Category: Emotional Energies Written by Sophia Smith
Going through a divorce is either the best thing that’s going to happen in your life, or the worst. Of course, it’s all about the situation you’re going through and whether you enjoyed your marriage or not. Still, no matter how you felt, it’s only natural to feel emotional when going through these things. But, you have to face your emotions and deal with them, so here are some of the most common reactions and emotional stages you might be going through when getting divorced.
Facing the facts
It doesn’t matter if you’re the one initiating the divorce or your spouse, you have to face the facts before you can do anything else. Coming to terms with this decision is sometimes harder than having to make it, which is why so many people feel blindsided and deceived by their partner. Their decision could shock you, so it’s quite normal for you to feel surprised. But, before you do that, you need to understand what’s going on and find out why your spouse decided to ask for a divorce. Talk to them, if possible, and find out what’s going on – you’re going to need all the information you can get, so learning the facts asap is crucial.
Once you’ve understood your spouse’s reason for a divorce, you could easily feel shocked and taken aback with this decision. This is quite common for people who believe they’re in a perfect marriage, but actually aren’t. These people feel a range of emotions – from rage and panic to detachment and anger – because they weren’t ready for such an outcome. Still, you need to remember that feeling these things is quite all right and quite common – after all, that just shows you have feelings for your spouse and that you didn’t expect divorce. Dealing with these emotions will help you understand your new situation and you’ll start thinking clearly after that.
Once you understand what’s happening and come to terms with your divorce, it’s time to pull yourself together. Rationalizing the entire situation might not always be the best way to go, but it’s a necessary step on your path towards feeling good once again. Talk to people who understand you and are on your side – this will help you see your divorce from a different perspective, which is always good. You should also talk to professionals who can help you in the court of law – those experienced family lawyers from Sydney, for instance, know that divorce is tough on everyone and therefore offer you counseling every step of the way. This is something we all need in these situations, so talking to professionals is always a great idea.
If you’re the person initiating the divorce, this is the moment when you start feeling better than ever. Being stuck in a bad marriage is one of the worst things in the world, and getting out of it will help you feel better. You’ll blossom, both emotionally and mentally, and start feeling euphoric. These feelings are accompanied with a sense of relief – you’ll finally be able to breathe again and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Still, try to control your euphoria as much as possible because you don’t want to turn your life into a rollercoaster. Mood swings are quite common with people going through a divorce, so try to stay calm and rational.
This is arguably the most difficult stage when dealing with a divorce. Whether you want it to happen or not, you might feel bad for your partner, your kids, and the time you’ve invested in your marriage, and therefore might start having second thoughts. But, once you realize that there’s no going back and that getting divorced is the best thing that could happen to you, you’ll start accepting your fate. Acceptance might take some time – you could even finish your divorce process before you start feeling this way – but it’s going to make you feel awesome, so it’s worth the wait. Only after you honestly accept your fate and understand that this is a good thing for you will actually start feeling good.
In the end, once your divorce is done, it’s time to dedicate some time to yourself! No matter how long you’ve been married, you’re probably been defining yourself as a part of a married couple, and now it’s time to change that paradigm. Finding new hobbies, making new friends, exploring new interests, and visiting new places are just some of the things you could do once you’re divorced. You should try to help yourself feel better using any methods that work –meditating, practicing yoga, getting a massage, and hanging with your friends will do wonders for your psyche and make you feel amazing. You should also create a new relaxation spot at your own home and spend some time there, chilling and doing nothing else.
Getting a divorce is hard, but doing it in a bad way is even worse. So, check out these six emotional stages and find a way to move from one to the next without losing your mind and jeopardizing your well-being.
Sophia Smith is beauty and style blogger, an eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and a DIY enthusiast. She is very passionate about natural skincare, minimalist wardrobe, yoga and mindful living. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Eco Warrior Princess, Viva Glam Magazine, How to Simplify and Carousel.
This article was submitted exclusively to CrystalWind.ca by Sophia Smith
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