Is a Divine Relationship Possible?

Participant 3: Is a relationship possible if both partners forget all the past?

We call that a divine relationship.

Participant 3: Hey who are you? (laughing) Hi, all of the time. It's like a new person.

But they are. You are not the same as you were yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that. Every day, every moment you are a new person. So is your partner.

Stories vs. the Present Moment

The more tightly that you hold on to your story and the one you have assigned to your partner, the less able you are to notice the present you or the present him. You have already decided what you like and don't like about that person.

Instead of living with the person who is present with you, you are now having a relationship with a projection from your mind. The partner is just being there. You don't know who they are.

Look and see what presents itself in this moment. He doesn't do anything to you. Doing just happens. Your mind wants to give meaning to everything. You can notice when you are doing that.

Participant 3: But it's good sometimes. If the person throws cold water on me and I want warm water, then I need to remove myself from them. It's good to know that it is cold water again and not to expect something else from this person.

Who is giving them the label of cold-water thrower?

The Cold Water Metaphor – Projection at Work

Participant 3: Yes, it's cold for me.

That means that wherever you go you will likely get cold water. It may look warm at first, but sooner or later it will feel like cold water. It is you, not the partner, who is giving meaning here.

Let's say that you are absolutely in the now, no past and no future. How can water be cold? (laughter) Something is experienced as unpleasant because the thought is there that this is not what you want to be here.

Just for fun, let’s say that you are undifferentiated God and you have the inspiration to find out what water feels like. You have never experienced the physical so you manifest a body and water and jump into it. Would you say that the water is warm or cold? You would have nothing to compare it to. It is just the sensation of water in this now.

You can only evaluate temperature if you have a story from another time. Since everyone has their own story no two people will absolutely agree about the comfort of the same water.

Participant 3: I'm confused. If I'm choosing someone to be with, and he's treating me with cold water, and I keep letting it be, then I'm not being good to myself.

Are you absolutely certain that you have been doing this choosing? Did you choose to meet this person whom you had never met before?

Participant 3: It just happened. If he asks me out again after the cold water I can say yes or no. If I'm good with cold water, I can say yes.

But your saying of yes or no is based on your story. Did you choose your story? How far back does this cold water run in your story? Has it happened more than once?

Noticing the Story and Letting Go

Participant 3: I see how I feel when someone is caring and when they are not caring. It's a mix of many stories.

It's just your story. It has nothing to do with him. If you let yourself believe that it is about them, you will meet the same story over and over because it is your story. Your relationship is just the intersection of your stories.

Participant 3: So, what do I do?

Notice when you are in a story. Saying that he is throwing cold water on you is a story.

All that you can do is to notice your projection and let go of believing your story about it. The story is that you are a victim of jerks who throw cold water. Now you are the heroine, virtuous but long suffering.

You can stand up for yourself, but the scenario merely repeats. The mind takes these things so seriously. But they are not true. None of the story is true.

Participant 3: Is it about loving yourself? About wanting to be loved?

That's a story too. Loving or not loving yourself is a story. It might be closer to truth to simply say you are love, or love is. There is nothing but love. It is all one.

The mind thinks that perfection is somewhere else, that it's not here. It's always looking for someone or some place else and can't see what is here. Love is here now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit