Category: Inspired Mind Hits: 485
“I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.” ~Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim
Ever since I was a little kid I used to think that in order to be liked and approved of by those around me, I had to behave, dress and live my life in a certain way. I had to be whatever the world wanted me to be. And because I was just ONE and they were so many, so many to please, at a certain point I got really confused about my own identity. I got really confused about who I was.
You see, when you spend most of your time trying to be whatever everyone wants you to be, wearing all kind of masks and costumes based on the role you are expected to be playing, you begin to lose yourself. Because you become so obsessed with this idea of being loved and approved of by everyone you come in contact with, you run around like a mad person, putting mask after mask and costume after costume and after a while, you begin to identify yourself with all of these masks and costumes. You begin to think that you are one with them. And in the end, you get lost in the crowd, becoming one of the millions, if not billions, of people who have no idea who they are and what they stand for.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung
I have been living my life in a very unauthentic way for a very long time, holding on to my past, getting my sense of worth from all the wrong places, living in fear, clinging on to all kind of excuses and limitations and living my life according to other people’s expectations and because of that I was very unhappy. I felt lost, drained and very disconnected, not only from my own Self but from the world around me also.
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think it`s best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media thinks it`s best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually, they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path. Dare to give up living your life to other people’s expectations and start living it Your Way instead.
1. You are good enough
Don’t you even dare, not even for a second, to think that who you are is not good enough and that you have to go around pretending to be something that you’re not just so that you can get some love and validation from those around you. You are good enough!
Don’t go around begging for love. Don’t put yourself in that position. Just know that in this moment you are enough, you are good enough and you don’t need anyone or anything to feel this way. Never get your sense of worth from outside yourself. Don’t let other people tell you how much you’re worth, decide for yourself. It’s called Self-worth not others worth.
2. The worst form of betrayal is self-betrayal
You know what I think? That life is all about expressing who we are fully and learning to accept, embrace, honor and treasure our authenticity, our uniqueness and our Divinity.
You didn’t come here on this planet to blend in, to lose yourself in the crowd and to pretend to be something you are not. You came here to honor yourself and to share your authenticity, your perfection, your unique and beautiful presence with the whole world. You came here to shine, to share your unique gifts and talents with all of us and to make the world a better place with your presence.
Don’t betray yourself just because so many people are already doing it. Stay true to who you are and in time you will be able to discover the power, the beauty, and love that comes from doing just that. Don’t be like everyone else, be like YOU!
“God has given you one face and you make yourselves another.” ~ Shakespeare
3. Becoming Aware of your unawareness
“We know that the wildest and most moving dramas are played not in the theater but in the hearts of ordinary men and women who pass by without exciting attention, and who betray to the world nothing of the conflicts that rage within them except possibly by a nervous breakdown. What is so difficult for the layman to grasp is the fact that in most cases the patients themselves have no suspicion whatever of the internecine war raging in their unconscious. If we remember that there are many people who understand nothing at all about themselves, we shall be less surprised at the realization that there are also people who are utterly unaware of their actual conflicts.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung, New Paths in Psychology
If you have been pretending for far too long, chances are that you’re not even aware anymore of the fact that you are playing a role and that the life you are living is not really the life you once intended to be living. It happens…
This is why there are so many unhappy people in this world and this is why we feel so lost, so disconnected and so confused by everything and everyone. We live in fear, hiding ourselves, not wanting to be fully seen and not wanting to be hurt. But the irony is that we are already hurting. Our hearts and our souls are bleeding and because they have been bleeding for so long, we`ve gotten used to it. We`ve gotten used to the pain and we are drowning in our self-created misery.
Become aware of your unawareness and decide to remove all the masks and all the costumes you have been wearing for all this time. Let the world see, love and appreciate the real you!
4. No man is an island
Embracing who you are and living life your own way is something that you do, not only for yourself to be happy and at peace, but also for those you love. You do it for your partner, your born and unborn children; you do it for your family, friends, and co-workers and you do it for the world around you. Because just like John Donne said it, “No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.”
Any man’s death diminishes you and diminishes me and we’re not talking about a physical death here, but a spiritual one. For when you start pretending to be something you are not, you automatically start rejecting your authenticity, your beauty, and perfection. And as a result, you die on the inside, little by little… and because you die, your loved ones die. I die and the whole world dies with us.
Always remember, we are all ONE. No man is an island, entire of itself… every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. And if you yourself are lost, unhappy and disconnected from the world around you because of all the masks you have been wearing, so would your loved ones be… so would the whole world be.
5. Return to your Self
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with that song from Enigma called Return to Innocence, but I remember listening to it when I was a little child and pondering on the lyrics for hours and hours. I was fascinated by both the lyrics and the video and this was, and still is, my favorite part: “Don’t be afraid to be weak. Don’t be too proud to be strong. Just look into your heart, my friend. That will be the return to yourself, the return to innocence. If you want, then start to laugh, if you must, then start to cry. Be yourself don’t hide, just believe in destiny Don’t care what people say, just follow your own way. Don’t give up and use the chance to return to innocence.” ~ Enigma, Return to Innocence
Give up living your life to other people’s expectations and live it Your Way instead. Don’t betray your own Soul just because so many people are already doing it. Don’t get to the end of your life and say, “I did it all wrong. The life I have been living was never the life I intended to be living. My whole life has been wrong.”
No matter how old or young you are and no matter for long you have been living a life that was not yours to live, it’s never too late to go back to your Self, it’s never too late to return to innocence, your innocence. Free yourself from all the things that are not aligned with who you are deep down inside. Be like a sculptor. Carve away the rough walls that imprison your beautiful and loving Soul and reveal yourself to the world. Throw away all the masks and all the costumes and let the whole world see what you are truly made of. Because trust me, you are made of something really precious and quite valuable. You are made of stardust!
“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of stardust.” ~ Carl Sagan, Cosmos
Why do you think so many people are willing to betray their own Souls just so that they can please those around them? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.
Luminita d. Saviuc
Luminita, the founder of purposefairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 things you should give up to be happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 things you should give up to be happy, book that will be published by penguin random house in march 2016. For more details check out the about page.
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Archive: Inspired Mind
- 2017 (66)
- May (14)
- • 6 Surprising Disadvantages of Being Highly Intelligent
- • 10 Things Never Learned in School
- • 4 Common Spiritual Myths & 1 Spiritual Truth
- • On Having the Courage to Change Your Life Story
- • Silence Your Inner Critic - 4 Words You Need to Stop Using for a Better Life
- • Give up Living Your Life According to Other People’s Expectations and Live It Your Way Instead
- • What Having a Peaceful Mind Means to Me
- • 5 Myths that Prevent You From Living Life to Your Fullest Potential
- • Gratefulness - How to Live Each Day to the Fullest
- • How Kindness Can Heal The Body
- • How to Make Big Life Changes Less Scary
- • World-Wide White Hat Takeover
- • There’s a Reason Why Being Kind-Hearted Attracts Toxic People
- • The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness
- April (15)
- • Why It’s So Important to Pursue Your Dreams
- • Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life
- • Releasing Codependency
- • The Greatest, Fastest, Surest Way To Experience Joy And Happiness
- • 20 Pieces of Important Life Advice From People Over 60
- • This Is The Day You Become A Better Person
- • When All Hope Is Gone
- • 15 Things That We Should All Stop Doing To Ourselves For Better Health And Happiness!
- • When Toxic Or Negative Energy Is Affecting You
- • Finding Purpose in Pain
- • Adjusting to Change Without Fear – The 7 Stages of Becoming Real
- • The One Feeling We Cannot Ignore
- • The Magnificent Life Mantra
- • The Wisdom of Silence: Learning to Talk Less and Say More
- • Empty Your Hurt And Open Your Heart
- March (8)
- • As one goes up – the other comes down
- • Michelle’s Choosing to See the Good Challenge
- • The 10 Commandments For Happiness
- • Four Steps to Cure Feeling Obligated
- • How to Be More Present
- • On Having the Courage to Walk Alone
- • 5 Times the Universe Had Your Back (Even Though You Didn’t Know It!)
- • Finding Freedom In Forgiveness
- February (17)
- • The Power of Practicing Acceptance
- • Pay It Forward
- • My Hope for You: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life
- • How to Be Your Own Best Friend
- • Stop being afraid of yourself
- • What Others Think About You Is None Of Your Business
- • Born to be kind
- • How to attract love and prosperity
- • Beings of Love
- • Healing Depression: Valuable Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times
- • 4 Habits That Add Stress to Your Life
- • The Biggest Disease Affecting Us: I’m Not Enough
- • This Comic Will Change The Way You Look At Privilege Forever
- • 5 Ways to Release Judgement & Criticism of Others
- • The Most Attractive Quality
- • On Keeping Your Dreams Alive
- • 7 Things You Can Do When Someone Is Rude
- January (12)
- • Receive the Hong Bao of Infinite Abundance
- • The Power of Your Words
- • Empowering Love
- • 2017 Year of the Rooster: A Wake-up Call
- • 30 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Tony Robbins
- • How to Deal with Change
- • Forget the Past and Move On
- • Molecules of Kindness
- • 5 Quick Fixes When Feelings Get The Best Of You.
- • The best habit to develop in 2017
- • There Are 3 Ways To React To Failure (And One Of Them Guarantees Growth)
- • On Living Life like a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
- May (14)
- 2016 (154)
- December (10)
- • 15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)
- • Your Love Shines Bright
- • Michelle’s Guide for a Peaceful Holiday
- • 6 Undeniable Reasons to Love Where You Are Right Now
- • Embracing Your Magnificence
- • Michelle’s December Kindness Challenge
- • The Science of High Performance in Sport
- • A Spiritual Guide to Dealing With Family Over the Holidays 2016
- • How to Find the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself
- • We Were Born for These Times
- November (11)
- • Gratitude in Action
- • 5 Affirmations for Dealing with Fear
- • The Wisdom of Stepping into The Unknown
- • 10 Thought Patterns That Will Leave You Feeling Stuck
- • 4 Powerful Truths That Will Change Your Life
- • Post-Election Path to Peace
- • 4 Ways to Release Fear From your Life
- • How to Keep Setbacks From Holding You Back
- • Why the Hell Would I Want to Skin a Cat?
- • When Should You Quit Your Job and Go After Your Passion?
- • How to Manage Stress During Stressful Times
- October (12)
- • Self Love: 5 Important Things You Should Know about It
- • Does a placebo work if you know it’s a placebo?
- • My Biggest Struggle and How I Overcome It
- • Women, Wisdom and Love
- • 4 Questions That Will Shift Your Life to a Whole New Level
- • Are You a People Pleaser? Here is How to Claim Back Your Self-Worth
- • This Simple Principle Changed My Life
- • How to be a leader of light
- • How a child with Chickenpox stopped itching
- • How to Shift from a Fixed Mindset into a Growth Mindset
- • 3 Simple Ways to Deepen Your Relationships
- • 4 Easy Tips to Create Happiness and Freedom Every Day
- September (8)
- • A Really Big Idea
- • The #1 Key to Finding Happiness
- • How to Release and Let Go of the Stories You Keep Telling Yourself
- • 6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
- • The 3 Types of Energy Behind Your Anxiety
- • The #1 Key to Figuring Out Your Purpose
- • How to use visualisation to boost your self-love
- • 10 Day Digital Detox: The Ups, Downs, & How You Can Do It Too!
- August (7)
- July (10)
- • The #1 Way to Bridge Our Differences
- • The Time Myth: You Have Nowhere to Be but Here
- • You’re Under NO Obligation
- • Choosing Love Over Fear
- • On Having the Courage to Follow Your Heart and Intuition
- • 10 Signs from the Universe That You Are Walking The Wrong Way
- • 5 Affirmations for Difficult Times
- • Outpourings of Love
- • When Things Get Good, Why Do Bad Things Happen?
- • What Freedom Means to Me & How I Live Freely
- June (12)
- • How to Let Go Of Something That No Longer Serves You
- • 5 Reminders for Difficult Times
- • The Miracle of Divine Perception
- • Are You Getting What You Deserve In Your Life?
- • How The Happiest Man On Earth Stays Happy.
- • 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits
- • The Control Dramas-A Lesson From “The Celestine Prophecy”
- • Courage
- • The Amazing Science Behind Earthing
- • The Highest Good Of Creativity.
- • The Universe is So Alive!
- • 8 Important Reminders When You Are Finding it Hard to Forgive
- May (17)
- • Gifts To Receive Right Here. Right Now.
- • 5 Ways to Give Up Complaining and Boost Your Positivity
- • 6 Signs You Need A Major Life Change
- • When People Can’t Hear You: Vibrational Differences
- • 5 Questions to Help You Find Your Path
- • How to deflect negative emotion
- • How to Manifest Your Desires With an Open Mind
- • Why It’s OK To Procrastinate: Staying In The Zone.
- • Feeling Your Way to Feeling Better
- • Why You Haven’t Been Lucky In Love
- • The Power Of A Smile
- • Noticing What We Take In
- • How to Have a Better Relationship with Time
- • Living happily ever after…
- • Make a Wish! 19 Magical Moments to Ask for What You Want
- • How to Incorporate Meditation into Your Daily Activities
- • Why You’re Like A Wild Flower Even Though You Don’t Know It
- April (15)
- • Let’s Talk About Abundance For A Moment
- • Finding Your Center When You Are Emotionally Triggered
- • How to slow ageing
- • Turn Your Unhappiness Into Happiness In Five Easy Steps
- • Don’t Let Your Research Kill Your Dreams!
- • New Study Reveals Why Intelligent People Are Usually Loners
- • How to Be Ok With Your Anger and Other Negative Emotions
- • How to Persevere When You Feel like Giving Up
- • Finding A Friendly Universe When It Feels Like The World’s Against You
- • Being Not Doing
- • 9 Ways to Let Go of Your Past and Start Over
- • The power of a hug
- • 3 New Views On Time To Help You Slow Down And Be Present
- • 15 Healthy Beliefs to Be Stubborn About
- • Four Lessons That Changed My Life
- March (18)
- • Why Some People Are MAGNETS for Bad Relationships
- • Are You Still Playing the Blame Game?
- • How to Make Yourself Immune to Secondhand Stress
- • How to Attract More of What You Want in Life
- • How to Let Go of Toxic Friendships Consciously
- • What Makes Us Present? This One’s A Surprise!
- • Keep Calm and Carry On: Election Edition
- • Why Silence Is Often the Best Response to a Verbal Attack
- • 6 Morning Habits That Lead To Daily Happiness
- • Setting Those Voices In Our Head Straight
- • How to Deal with Indecision
- • How Imagination Begins Manifestation
- • The Art of Self-Correction
- • What We Fear Isn’t As Scary As We Might Think
- • 10 Ways to Turn a Bad Day Around
- • Dream Big! You Are An Infinite Possibility
- • Exploring Your Resistance
- • Inspiration And How It Connects You To Spirit
- February (16)
- • Do You Know What You Want?
- • You Don’t Have to Know All the Answers (In Fact, It’s Better if You Don’t)
- • The Power of Being Imbalanced
- • Raise Your Vibration & Change Your Situation
- • The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are
- • Does What You Feel Mean Something About You?
- • Living an Inspired Life – Every Day
- • How I Began to Get it Done
- • Learning How to Create Peace From Within
- • Find yourself vs reveal yourself
- • How to Call in Love
- • Are We Really Who We Think We Are?
- • How to Live a More Inspired Life
- • How you light-up a life
- • Why Procrastination May Be Good for the Soul
- • Breakdowns Can Be Our Breakthroughs
- January (18)
- • It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection
- • How To Let Go Of What Makes You Unhappy
- • Be Mindful and Alert!
- • Are You Resisting The Situation Or A Personal Transformation?
- • Dealing with Negative Self Talk
- • Make Mistakes And Be Imperfect! (It’ll Save Your Life.)
- • Because the Purpose of Life Is to Help Others
- • 5 Things to Stop Doing…Right Now
- • Stopped A Project You Started? Here’s How To Continue.
- • Five Feel-Good Affirmations
- • Morning Rituals To Set Yourself Up For Success All Year Long
- • Are You Dreaming Big Enough? 3 Sure Signs
- • Allow yourself to be inspired by others.
- • It’s Ok to Breakdown
- • The Dark Side of the Ambition
- • 6 Things Optimists Do Differently
- • New Year, New Intentions!
- • Bad Karma - Obstacle or Challenge on the Spiritual Path?
- December (10)
- 2015 (80)
- December (17)
- • 15 New Year’s Resolutions Every Person Should Actually Make
- • When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
- • Who Says We Have To Be Happy? Here’s Another Option
- • Making Ordinary Moments Extraordinary
- • 12 Reasons to Forgive the Person Who Hurt You the Most
- • How to End 2015 on a High Note
- • Why True Love Is Eternal
- • It’s time to write your Soul Goals
- • 4 Ways to Create Happiness
- • How I Manage Holiday Expectations
- • 15 Things to Stop Doing Right Now (If You Want to Manifest Your Dreams)
- • Mind Over Matter
- • How I deal with difficult situations
- • 9 Essential Ways to Find Meaning in Your Life
- • The Heart is Your Best Teacher and Friend
- • Not Letting Failure ‘Go to Your Heart’
- • 3 Reasons Why People Are Addicted to Negativity
- November (23)
- • A Magical Way To Find Your Answers
- • My Vulnerable Sharing on Self-Love
- • Evolving vs. Changing
- • Communicating beyond Physical Language
- • A Matter of Perspective
- • The Divine Spark of Life
- • Why We Should Stop Blaming Others (Right Now!)
- • 15 Signs You’re a Highly Spiritual Person
- • Are You Being Negative or Positive? 2 Tests to Find Out
- • Walk in the Park
- • My favorite self-care practices
- • Violet Fire
- • Coming Home
- • The Journey to the Sun
- • Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
- • Spinning the Chakras
- • Practicing Patience
- • Are You a Positive Person? 20 Critical Traits of Positive People
- • Emptying the Room of our Heart
- • Top 10 Rules for Success According to Oprah
- • Who Can Look Beyond the Crowd?
- • A Wave of Sunshine
- • Why I Expect Miracles Every Day
- October (23)
- • Time to Share
- • Many Levels of the One Being That You Are
- • Venus, Jupiter and Mars in a Triangle Today
- • Everything Doesn't Happen For a Reason
- • Time is Changing
- • 5 ways to propel your life even when you feel stuck
- • Our Home on Earth Has a Good Mother
- • Eight Keys to Forgiveness
- • Everything Happens For a Reason: A Short Story
- • Love is Silence
- • When You’ve Been Working On Creating Change – And It’s NOT Coming
- • Lessons learned after 70 straight days of meditation
- • Opening our Hearts and Changing Old Styles
- • 20 EXCELLENT Reasons to Be Happy Right Now
- • On Learning to Let Go of Blame
- • How to Overcome the Need to Control Everything
- • How To Plant The Seed To Create What You Want.
- • What Values Do You Live By?
- • Ride the Wave of the Universe
- • Finding Peace and Harmony in this Life
- • Are You Too Emotionally Intelligent?
- • The Subconscious Mind: Your Master Manifester Within and How to Use It
- • How Are You Affecting Others? – 16 Things You May Want To Stop Doing
- September (10)
- • How to live an authentic life
- • The Breath and Healing
- • The Eye of God
- • 7 ways to help you take your time
- • Crown Chakra and Opening to Enlightenment
- • Planning is Artificial Intelligence
- • Patience and Humility
- • The Universe Always Knows Best
- • Freedom Through Forgiveness
- • 3 Reasons Why You Manifest the Same Problem Again and Again
- August (7)
- December (17)