that overcome your body and spirit. Cry as much as you need to. Feel as much as you want to and experience the intensity of the pain. Talk to a counselor or friend who can help you unload the feelings of guilt, shame and anger. Write down the heavy feelings so they are off your chest.
Emotional pain is a like a heavy anchor that weighs you down. You can gain your momentum again only when you lessen its grip on you.
2. Let go of anger.
While almost all of our emotions are manageable, the toughest one to deal with is anger. You’ll want to blame and hold responsible all the people who contributed to your suffering. You will walk around with unresolved pain and a burning sensation of injustice.
What they say is true: you can’t move on until you forgive. The burning anger in your heart burns only within; it doesn’t affect the people you’re angry at. So, being angry at others only makes you more unhappy and miserable. Don’t let the people who contributed to your downfall continue hurting you. Forgive them no matter how terrible the trespass. Breathe a sigh of relief and welcome in peace again.
3. Let go of grudges.
In a breakup or divorce, you want to hold everyone responsible and accountable. There are a lot of grudges to go around; there are many people who slighted you and many who let you down. You’ll want to blame your ex, your in-laws, your friends, your mutual pet who now lives with her.
Step away from grudges and, for the sake of your life, seek understanding. Try to see each person who wronged you in the best light. Instead of silent wishes that karma run over each perpetrator, whisper silent prayers of forgiveness.
Say, “I forgive you, I let go of you from my life and I wish you well. I thank you for the lessons you have taught me and for contributing to my growth.”
4. Let go of what was.
Like TiVo or the replay button on the television, you can continue watching the past over and over. It’s a lovely exercise that makes you feel warm and fuzzy until you realize you’ve wasted years of your life holding onto the past.
You can stop living in your past by becoming aware of every time you daydream about happier days gone by. Remember – it likely wasn’t that happy. We have a tendency to hold onto the good stuff and let go of the hellish memories.
Catch yourself each time you do it and bring yourself back to what you were doing today. Immerse yourself in whatever activity you’re engaged in right now. Practice mindfulness so you’re no longer living in a time that doesn’t exist anymore.
5. Let go of expectations.
Expectations are the silent killers of happiness and life. Don’t you wish that everything worked out exactly as you imagined it? Don’t you miss all the wonderful possibilities of what could have been?
You can spend a lifetime thinking about how good things could have been and how they didn’t turn out as you’d hoped. Then again, you could wake up 15 years later and realize that you should have ditched the expectations and practiced acceptance.
Instead of feeling sad about how things didn’t work out, practice being grateful for how things did turn out.
Don’t play society’s games and don’t let outside forces measure you. True happiness comes from within: from your being able to accept life’s twists and turns.
6. Let go of comparisons.
Often, it’s not life’s circumstances that make us feel bad, but our own life in comparison to those of everyone else we know.
We are a culture that uses our friends and neighbors as a measuring rod for our own personal success. Personal success doesn’t mean doing what others are doing; it’s figuring out what you want and doing that.
Don’t measure success by where you need to be at this point in your life; measure success by being able to do what you want and living a life that’s true to you. Don’t let society be the measuring rod; go within and pursue your heart’s desires.
7. Let go of attacking yourself.
It’s one of the easiest things to do when our life falls apart – we want to blame, scold and attack ourselves. Our families did this to us when we were children, and now we do it to ourselves naturally.
Your attacking yourself is not going to help the situation. Instead of tearing yourself down and blaming yourself, give yourself some credit for knowing how to get out of the situation you’re in. You have the creativity, resilience and ability to move forward. You’ve done this before.
Remind yourself that you’re worthy, able and smart enough to get through this situation. You may have made mistakes that landed you here, but you’re smart enough to learn from those mistakes and not repeat them in the future.
8. Let go of hopelessness.
You can view the world through two pairs of lenses. One pair of lenses – the one we pick up most often – is gloom and doom. Everything is falling apart and your life is over. The other pair of lenses is the sense that this setback – even though it’s a serious one – is simply preparing you for something greater.
In this setback is something good. In this setback is a message and a lesson for you to learn. This setback is going to turn your life’s low point into your high point.
You’re not going to fall further (as you’re fearing); instead, you’re going to rise higher. You know what they say – what goes down must come up!
9. Let go of feeling helpless.
Instead of curling up in our beds or crawling into the wall and disappearing from the world, why not take some time to rest, reflect and refresh?
You can overcome feelings of helplessness by checking in with yourself and thinking about the life you want. You can rebuild from the ground up and create the life you have been craving.
When life falls apart, know that you have the creativity and freedom to design a more intentional life. Take the small steps. Make the internal shifts and work toward a new and improved life for yourself.
With all my love,
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
© 2008-2018 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Archive: Inspired Mind
- 2018 (18)
- February (8)
- • Why Do We Have Resistance To Change
- • 7 Powerful Tips to Help You Become Fearless
- • Answer Your Heart’s Wake-up Calls With More Love And Less Fear
- • Lessons in Vulnerability
- • What I Wish I’d Known Before An Unexpected Loss
- • Day Dreamer
- • My Favorite Reminder to Help Relieve Anxiety
- • The Long Journey from Having, to Doing, to Being
- January (10)
- • 6 Things You Should Never Share With Other People
- • Remembering the Importance of Play
- • 22 Things That Have Become a Norm Since 2012
- • The 4 Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries
- • 6 Techniques to Stop Worrying
- • Working with Shame
- • Managing the Monkey Mind
- • New Beginnings with Love
- • Reconciling With The Divine Masculine In Us & Making Peace With Masculine Energies
- • By Doing What You Love, Success Will Follow
- February (8)
- 2017 (155)
- December (14)
- • Powerful Steps in Making Changes In Your Personal Cycle
- • The Right Thing To Do
- • Nine Tips To Start 2018 The Best Way
- • The Pleasure Monologues
- • Feelings Are Always Right
- • Reviewing Your Personal Cycles And Patterns For 2018
- • Powerful Steps To Changes In Your Personal Cycle!
- • Ego or Heart-Based Coping
- • Encouraging Children To Achieve Their Dreams
- • The Spirit of Love
- • The Process Of Expansion
- • 11 Ways to Overcome the Feeling That You Don’t Want to Live Anymore
- • The Importance of Feeling Your Feelings: My 5-Step Process
- • The You of Today Is Not the You of Tomorrow: Lessons on Change and Impermanence
- November (14)
- • What It Means To Ride Out Change
- • 5 Hacks Highly Successful Entrepreneurs Use to Stay Laser-Focused
- • The Importance of Slowing Down
- • Why the Search for Happiness Keeps Making Us Sad - Chasing Rainbows
- • Forgive the Story
- • Embracing Imperfection
- • Getting Started With Adult Coloring
- • The Opposite Of Stress
- • Letting Go Of Perfect
- • Five Keys to Freedom and Forgiveness
- • Ultimate Guide To Happiness
- • People Who Have Struggled Most In Life Are Always The Kindest
- • The Six Stages of Managing Letdowns
- • 7 Ways To Get Back On Track When You Hate Your Life
- October (10)
- • 3 Reminders for Stressful Times
- • A Conscious Compassionate Action Movement
- • The Dalai Lama's 18 Rules For Living
- • My #1 Practice for Feeling Free
- • How Kindness Can Reduce Wrinkles
- • 10 Unusual Ways to Earn Money as a Writer
- • The 5 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received
- • Breath of Love
- • Finding Happiness in Dark Times
- • The Importance of Setting Boundaries
- September (14)
- • Clearings to Help In Drawing Healthy Boundaries
- • It’s Ok to Disagree
- • A Peaceful Heart
- • The Attachment Trap
- • It’s Okay to Let them Go & Not Forget Them
- • 7 Signs You Are Socially Awkward And How To Fix It
- • 5 Ways To Tap Into Your Creativity
- • The Importance of Trusting Yourself
- • Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People? Is The Wrong Question.
- • Reframing Thoughts for Success
- • 10 Secrets to Having a Great Day That Everyone Misses
- • Asking for Help
- • 10 Important Truths About Life That Take Most People A Lifetime To Figure Out
- • When You Just Feel Like Escaping The Game of Life
- August (12)
- • 5 Grounding Exercises to Maintain Balance When Life Gets Hectic
- • The Importance Of Choosing Your Vibration
- • Beating Burnout
- • Resisting the Intentional Opposite
- • How to Use a Gratitude Journal To Change Your Life
- • A 5 Minute Morning Ritual to Start Every Day Off Right
- • How I Manage Uncertainty
- • 5 Steps to Being the Change You Wish to See
- • Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
- • You Practice The Occult Every Day Because Words Are Magic Spells
- • Releasing Feelings of Unworthiness
- • Dealing With Chaotic Energies & Still Manifesting Happiness
- July (13)
- • How to Make the Most Out of Every Moment
- • Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable
- • 10 Incredible Things Pain Can Teach You
- • Honoring Life
- • 3 Question Tibetan Test Reveals Your Personality!
- • Freedom From Your Inner-Judge
- • Growing Strong Beyond Religious Believe Systems And Limitations
- • 5 Affirmations for Cultivating Self-Love
- • Regret Nothing
- • The Pursuit of Everyday Happiness and The Danish Art of Hygge
- • How Talking To Yourself Could Actually Mean You Are A Genius
- • 10 Harsh Truths of Life as an Over-thinker with a Sensitive Heart
- • Change This Habit, Change Your Life
- June (11)
- • Using Intentions to Transform Your Life
- • Letting Go Of Attachment
- • Humility - Sacred Sunday
- • Becoming Proud
- • 10 Things Successful People Do in the Morning
- • The Four Questions I Ask Myself Every Day
- • 9 Powerful Benefits of Sitting in Silence
- • What Makes Us Who We Are?
- • Creating a Healthy Relationship with Time
- • Our Precious Planet
- • 7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thinking
- May (15)
- • Remembering the Importance of Gratitude
- • 6 Surprising Disadvantages of Being Highly Intelligent
- • 10 Things Never Learned in School
- • 4 Common Spiritual Myths & 1 Spiritual Truth
- • On Having the Courage to Change Your Life Story
- • Silence Your Inner Critic - 4 Words You Need to Stop Using for a Better Life
- • Give up Living Your Life According to Other People’s Expectations and Live It Your Way Instead
- • What Having a Peaceful Mind Means to Me
- • 5 Myths that Prevent You From Living Life to Your Fullest Potential
- • Gratefulness - How to Live Each Day to the Fullest
- • How Kindness Can Heal The Body
- • How to Make Big Life Changes Less Scary
- • World-Wide White Hat Takeover
- • There’s a Reason Why Being Kind-Hearted Attracts Toxic People
- • The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness
- April (15)
- • Why It’s So Important to Pursue Your Dreams
- • Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life
- • Releasing Codependency
- • The Greatest, Fastest, Surest Way To Experience Joy And Happiness
- • 20 Pieces of Important Life Advice From People Over 60
- • This Is The Day You Become A Better Person
- • When All Hope Is Gone
- • 15 Things That We Should All Stop Doing To Ourselves For Better Health And Happiness!
- • When Toxic Or Negative Energy Is Affecting You
- • Finding Purpose in Pain
- • Adjusting to Change Without Fear – The 7 Stages of Becoming Real
- • The One Feeling We Cannot Ignore
- • The Magnificent Life Mantra
- • The Wisdom of Silence: Learning to Talk Less and Say More
- • Empty Your Hurt And Open Your Heart
- March (8)
- • As one goes up – the other comes down
- • Michelle’s Choosing to See the Good Challenge
- • The 10 Commandments For Happiness
- • Four Steps to Cure Feeling Obligated
- • How to Be More Present
- • On Having the Courage to Walk Alone
- • 5 Times the Universe Had Your Back (Even Though You Didn’t Know It!)
- • Finding Freedom In Forgiveness
- February (17)
- • The Power of Practicing Acceptance
- • Pay It Forward
- • My Hope for You: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life
- • How to Be Your Own Best Friend
- • Stop being afraid of yourself
- • What Others Think About You Is None Of Your Business
- • Born to be kind
- • How to attract love and prosperity
- • Beings of Love
- • Healing Depression: Valuable Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times
- • 4 Habits That Add Stress to Your Life
- • The Biggest Disease Affecting Us: I’m Not Enough
- • This Comic Will Change The Way You Look At Privilege Forever
- • 5 Ways to Release Judgement & Criticism of Others
- • The Most Attractive Quality
- • On Keeping Your Dreams Alive
- • 7 Things You Can Do When Someone Is Rude
- January (12)
- • Receive the Hong Bao of Infinite Abundance
- • The Power of Your Words
- • Empowering Love
- • 2017 Year of the Rooster: A Wake-up Call
- • 30 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Tony Robbins
- • How to Deal with Change
- • Forget the Past and Move On
- • Molecules of Kindness
- • 5 Quick Fixes When Feelings Get The Best Of You.
- • The best habit to develop in 2017
- • There Are 3 Ways To React To Failure (And One Of Them Guarantees Growth)
- • On Living Life like a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
- December (14)
- 2016 (127)
- December (10)
- • 15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)
- • Your Love Shines Bright
- • Michelle’s Guide for a Peaceful Holiday
- • 6 Undeniable Reasons to Love Where You Are Right Now
- • Embracing Your Magnificence
- • Michelle’s December Kindness Challenge
- • The Science of High Performance in Sport
- • A Spiritual Guide to Dealing With Family Over the Holidays 2016
- • How to Find the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself
- • We Were Born for These Times
- November (11)
- • Gratitude in Action
- • 5 Affirmations for Dealing with Fear
- • The Wisdom of Stepping into The Unknown
- • 10 Thought Patterns That Will Leave You Feeling Stuck
- • 4 Powerful Truths That Will Change Your Life
- • Post-Election Path to Peace
- • 4 Ways to Release Fear From your Life
- • How to Keep Setbacks From Holding You Back
- • Why the Hell Would I Want to Skin a Cat?
- • When Should You Quit Your Job and Go After Your Passion?
- • How to Manage Stress During Stressful Times
- October (12)
- • Self Love: 5 Important Things You Should Know about It
- • Does a placebo work if you know it’s a placebo?
- • My Biggest Struggle and How I Overcome It
- • Women, Wisdom and Love
- • 4 Questions That Will Shift Your Life to a Whole New Level
- • Are You a People Pleaser? Here is How to Claim Back Your Self-Worth
- • This Simple Principle Changed My Life
- • How to be a leader of light
- • How a child with Chickenpox stopped itching
- • How to Shift from a Fixed Mindset into a Growth Mindset
- • 3 Simple Ways to Deepen Your Relationships
- • 4 Easy Tips to Create Happiness and Freedom Every Day
- September (8)
- • A Really Big Idea
- • The #1 Key to Finding Happiness
- • How to Release and Let Go of the Stories You Keep Telling Yourself
- • 6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
- • The 3 Types of Energy Behind Your Anxiety
- • The #1 Key to Figuring Out Your Purpose
- • How to use visualisation to boost your self-love
- • 10 Day Digital Detox: The Ups, Downs, & How You Can Do It Too!
- August (7)
- July (10)
- • The #1 Way to Bridge Our Differences
- • The Time Myth: You Have Nowhere to Be but Here
- • You’re Under NO Obligation
- • Choosing Love Over Fear
- • On Having the Courage to Follow Your Heart and Intuition
- • 10 Signs from the Universe That You Are Walking The Wrong Way
- • 5 Affirmations for Difficult Times
- • Outpourings of Love
- • When Things Get Good, Why Do Bad Things Happen?
- • What Freedom Means to Me & How I Live Freely
- June (12)
- • How to Let Go Of Something That No Longer Serves You
- • 5 Reminders for Difficult Times
- • The Miracle of Divine Perception
- • Are You Getting What You Deserve In Your Life?
- • How The Happiest Man On Earth Stays Happy.
- • 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits
- • The Control Dramas-A Lesson From “The Celestine Prophecy”
- • Courage
- • The Amazing Science Behind Earthing
- • The Highest Good Of Creativity.
- • The Universe is So Alive!
- • 8 Important Reminders When You Are Finding it Hard to Forgive
- May (17)
- • Gifts To Receive Right Here. Right Now.
- • 5 Ways to Give Up Complaining and Boost Your Positivity
- • 6 Signs You Need A Major Life Change
- • When People Can’t Hear You: Vibrational Differences
- • 5 Questions to Help You Find Your Path
- • How to deflect negative emotion
- • How to Manifest Your Desires With an Open Mind
- • Why It’s OK To Procrastinate: Staying In The Zone.
- • Feeling Your Way to Feeling Better
- • Why You Haven’t Been Lucky In Love
- • The Power Of A Smile
- • Noticing What We Take In
- • How to Have a Better Relationship with Time
- • Living happily ever after…
- • Make a Wish! 19 Magical Moments to Ask for What You Want
- • How to Incorporate Meditation into Your Daily Activities
- • Why You’re Like A Wild Flower Even Though You Don’t Know It
- April (15)
- • Let’s Talk About Abundance For A Moment
- • Finding Your Center When You Are Emotionally Triggered
- • How to slow ageing
- • Turn Your Unhappiness Into Happiness In Five Easy Steps
- • Don’t Let Your Research Kill Your Dreams!
- • New Study Reveals Why Intelligent People Are Usually Loners
- • How to Be Ok With Your Anger and Other Negative Emotions
- • How to Persevere When You Feel like Giving Up
- • Finding A Friendly Universe When It Feels Like The World’s Against You
- • Being Not Doing
- • 9 Ways to Let Go of Your Past and Start Over
- • The power of a hug
- • 3 New Views On Time To Help You Slow Down And Be Present
- • 15 Healthy Beliefs to Be Stubborn About
- • Four Lessons That Changed My Life
- March (18)
- • Why Some People Are MAGNETS for Bad Relationships
- • Are You Still Playing the Blame Game?
- • How to Make Yourself Immune to Secondhand Stress
- • How to Attract More of What You Want in Life
- • How to Let Go of Toxic Friendships Consciously
- • What Makes Us Present? This One’s A Surprise!
- • Keep Calm and Carry On: Election Edition
- • Why Silence Is Often the Best Response to a Verbal Attack
- • 6 Morning Habits That Lead To Daily Happiness
- • Setting Those Voices In Our Head Straight
- • How to Deal with Indecision
- • How Imagination Begins Manifestation
- • The Art of Self-Correction
- • What We Fear Isn’t As Scary As We Might Think
- • 10 Ways to Turn a Bad Day Around
- • Dream Big! You Are An Infinite Possibility
- • Exploring Your Resistance
- • Inspiration And How It Connects You To Spirit
- February (7)
- • Do You Know What You Want?
- • You Don’t Have to Know All the Answers (In Fact, It’s Better if You Don’t)
- • The Power of Being Imbalanced
- • Raise Your Vibration & Change Your Situation
- • The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are
- • Does What You Feel Mean Something About You?
- • Living an Inspired Life – Every Day
- December (10)