Category: Brenda Hoffman: Life Tapestry Written by Brenda Hoffman
Many of your new feelings and actions are uncomfortable because they are unfamiliar elements of your emotional being. Elements that might include pettiness, quick anger or dismissal, illogical (in your 3D mind) thoughts or actions – or any number of new being activities you are testing.
Your seemingly erratic behavior is not necessarily pleasant to experience or observe – you may even feel isolated. Your actions are not wrong, merely part of discovering who you are and what you are capable of.
You are entirely different from the being you were comfortable with in your outer-directed life. So you might say, “No,” even though you once said, “Yes.” You might befriend someone you would not have been comfortable with before. Or numerous changes you do not expect and cannot understand.
New you is as surprising to you as it is to those around you.
Your true being is shining through in ways never before experienced because your reactions are more nimble and faster than ever before while of the earth. At the same time, you are experiencing reactions aligned with your new being, but not necessarily with the you others are familiar with.
Your world is topsy turvy both internally and externally – leaving you confused, upset, pleased, and amazed at who you are becoming. Something similar likely happened when you were a young teen. You needed to be you despite parental, school, or community guidelines. A you often created through peer acceptance.
Now you have no peers. Each of you is functioning independently with an overriding quest for self-love.
A quest that often leads you to new people and places. You are an independent being within the whole. The closest analogy is that you are a muscle cell of the earth totality, and other inner-directed beings are skin, hair, organ cells, etc. Even though each of you is an essential part of the earth’s totality, none of you has the same role.
You are all moving to or already enmeshed in self-love to the point where you can easily function in your crucial role. No one is more or less important than another, for all must work together to create the new whole that is love-based earth.
The difference between an outer-directed or inner-directed life is that an outer-directed being needs both followers and to follow. Individuality is discarded in favor of sameness. So returning to our analogy, all outer-directed beings would want to be or try to be a skin cell, and no one would want to associate with those radical muscle cells.
No one wishes to be like anyone else in your new world, for with self-love, your individuality becomes more important than following others. And those who try to enfold you into their camp of sameness will seem weak and boring.
You are discovering your strengths one odd phrase or action after another, for this is your self-test time much as you might test a microphone before using it for a speaking engagement. You are not like anyone. A new sensation that seems awkward because you are not used to standing out, to being different.
You might reply that outer-directed politicians, movie stars, innovators, etc., made their fortunes and future by being different. We, of the Universes, beg to differ. Even though they were unique actors during the earth’s outer-directed phase, they did so because they understood the cutting edge of what was logically going to happen.
You and other inner-directed beings have no idea what will happen, for your actions and reactions are the results of your inner voice. That new part of you that has never been before while of the earth. Even though the outcome will be a loved-based society of unique individuals, those individuals – including you – are not yet completely formed.
Your outer-directed society told you that the terrible-twos and erratic teens would settle into this or that. You do not have that information now. You merely have a broad understanding that the final result will be a love-based unique experience. Something you cannot yet envision, especially when you find yourself snapping at a friend or relative and noting their hurt expression. Or, they do something similar to you.
You are all searching for your core being without necessarily knowing how to find it. So you may be saying or doing things that seem erratic, but instead are merely a search for yourself independent of who others feel you should be.
This is not an easy time, but just as was true in your young teen years, you will find yourself in ways you cannot now imagine – not what society or your peers demand, but what your inner-being needs. And you will do so minute by minute, instead of week by week, or even day by day.
Allow yourself to evolve as you need to and allow the same for others. So be it. Amen.
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