Category: Inspired Mind Hits: 3541
A reader writes:
I’m feeling stuck, emotionally drained from an almost 5 year on and off relationship. I don’t know how to move on because for some reason I can’t let go no matter how hard I try. We love each other but can’t seem to make it work. Past hurt and disappointment leave me unable to fully forgive yet I can’t move on. What do I do? I’m 33 years old, divorced with no children, and was hoping this person was the answer. Now, I’m just scared I’m not going to find someone to have a family with or feel truly loved. Where do I go? What do I do? I’m successful but lacking the committed and secure relationship that I crave.
You know that feeling when you put your hand on a hot stove and it burns, but we keep doing it anyway?
We walk by the stove, and we think, I don’t know what else to do, so I’ll just put my hand there.
And we keep hurting ourselves not knowing how to get out of the loop. We still place it on the stove and think, That hurts!
And then we put it on the stove again and think, Yep, it still hurts.
One day we walk by the stove and think, I know it’s going to hurt but just because that’s what I’m used to doing, I’m going to put it there once more.
And then one day, we walk by the stove and think, Nope, I don’t want to do that anymore.
Realizing that we don’t want to put our hand on the stove IS the first crucial step.
But breaking patterns isn’t easy and since we’re human, it’s unreasonable to think our habits can change overnight.
That’s why it takes us a few times (sometimes more than we care to admit) where we continue to burn our hand until we just come to a place of being sick of it.
What seems to take us longer to understand is the confusion we feel around the pain.
Even though our heart tells us we would be better off if we made more self-loving choices, the mind makes us think the other.
Isn’t our mind funny?
It grasps onto something that causes us pain, because that’s what it has become accustomed to. It figures, a hot stove is better than nothing.
It doesn’t believe there could be less pain if we went another direction. In fact, it protects us because it believes there will be MORE of it.
The truth is there’s ALWAYS a less painful option. And that option, if made from a self-loving place, WILL bring better returns.
But how do you let go?
Take the hand that’s on the hot stove and place it on your heart.
Nothing outside of us can make us feel loved, safe, cared for, and connected. Nothing outside of us will absolve our fear. Only our heart’s love for our self and health can stop us from causing self-harm.
Loving ourselves means that — with time — we can come to trust that we can care for and fulfill our own needs. We can make new choices to help us discover step-by-step how to decrease our suffering.
THEN something awesome happens.
Every time we walk by the stove, we get more ready — ready to have what we want more fully.
We become stronger to share our life with someone and build a family not as a completion, but as an ADDITION to us.
The love and joy we create within will magnetize love and joy outside of us once we have our own heart FIRST. Because it’s then we know how we went through the fire and learned how not to get burned.
Any and all self-love actions you take will speed up the process of creating what you want.
Keep practicing. And one day, you won’t even notice the stove anymore.
Wishing you much love and happiness!
P.s. If you have any questions about your own life please feel free to e-mail me. We can all learn from each other.
The way we problem solve.
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
© 2017 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Archive: Inspired Mind
- 2017 (152)
- December (6)
- • Encouraging Children To Achieve Their Dreams
- • The Spirit of Love
- • The Process Of Expansion
- • 11 Ways to Overcome the Feeling That You Don’t Want to Live Anymore
- • The Importance of Feeling Your Feelings: My 5-Step Process
- • The You of Today Is Not the You of Tomorrow: Lessons on Change and Impermanence
- November (15)
- • What It Means To Ride Out Change
- • 5 Hacks Highly Successful Entrepreneurs Use to Stay Laser-Focused
- • The Importance of Slowing Down
- • Why the Search for Happiness Keeps Making Us Sad - Chasing Rainbows
- • Forgive the Story
- • Embracing Imperfection
- • Getting Started With Adult Coloring
- • The Opposite Of Stress
- • Letting Go Of Perfect
- • Five Keys to Freedom and Forgiveness
- • Ultimate Guide To Happiness
- • The Importance of Taking Inspired Action: When Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough
- • People Who Have Struggled Most In Life Are Always The Kindest
- • The Six Stages of Managing Letdowns
- • 7 Ways To Get Back On Track When You Hate Your Life
- October (11)
- • 3 Reminders for Stressful Times
- • A Conscious Compassionate Action Movement
- • The Dalai Lama's 18 Rules For Living
- • My #1 Practice for Feeling Free
- • Remove These 6 Words From Your Life To Manifest Prosperity
- • How Kindness Can Reduce Wrinkles
- • 10 Unusual Ways to Earn Money as a Writer
- • The 5 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received
- • Breath of Love
- • Finding Happiness in Dark Times
- • The Importance of Setting Boundaries
- September (15)
- • Clearings to Help In Drawing Healthy Boundaries
- • It’s Ok to Disagree
- • Negative People - How To Deal With Them
- • A Peaceful Heart
- • The Attachment Trap
- • It’s Okay to Let them Go & Not Forget Them
- • 7 Signs You Are Socially Awkward And How To Fix It
- • 5 Ways To Tap Into Your Creativity
- • The Importance of Trusting Yourself
- • Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People? Is The Wrong Question.
- • Reframing Thoughts for Success
- • 10 Secrets to Having a Great Day That Everyone Misses
- • Asking for Help
- • 10 Important Truths About Life That Take Most People A Lifetime To Figure Out
- • When You Just Feel Like Escaping The Game of Life
- August (14)
- • 5 Grounding Exercises to Maintain Balance When Life Gets Hectic
- • When Kindness Becomes Toxic
- • The Importance Of Choosing Your Vibration
- • Beating Burnout
- • Signs from The Universe Are A Sacred Invitation to Remember Your Power to Manifest
- • Resisting the Intentional Opposite
- • How to Use a Gratitude Journal To Change Your Life
- • A 5 Minute Morning Ritual to Start Every Day Off Right
- • How I Manage Uncertainty
- • 5 Steps to Being the Change You Wish to See
- • Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
- • You Practice The Occult Every Day Because Words Are Magic Spells
- • Releasing Feelings of Unworthiness
- • Dealing With Chaotic Energies & Still Manifesting Happiness
- July (13)
- • How to Make the Most Out of Every Moment
- • Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable
- • 10 Incredible Things Pain Can Teach You
- • Honoring Life
- • 3 Question Tibetan Test Reveals Your Personality!
- • Freedom From Your Inner-Judge
- • Growing Strong Beyond Religious Believe Systems And Limitations
- • 5 Affirmations for Cultivating Self-Love
- • Regret Nothing
- • The Pursuit of Everyday Happiness and The Danish Art of Hygge
- • How Talking To Yourself Could Actually Mean You Are A Genius
- • 10 Harsh Truths of Life as an Over-thinker with a Sensitive Heart
- • Change This Habit, Change Your Life
- June (11)
- • Using Intentions to Transform Your Life
- • Letting Go Of Attachment
- • Humility - Sacred Sunday
- • Becoming Proud
- • 10 Things Successful People Do in the Morning
- • The Four Questions I Ask Myself Every Day
- • 9 Powerful Benefits of Sitting in Silence
- • What Makes Us Who We Are?
- • Creating a Healthy Relationship with Time
- • Our Precious Planet
- • 7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thinking
- May (15)
- • Remembering the Importance of Gratitude
- • 6 Surprising Disadvantages of Being Highly Intelligent
- • 10 Things Never Learned in School
- • 4 Common Spiritual Myths & 1 Spiritual Truth
- • On Having the Courage to Change Your Life Story
- • Silence Your Inner Critic - 4 Words You Need to Stop Using for a Better Life
- • Give up Living Your Life According to Other People’s Expectations and Live It Your Way Instead
- • What Having a Peaceful Mind Means to Me
- • 5 Myths that Prevent You From Living Life to Your Fullest Potential
- • Gratefulness - How to Live Each Day to the Fullest
- • How Kindness Can Heal The Body
- • How to Make Big Life Changes Less Scary
- • World-Wide White Hat Takeover
- • There’s a Reason Why Being Kind-Hearted Attracts Toxic People
- • The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness
- April (15)
- • Why It’s So Important to Pursue Your Dreams
- • Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life
- • Releasing Codependency
- • The Greatest, Fastest, Surest Way To Experience Joy And Happiness
- • 20 Pieces of Important Life Advice From People Over 60
- • This Is The Day You Become A Better Person
- • When All Hope Is Gone
- • 15 Things That We Should All Stop Doing To Ourselves For Better Health And Happiness!
- • When Toxic Or Negative Energy Is Affecting You
- • Finding Purpose in Pain
- • Adjusting to Change Without Fear – The 7 Stages of Becoming Real
- • The One Feeling We Cannot Ignore
- • The Magnificent Life Mantra
- • The Wisdom of Silence: Learning to Talk Less and Say More
- • Empty Your Hurt And Open Your Heart
- March (8)
- • As one goes up – the other comes down
- • Michelle’s Choosing to See the Good Challenge
- • The 10 Commandments For Happiness
- • Four Steps to Cure Feeling Obligated
- • How to Be More Present
- • On Having the Courage to Walk Alone
- • 5 Times the Universe Had Your Back (Even Though You Didn’t Know It!)
- • Finding Freedom In Forgiveness
- February (17)
- • The Power of Practicing Acceptance
- • Pay It Forward
- • My Hope for You: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life
- • How to Be Your Own Best Friend
- • Stop being afraid of yourself
- • What Others Think About You Is None Of Your Business
- • Born to be kind
- • How to attract love and prosperity
- • Beings of Love
- • Healing Depression: Valuable Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times
- • 4 Habits That Add Stress to Your Life
- • The Biggest Disease Affecting Us: I’m Not Enough
- • This Comic Will Change The Way You Look At Privilege Forever
- • 5 Ways to Release Judgement & Criticism of Others
- • The Most Attractive Quality
- • On Keeping Your Dreams Alive
- • 7 Things You Can Do When Someone Is Rude
- January (12)
- • Receive the Hong Bao of Infinite Abundance
- • The Power of Your Words
- • Empowering Love
- • 2017 Year of the Rooster: A Wake-up Call
- • 30 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Tony Robbins
- • How to Deal with Change
- • Forget the Past and Move On
- • Molecules of Kindness
- • 5 Quick Fixes When Feelings Get The Best Of You.
- • The best habit to develop in 2017
- • There Are 3 Ways To React To Failure (And One Of Them Guarantees Growth)
- • On Living Life like a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
- December (6)
- 2016 (148)
- December (10)
- • 15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)
- • Your Love Shines Bright
- • Michelle’s Guide for a Peaceful Holiday
- • 6 Undeniable Reasons to Love Where You Are Right Now
- • Embracing Your Magnificence
- • Michelle’s December Kindness Challenge
- • The Science of High Performance in Sport
- • A Spiritual Guide to Dealing With Family Over the Holidays 2016
- • How to Find the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself
- • We Were Born for These Times
- November (11)
- • Gratitude in Action
- • 5 Affirmations for Dealing with Fear
- • The Wisdom of Stepping into The Unknown
- • 10 Thought Patterns That Will Leave You Feeling Stuck
- • 4 Powerful Truths That Will Change Your Life
- • Post-Election Path to Peace
- • 4 Ways to Release Fear From your Life
- • How to Keep Setbacks From Holding You Back
- • Why the Hell Would I Want to Skin a Cat?
- • When Should You Quit Your Job and Go After Your Passion?
- • How to Manage Stress During Stressful Times
- October (12)
- • Self Love: 5 Important Things You Should Know about It
- • Does a placebo work if you know it’s a placebo?
- • My Biggest Struggle and How I Overcome It
- • Women, Wisdom and Love
- • 4 Questions That Will Shift Your Life to a Whole New Level
- • Are You a People Pleaser? Here is How to Claim Back Your Self-Worth
- • This Simple Principle Changed My Life
- • How to be a leader of light
- • How a child with Chickenpox stopped itching
- • How to Shift from a Fixed Mindset into a Growth Mindset
- • 3 Simple Ways to Deepen Your Relationships
- • 4 Easy Tips to Create Happiness and Freedom Every Day
- September (8)
- • A Really Big Idea
- • The #1 Key to Finding Happiness
- • How to Release and Let Go of the Stories You Keep Telling Yourself
- • 6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
- • The 3 Types of Energy Behind Your Anxiety
- • The #1 Key to Figuring Out Your Purpose
- • How to use visualisation to boost your self-love
- • 10 Day Digital Detox: The Ups, Downs, & How You Can Do It Too!
- August (7)
- July (10)
- • The #1 Way to Bridge Our Differences
- • The Time Myth: You Have Nowhere to Be but Here
- • You’re Under NO Obligation
- • Choosing Love Over Fear
- • On Having the Courage to Follow Your Heart and Intuition
- • 10 Signs from the Universe That You Are Walking The Wrong Way
- • 5 Affirmations for Difficult Times
- • Outpourings of Love
- • When Things Get Good, Why Do Bad Things Happen?
- • What Freedom Means to Me & How I Live Freely
- June (12)
- • How to Let Go Of Something That No Longer Serves You
- • 5 Reminders for Difficult Times
- • The Miracle of Divine Perception
- • Are You Getting What You Deserve In Your Life?
- • How The Happiest Man On Earth Stays Happy.
- • 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits
- • The Control Dramas-A Lesson From “The Celestine Prophecy”
- • Courage
- • The Amazing Science Behind Earthing
- • The Highest Good Of Creativity.
- • The Universe is So Alive!
- • 8 Important Reminders When You Are Finding it Hard to Forgive
- May (17)
- • Gifts To Receive Right Here. Right Now.
- • 5 Ways to Give Up Complaining and Boost Your Positivity
- • 6 Signs You Need A Major Life Change
- • When People Can’t Hear You: Vibrational Differences
- • 5 Questions to Help You Find Your Path
- • How to deflect negative emotion
- • How to Manifest Your Desires With an Open Mind
- • Why It’s OK To Procrastinate: Staying In The Zone.
- • Feeling Your Way to Feeling Better
- • Why You Haven’t Been Lucky In Love
- • The Power Of A Smile
- • Noticing What We Take In
- • How to Have a Better Relationship with Time
- • Living happily ever after…
- • Make a Wish! 19 Magical Moments to Ask for What You Want
- • How to Incorporate Meditation into Your Daily Activities
- • Why You’re Like A Wild Flower Even Though You Don’t Know It
- April (15)
- • Let’s Talk About Abundance For A Moment
- • Finding Your Center When You Are Emotionally Triggered
- • How to slow ageing
- • Turn Your Unhappiness Into Happiness In Five Easy Steps
- • Don’t Let Your Research Kill Your Dreams!
- • New Study Reveals Why Intelligent People Are Usually Loners
- • How to Be Ok With Your Anger and Other Negative Emotions
- • How to Persevere When You Feel like Giving Up
- • Finding A Friendly Universe When It Feels Like The World’s Against You
- • Being Not Doing
- • 9 Ways to Let Go of Your Past and Start Over
- • The power of a hug
- • 3 New Views On Time To Help You Slow Down And Be Present
- • 15 Healthy Beliefs to Be Stubborn About
- • Four Lessons That Changed My Life
- March (18)
- • Why Some People Are MAGNETS for Bad Relationships
- • Are You Still Playing the Blame Game?
- • How to Make Yourself Immune to Secondhand Stress
- • How to Attract More of What You Want in Life
- • How to Let Go of Toxic Friendships Consciously
- • What Makes Us Present? This One’s A Surprise!
- • Keep Calm and Carry On: Election Edition
- • Why Silence Is Often the Best Response to a Verbal Attack
- • 6 Morning Habits That Lead To Daily Happiness
- • Setting Those Voices In Our Head Straight
- • How to Deal with Indecision
- • How Imagination Begins Manifestation
- • The Art of Self-Correction
- • What We Fear Isn’t As Scary As We Might Think
- • 10 Ways to Turn a Bad Day Around
- • Dream Big! You Are An Infinite Possibility
- • Exploring Your Resistance
- • Inspiration And How It Connects You To Spirit
- February (16)
- • Do You Know What You Want?
- • You Don’t Have to Know All the Answers (In Fact, It’s Better if You Don’t)
- • The Power of Being Imbalanced
- • Raise Your Vibration & Change Your Situation
- • The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are
- • Does What You Feel Mean Something About You?
- • Living an Inspired Life – Every Day
- • How I Began to Get it Done
- • Learning How to Create Peace From Within
- • Find yourself vs reveal yourself
- • How to Call in Love
- • Are We Really Who We Think We Are?
- • How to Live a More Inspired Life
- • How you light-up a life
- • Why Procrastination May Be Good for the Soul
- • Breakdowns Can Be Our Breakthroughs
- January (12)
- • It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection
- • How To Let Go Of What Makes You Unhappy
- • Be Mindful and Alert!
- • Are You Resisting The Situation Or A Personal Transformation?
- • Dealing with Negative Self Talk
- • Make Mistakes And Be Imperfect! (It’ll Save Your Life.)
- • Because the Purpose of Life Is to Help Others
- • 5 Things to Stop Doing…Right Now
- • Stopped A Project You Started? Here’s How To Continue.
- • Five Feel-Good Affirmations
- • Morning Rituals To Set Yourself Up For Success All Year Long
- • Are You Dreaming Big Enough? 3 Sure Signs
- December (10)