A+ A A-

The Art of Not Really Compromising

The Art of Not Really Compromising

There’s a fine line between consideration for the other - particularly your partner - and recognition of your own wants and needs. It’s a delicate balance that is perhaps best handled by the careful scales of Libra, yet we need to approach it with the warrior energy of Mars.

Having written about the Sun, Venus, and the Moon, it’s time to approach this ‘forgotten’ relationship planet. Mars is the God of War, and we rarely think of him in terms of romance and partnership. In fact, until a few decades ago, there’s no mention of Mars in this context among astrologers. Only after our society took a giant leap forward in understanding personal and relationship dynamics did we find a role for the warrior energy.

It doesn’t take much time in a close relationship to find out that there is a need to assert yourself, and sometimes to really ‘fight’ with each other. Mars tells us how each person will go about this: will they be direct and confrontational, like Mars in Aries, or will they hold in feelings until they burst out, like Mars in Scorpio? Of course, with consciousness and effort, any placement of Mars can be used in a compassionate and kind way, but we usually do need to look at the factory default setting of Mars.

It’s good to consider Mars early in a relationship, although that’s the time he’s least likely to be appealing to think about. As partnerships get started, they usually have a veneer of idealism and a great deal of hope that they will be perfect, and conflict-free. Who wants to think about how to tell your partner something that’s not good news?

Because we don’t want to shed that veneer of idealism, we often let things go early on in a relationship. We tell ourselves it isn’t worth it to make waves, when everything else is so good. After a time, however, minor issues can build up into a major conflict. That’s part of why the First Fight has such legendary significance for some many couples.

But there’s more to it than that. As we’ve evolved our understanding of relationships in recent decades, we’ve placed them on something of a pedestal. We’ve given Venusian harmony top billing, and emphasized the need for compromise. That was probably a necessary correction for centuries of more selfish behavior that needed to be curbed if we were going to bring relationships to a higher level.

Yet it comes at a cost. Too much compromise means giving in and, in a sense, giving up on things we care about. That can lead to resentment and eventually distance the partners from each other. It can lead to what I call a Least Common Denominator relationship. It works like this:

You like to ski, I don’t, so no one skis.

I like to dance, you don’t, so no one dances.

We both kind of like to watch television, so that’s what we do.

It doesn’t take much to see how that kind of relationship is not only rather boring, it chokes the life out of what each partner loves to do. And that’s where Mars comes in. If we can invoke a little ‘creative selfishness’ we can assert our needs while still honoring the relationship: “I love you, and I’m going skiing.”

-AD

Credit

Feel free to contact us at if you would like to explore relationship, gender and/or sexuality issues in your char
Margaret Gray, MSW. and Armand Diaz, Ph.D., set up 'Relationships and Astrology' in 2016. They offer relationship astrology consultations to individuals, couples and families, as well as courses in Relationship Astrology. They can be contacted via: www.relationshipsandastrology.com 

https://www.facebook.com/Relationships-and-Astrology-1084187468316035/
Twitter: Relationshipastr@RelationAstro>
Source

Re-blogged with persmission from www.relationshipsandastrology.com on crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved. 

CrystalWind.ca is free to access and use.
"Would you consider a small gift of $11.11 ?" :)
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
"Life is an echo, what you send out comes back."

© 2008-2019 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.

Featured This Month

Page:

Virgo Mythology

Virgo Mythology

The Virgo Myth In all of constellation mythology, few legends are as misund... Read more

Sapphire

Sapphire

The Self - Sufficiency Stone Sapphire has a calming and regulating effect o... Read more

The Vine : September 2nd - September 29th

The Vine : September 2nd - September 29th

The Autumnal Equinox ( Alban Elfed ) Celtic Symbol : The White Swan Zodiac... Read more

Sweet Violet

Sweet Violet

Sweet Violet Faithfulness and modesty. “I will always be true to you.” Hel... Read more

Amazonite

Amazonite

The Stone of Perfect Expression The colour of amazonite aligns to the heart a... Read more

Peridot

Peridot

The Humour Stone Peridot stone makes the life of the wearer prosperous and ha... Read more

Mabon Magic: Ideas For Fall Decoration And R…

Mabon Magic: Ideas For Fall Decoration And Ritual

Welcome (almost!) to Fall! We’re turning the Great Wheel once again, toward ... Read more

Peridot: The Healer's Stone

Peridot: The Healer's Stone

Peridot has been used as a Power Stone for centuries. Peridot fosters emotio... Read more

Mabon

Mabon

Mabon Ritual Celebrated on the Autumn Equinox, around September 21 each year... Read more

Virgo's Featured Stone - Sugilite

Virgo's Featured Stone - Sugilite

Sugilite Birthstone: Virgo Planet: Mercury Element: Earth Chakra: Crown ... Read more

Virgo

Virgo

VIRGO Aug 23 - Sept 22 Spirit: To follow opportunity and serve Ego: Analyti... Read more

Mabon Modern Style

Mabon Modern Style

The Mabon season begins somewhere around the 21st-22nd of September and cont... Read more

Harvest Moon

Harvest Moon

Brown Bear – Amethyst – Violet – Purple August 23 to September 22... Read more

Watermelon Tourmaline

Watermelon Tourmaline

Synonym: Rainbow Tourmaline The watermelon tourmaline is a rare variety tha... Read more

Sun in Virgo

Sun in Virgo

An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for Virgo The ruler of Virgo is Mer... Read more

Positive SSL
© 2008-2019 CrystalWind.ca. Site Creation by CreativeInceptions.com.
X

Right Click

No right click