Category: Inspired Mind Hits: 1121
“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
You’re turning 30.
You’re turning 40.
You’re turning 50.
When are you meeting someone new?
When are you getting married?
When are you buying a home?
When are you having a baby?
The questions are endless.
The pressure relentless.
Over and over in our lives, we are advised, pressured and even shamed to meet certain life goals.
Your life is expected to go something like this:
Enroll in pre-schoool. Graduate from kindertarten. Learn to drive. Go to the prom. Complete college and get a degree. Go to graduate school and meet someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Pay it off. Have kids. Send them to college. Retire. Give back to your community. Spend time with your grandchildren.
The only problem with this kind of a pre-packaged life is that there’s expectations, time pressures and social pressures for you to keep up with.
You can’t live the life you want. You can’t be who you are.
You have to graduate. You have to marry. You have to work. You have to buy that house.
My journey to someone else’s dream.
This was my life story. I went through the motions and kept going as society cheered me on.
Graduate high school. Check.
College degree. Check.
Law degree. Check.
Getting married early. Check.
Buying a home. Check.
Professional job in fancy office. Check.
Unfortunately, as I kept checking off the boxes and moving towards a life that society was encouraging me to follow, two things happened.
One, it all came crashing down as life threw me some challenging circumstances that shook me up to the core. As my marriage ended and I decided that the law profession was not really for me in the first place, I realize that I had been living other people’s dreams.
I had fallen into the trap of society’s herd mentality and simply pursued those things that society wanted me to have – not what I wanted.
I felt unfulfilled.
And like I had been living someone else’s life.
Time and social pressures.
Society beats its deafening drum so loudly that no one is allowed to think for themselves.
You’re not allowed to have your own desires or have clarity in your own life about what you need or want. You’re turned into a socialized and pressurized robot that conforms to society’s expectations.
Your whole life you feel like you have a ticking time bomb causing you to run faster, quicker and fulfill society’s expectations. Your life clock is ticking…Your biological clock is ticking…Your career clock is ticking….
You were supposed to have been married 5 years ago. You should have had kids like your cousins already did last year. You should be purchasing your home (committing to a 30 year mortgage) by next year.
And when you’re not measuring up, you feel inadequate. You feel like you’re not living up to everyone’s expectations. And when your friends and siblings are doing all those things that you’re supposed to be doing, you end up feeling lost.
Everyone else is doing life on society’s and the Hallmark greeting card timeline. You’re doing it on your own. And you don’t even know if you can do all those things that’s expected of you in the first place.
You’re on a treadmill running a race that has no finish line but everyone makes you feel like you’re way behind.
How Do You Ignore Unrealistic Demands and Social Pressures to Live Your Life on Your Own Timeline?
1. Wake up and smell the green tea.
Awareness is the first key to taking control of your life. Realize that all the expectations and pressures are a societal set-up. Your family, extended family and community want you to follow the timelines they’ve followed.
You’ve been trained and influenced your entire life from Disney movies to Bollywood movies, TV serials, novels and telenovelas to live a certain kind of life.
These themes of what a fulfilling life are repeated so often that you begin to think it should be your life too.
Wake up and realize that going to college, becoming a professional, purchasing a home and getting married is not for everyone.
Just because many people follow this route, you don’t have to.
Notice how you’ve been programmed in life and persuaded to follow this path. Think back to family conversations that contemplated your job, your future husband or the kids you’d give birth to down the road.
Know that the life and career path that you’ve been nudged towards your entire life is a sham. It’s not the only path that you can take and it doesn’t have to be the right path for you.
2. Refuse to play up to social pressures and society’s timelines.
Once you’re aware that you’ve been snookered by society, you can do something about it.
You can calmly and boldly decide that you’re not going to play by society’s rules. You’re not going to go to graduate school. You’re not going to become a professional 9 to 5er. You’re not going to get married to someone just for the sake of getting married or because society tells you that life is more fulfilling with a partner.
You don’t have to play up to your family’s pressures or society’s timelines.
Let social pressures bounce off you like water of a duck’s back.
Know that others feel safer when you follow the chosen path. When you’re doing what everyone else is doing, your family, friends and community feel at ease. They want to see you following the same things that they are so they don’t feel like they’ve wasted their life!
Lots of people will have advice for you but feel free to discard the ones that don’t resonate with you.
While you may feel pressure from advice coming from a parent, older relative or good family friend, know that their advice is highly biased and soaked in societal constructs.
It’s not that they’re giving you wrong advice. They, unfortunately, don’t know any better – it’s what they’ve been told their entire lives.
3. Be guided by your intuition and live your truth.
If the life you’re living feels overwhelming and pressured by others, your intuition will be screaming at you.
It will feel all wrong and you’ll feel like you’re not living your own life. You’re living someone else’s life.
You know your own truth and what’s right for you.
Your heart, some people call this a gut feeling or your intuition, knows clearly without any doubt what you should be doing with your life.
If you’re an intuitive person or are experiencing strong feelings about what to do with your life, trust that more than you trust anyone else’s opinions and words.
Talking to others and getting opinions to undermine your gut feeling is always a bad idea and will lead to unfulfilling and unhappy decisions.
Trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Trust your gut feeling.
4. Live in the present moment and take it one day at a time.
Another thing that your family and society tries to do is to push you to living in the next moment and to be continuously looking forward at the future.
There’s always the future to be preoccupied with.
It’s not about celebrating high school graduation today but wondering what you’re going to do after graduating college.
It’s not about how you enjoyed your field of study but what type of job you’re going to get.
It’s never about if you enjoyed meeting someone new but if you’re going to marry him.
It’s our human tendency to never live in the present moment and enjoy the gift of now.
Everyone wants more for you so they want you to look ahead and keep your eye on the prize even if ….even if ….they don’t know what the prize is.
What you want may be so different than what anyone else wants.
Maybe you don’t want to get married.
Maybe you don’t want to be a mother.
Maybe you don’t want to work in the corporate world or have a 9 to 5 job.
But you feel pressured to do these things.
And you see everyone around you blindly following these pursuits.
And you feel pressured to make decisions today that will impact your decisions tomorrow.
Just stop spinning the wheels.
Stop indulging your family and friends from living a “tomorrow” life.
Celebrate this moment and live your life here today.
Chose to live the life you want and desire instead of what others want for you.
Keep your eye on what’s in front of you today, not how it ties to a prestigious university or dream job tomorrow.
As you know, you’re not guaranteed a tomorrow – all you have is the day in front of you.
Live your life the way you want to. Cut through society’s noise, family chatter and the lives of your friends who are chasing what society values.
Instead, chose to live an authentic life that honors your desires and the present moment.
Don’t live life for a moment that is not yet here.
Your life is here and now.
With all my love,
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
© 2017 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Archive: Inspired Mind
- 2017 (142)
- November (11)
- • Forgive the Story
- • Embracing Imperfection
- • Getting Started With Adult Coloring
- • The Opposite Of Stress
- • Letting Go Of Perfect
- • Five Keys to Freedom and Forgiveness
- • Ultimate Guide To Happiness
- • The Importance of Taking Inspired Action: When Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough
- • People Who Have Struggled Most In Life Are Always The Kindest
- • The Six Stages of Managing Letdowns
- • 7 Ways To Get Back On Track When You Hate Your Life
- October (11)
- • 3 Reminders for Stressful Times
- • A Conscious Compassionate Action Movement
- • The Dalai Lama's 18 Rules For Living
- • My #1 Practice for Feeling Free
- • Remove These 6 Words From Your Life To Manifest Prosperity
- • How Kindness Can Reduce Wrinkles
- • 10 Unusual Ways to Earn Money as a Writer
- • The 5 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received
- • Breath of Love
- • Finding Happiness in Dark Times
- • The Importance of Setting Boundaries
- September (15)
- • Clearings to Help In Drawing Healthy Boundaries
- • It’s Ok to Disagree
- • Negative People - How To Deal With Them
- • A Peaceful Heart
- • The Attachment Trap
- • It’s Okay to Let them Go & Not Forget Them
- • 7 Signs You Are Socially Awkward And How To Fix It
- • 5 Ways To Tap Into Your Creativity
- • The Importance of Trusting Yourself
- • Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People? Is The Wrong Question.
- • Reframing Thoughts for Success
- • 10 Secrets to Having a Great Day That Everyone Misses
- • Asking for Help
- • 10 Important Truths About Life That Take Most People A Lifetime To Figure Out
- • When You Just Feel Like Escaping The Game of Life
- August (14)
- • 5 Grounding Exercises to Maintain Balance When Life Gets Hectic
- • When Kindness Becomes Toxic
- • The Importance Of Choosing Your Vibration
- • Beating Burnout
- • Signs from The Universe Are A Sacred Invitation to Remember Your Power to Manifest
- • Resisting the Intentional Opposite
- • How to Use a Gratitude Journal To Change Your Life
- • A 5 Minute Morning Ritual to Start Every Day Off Right
- • How I Manage Uncertainty
- • 5 Steps to Being the Change You Wish to See
- • Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
- • You Practice The Occult Every Day Because Words Are Magic Spells
- • Releasing Feelings of Unworthiness
- • Dealing With Chaotic Energies & Still Manifesting Happiness
- July (13)
- • How to Make the Most Out of Every Moment
- • Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable
- • 10 Incredible Things Pain Can Teach You
- • Honoring Life
- • 3 Question Tibetan Test Reveals Your Personality!
- • Freedom From Your Inner-Judge
- • Growing Strong Beyond Religious Believe Systems And Limitations
- • 5 Affirmations for Cultivating Self-Love
- • Regret Nothing
- • The Pursuit of Everyday Happiness and The Danish Art of Hygge
- • How Talking To Yourself Could Actually Mean You Are A Genius
- • 10 Harsh Truths of Life as an Over-thinker with a Sensitive Heart
- • Change This Habit, Change Your Life
- June (11)
- • Using Intentions to Transform Your Life
- • Letting Go Of Attachment
- • Humility - Sacred Sunday
- • Becoming Proud
- • 10 Things Successful People Do in the Morning
- • The Four Questions I Ask Myself Every Day
- • 9 Powerful Benefits of Sitting in Silence
- • What Makes Us Who We Are?
- • Creating a Healthy Relationship with Time
- • Our Precious Planet
- • 7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thinking
- May (15)
- • Remembering the Importance of Gratitude
- • 6 Surprising Disadvantages of Being Highly Intelligent
- • 10 Things Never Learned in School
- • 4 Common Spiritual Myths & 1 Spiritual Truth
- • On Having the Courage to Change Your Life Story
- • Silence Your Inner Critic - 4 Words You Need to Stop Using for a Better Life
- • Give up Living Your Life According to Other People’s Expectations and Live It Your Way Instead
- • What Having a Peaceful Mind Means to Me
- • 5 Myths that Prevent You From Living Life to Your Fullest Potential
- • Gratefulness - How to Live Each Day to the Fullest
- • How Kindness Can Heal The Body
- • How to Make Big Life Changes Less Scary
- • World-Wide White Hat Takeover
- • There’s a Reason Why Being Kind-Hearted Attracts Toxic People
- • The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness
- April (15)
- • Why It’s So Important to Pursue Your Dreams
- • Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life
- • Releasing Codependency
- • The Greatest, Fastest, Surest Way To Experience Joy And Happiness
- • 20 Pieces of Important Life Advice From People Over 60
- • This Is The Day You Become A Better Person
- • When All Hope Is Gone
- • 15 Things That We Should All Stop Doing To Ourselves For Better Health And Happiness!
- • When Toxic Or Negative Energy Is Affecting You
- • Finding Purpose in Pain
- • Adjusting to Change Without Fear – The 7 Stages of Becoming Real
- • The One Feeling We Cannot Ignore
- • The Magnificent Life Mantra
- • The Wisdom of Silence: Learning to Talk Less and Say More
- • Empty Your Hurt And Open Your Heart
- March (8)
- • As one goes up – the other comes down
- • Michelle’s Choosing to See the Good Challenge
- • The 10 Commandments For Happiness
- • Four Steps to Cure Feeling Obligated
- • How to Be More Present
- • On Having the Courage to Walk Alone
- • 5 Times the Universe Had Your Back (Even Though You Didn’t Know It!)
- • Finding Freedom In Forgiveness
- February (17)
- • The Power of Practicing Acceptance
- • Pay It Forward
- • My Hope for You: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life
- • How to Be Your Own Best Friend
- • Stop being afraid of yourself
- • What Others Think About You Is None Of Your Business
- • Born to be kind
- • How to attract love and prosperity
- • Beings of Love
- • Healing Depression: Valuable Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times
- • 4 Habits That Add Stress to Your Life
- • The Biggest Disease Affecting Us: I’m Not Enough
- • This Comic Will Change The Way You Look At Privilege Forever
- • 5 Ways to Release Judgement & Criticism of Others
- • The Most Attractive Quality
- • On Keeping Your Dreams Alive
- • 7 Things You Can Do When Someone Is Rude
- January (12)
- • Receive the Hong Bao of Infinite Abundance
- • The Power of Your Words
- • Empowering Love
- • 2017 Year of the Rooster: A Wake-up Call
- • 30 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Tony Robbins
- • How to Deal with Change
- • Forget the Past and Move On
- • Molecules of Kindness
- • 5 Quick Fixes When Feelings Get The Best Of You.
- • The best habit to develop in 2017
- • There Are 3 Ways To React To Failure (And One Of Them Guarantees Growth)
- • On Living Life like a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
- November (11)
- 2016 (154)
- December (10)
- • 15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)
- • Your Love Shines Bright
- • Michelle’s Guide for a Peaceful Holiday
- • 6 Undeniable Reasons to Love Where You Are Right Now
- • Embracing Your Magnificence
- • Michelle’s December Kindness Challenge
- • The Science of High Performance in Sport
- • A Spiritual Guide to Dealing With Family Over the Holidays 2016
- • How to Find the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself
- • We Were Born for These Times
- November (11)
- • Gratitude in Action
- • 5 Affirmations for Dealing with Fear
- • The Wisdom of Stepping into The Unknown
- • 10 Thought Patterns That Will Leave You Feeling Stuck
- • 4 Powerful Truths That Will Change Your Life
- • Post-Election Path to Peace
- • 4 Ways to Release Fear From your Life
- • How to Keep Setbacks From Holding You Back
- • Why the Hell Would I Want to Skin a Cat?
- • When Should You Quit Your Job and Go After Your Passion?
- • How to Manage Stress During Stressful Times
- October (12)
- • Self Love: 5 Important Things You Should Know about It
- • Does a placebo work if you know it’s a placebo?
- • My Biggest Struggle and How I Overcome It
- • Women, Wisdom and Love
- • 4 Questions That Will Shift Your Life to a Whole New Level
- • Are You a People Pleaser? Here is How to Claim Back Your Self-Worth
- • This Simple Principle Changed My Life
- • How to be a leader of light
- • How a child with Chickenpox stopped itching
- • How to Shift from a Fixed Mindset into a Growth Mindset
- • 3 Simple Ways to Deepen Your Relationships
- • 4 Easy Tips to Create Happiness and Freedom Every Day
- September (8)
- • A Really Big Idea
- • The #1 Key to Finding Happiness
- • How to Release and Let Go of the Stories You Keep Telling Yourself
- • 6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
- • The 3 Types of Energy Behind Your Anxiety
- • The #1 Key to Figuring Out Your Purpose
- • How to use visualisation to boost your self-love
- • 10 Day Digital Detox: The Ups, Downs, & How You Can Do It Too!
- August (7)
- July (10)
- • The #1 Way to Bridge Our Differences
- • The Time Myth: You Have Nowhere to Be but Here
- • You’re Under NO Obligation
- • Choosing Love Over Fear
- • On Having the Courage to Follow Your Heart and Intuition
- • 10 Signs from the Universe That You Are Walking The Wrong Way
- • 5 Affirmations for Difficult Times
- • Outpourings of Love
- • When Things Get Good, Why Do Bad Things Happen?
- • What Freedom Means to Me & How I Live Freely
- June (12)
- • How to Let Go Of Something That No Longer Serves You
- • 5 Reminders for Difficult Times
- • The Miracle of Divine Perception
- • Are You Getting What You Deserve In Your Life?
- • How The Happiest Man On Earth Stays Happy.
- • 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits
- • The Control Dramas-A Lesson From “The Celestine Prophecy”
- • Courage
- • The Amazing Science Behind Earthing
- • The Highest Good Of Creativity.
- • The Universe is So Alive!
- • 8 Important Reminders When You Are Finding it Hard to Forgive
- May (17)
- • Gifts To Receive Right Here. Right Now.
- • 5 Ways to Give Up Complaining and Boost Your Positivity
- • 6 Signs You Need A Major Life Change
- • When People Can’t Hear You: Vibrational Differences
- • 5 Questions to Help You Find Your Path
- • How to deflect negative emotion
- • How to Manifest Your Desires With an Open Mind
- • Why It’s OK To Procrastinate: Staying In The Zone.
- • Feeling Your Way to Feeling Better
- • Why You Haven’t Been Lucky In Love
- • The Power Of A Smile
- • Noticing What We Take In
- • How to Have a Better Relationship with Time
- • Living happily ever after…
- • Make a Wish! 19 Magical Moments to Ask for What You Want
- • How to Incorporate Meditation into Your Daily Activities
- • Why You’re Like A Wild Flower Even Though You Don’t Know It
- April (15)
- • Let’s Talk About Abundance For A Moment
- • Finding Your Center When You Are Emotionally Triggered
- • How to slow ageing
- • Turn Your Unhappiness Into Happiness In Five Easy Steps
- • Don’t Let Your Research Kill Your Dreams!
- • New Study Reveals Why Intelligent People Are Usually Loners
- • How to Be Ok With Your Anger and Other Negative Emotions
- • How to Persevere When You Feel like Giving Up
- • Finding A Friendly Universe When It Feels Like The World’s Against You
- • Being Not Doing
- • 9 Ways to Let Go of Your Past and Start Over
- • The power of a hug
- • 3 New Views On Time To Help You Slow Down And Be Present
- • 15 Healthy Beliefs to Be Stubborn About
- • Four Lessons That Changed My Life
- March (18)
- • Why Some People Are MAGNETS for Bad Relationships
- • Are You Still Playing the Blame Game?
- • How to Make Yourself Immune to Secondhand Stress
- • How to Attract More of What You Want in Life
- • How to Let Go of Toxic Friendships Consciously
- • What Makes Us Present? This One’s A Surprise!
- • Keep Calm and Carry On: Election Edition
- • Why Silence Is Often the Best Response to a Verbal Attack
- • 6 Morning Habits That Lead To Daily Happiness
- • Setting Those Voices In Our Head Straight
- • How to Deal with Indecision
- • How Imagination Begins Manifestation
- • The Art of Self-Correction
- • What We Fear Isn’t As Scary As We Might Think
- • 10 Ways to Turn a Bad Day Around
- • Dream Big! You Are An Infinite Possibility
- • Exploring Your Resistance
- • Inspiration And How It Connects You To Spirit
- February (16)
- • Do You Know What You Want?
- • You Don’t Have to Know All the Answers (In Fact, It’s Better if You Don’t)
- • The Power of Being Imbalanced
- • Raise Your Vibration & Change Your Situation
- • The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are
- • Does What You Feel Mean Something About You?
- • Living an Inspired Life – Every Day
- • How I Began to Get it Done
- • Learning How to Create Peace From Within
- • Find yourself vs reveal yourself
- • How to Call in Love
- • Are We Really Who We Think We Are?
- • How to Live a More Inspired Life
- • How you light-up a life
- • Why Procrastination May Be Good for the Soul
- • Breakdowns Can Be Our Breakthroughs
- January (18)
- • It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection
- • How To Let Go Of What Makes You Unhappy
- • Be Mindful and Alert!
- • Are You Resisting The Situation Or A Personal Transformation?
- • Dealing with Negative Self Talk
- • Make Mistakes And Be Imperfect! (It’ll Save Your Life.)
- • Because the Purpose of Life Is to Help Others
- • 5 Things to Stop Doing…Right Now
- • Stopped A Project You Started? Here’s How To Continue.
- • Five Feel-Good Affirmations
- • Morning Rituals To Set Yourself Up For Success All Year Long
- • Are You Dreaming Big Enough? 3 Sure Signs
- • Allow yourself to be inspired by others.
- • It’s Ok to Breakdown
- • The Dark Side of the Ambition
- • 6 Things Optimists Do Differently
- • New Year, New Intentions!
- • Bad Karma - Obstacle or Challenge on the Spiritual Path?
- December (10)
- 2015 (4)