Written by Nimue Brown
For me, the single most attractive quality a person can possess, is kindness.
My philosophical views – which are a facet of my Druidry – very much shape how I respond to other people. The qualities I find appealing in others very much reflect what’s important to me as a Druid.
Wisdom is an attractive quality in a person, as is creativity and playfulness. I am drawn to people who like to think and reflect, and who live their lives in considered ways. I value honesty, integrity, emotional availability, self awareness, courage, curiosity and passion. Of course a person doesn’t have to be a Druid to either possess or value these qualities, but for me these are ways of being that very much align with Druidry.
When it comes to physical attraction, what draws me most is the quality of a person’s presence – people who are engaged with what’s around them thinking and feeling keenly and actively present are particularly attractive. I’m more likely to be captivated by how someone moves than by their body shape. I’m not especially interested in the things a person has no control over – height, gender, eye colour, build – these things tell me nothing of who a person is. My notions of beauty have far more to do with how a person chooses to present themselves and the things they do have control over.
Further to that, I’m very aware of what I find beautiful in the rest of nature, and that’s really broad. I’ve come to relate to people much as I do to trees. I like unusual faces, people who are striking and very much themselves, rather than people who construct facades. I’d rather an expressive, furrowed brow than Botox smoothness (different if you need it for medical reasons of course). We are shaped by the lives we live, and I like that about us.
Attraction is relevant in many – perhaps all – aspects of our lives. How we treat people is all too often informed by whether we find them attractive, regardless of what we’re actually doing with them. Humans aren’t reliably good at making rational decisions, we’re often swayed by our emotional responses. Those emotions are so easily coloured by what we feel when we look at another person. As Druids this might also impact us in terms of who we want to learn from and work with – whether we want someone glamorous to guide us, or if we’re looking for other qualities. Some Druids are really glamorous and some are not, and this may not be a good way to assess the value of what anyone has to teach.
Being more aware of all that, and more deliberate about how we respond to people is well worth a thought. There’s much to learn about yourself when contemplating what you find attractive and why that works for you, and that’s always worth investing time in, too.
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