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The Long Journey from Having, to Doing, to Being

the long journey from having to doing to being

The long journey from Having, to Doing, to Being starts right from the moment of our birth. And it is our responsibility to return to our Being by remembering who we truly are at the Core and live our lives the way we were intended to live – in Truth, in Love, in Peace, in Joy, and in Fulfilment.

From a young age, we are programmed to believe that Doing equates with Having, and that Having Equates with Being – Happy, Fulfilled, Loved, Worthy, Loved, Confident, Peaceful. And unfortunately, because the majority of people never dare to question whether this is true for them or not, they spend their entire lives Doing and Having as much as they possibly can, hoping that by doing so they will fill up the emptiness they feel within their hearts.

From Having to Doing – The Trap of Having

“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.” ~ Carl.G. Jung

I personally didn’t have much of anything while growing up. And since so many kids at school and on the playground were being mean to me because of it, I honestly thought there was something seriously wrong with not Having.

I honestly believed that in order for you to Be more, you needed to Have more. And so, I started wanting.

I wanted so many things – so many strange and meaningless things. And when the time came for me to Have many of them, I honestly thought I was going to be the happiest person alive.

I thought my whole life will change just because I could finally Have a lot.

But I wasn’t.

“We are shallow because we have become enslaved by gross materialism, the glitter of gold and its equivalents, for which reason we think that only the material goods of this earth can satisfy us and we must, therefore, grab as much as can while we are able.” ~ F. Sionil Jose

I bought one thing after another – clothes, shoes, bags, makeup, home accessories, books, and all sorts of things I thought I needed to buy in order for me to feel the things I never felt while growing up – happy, worthy, seen, loved, valued, etc.

But none of it could fill the enormous hole in my heart.

None of it could make me feel like I was enough – good enough, valuable enough, lovable enough, beautiful enough.

“So you keep trying to fill this with worldly things. But you have to fill it with something that’s as big as the hole itself. And there’s only one thing in this universe that’s as big as that empty hole…” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“It was alarming, how humans could spend entire lifetimes engaged in all kinds of activities, without getting any closer to knowing who they really were, inside.” ~ Jess C. Scott

You might not realize this, but we are constantly telling lies…

We lie when we tell ourselves that without Having, we cannot Be – happy, at peace, content, loved, loving, worthy, enough;

We lie when we tell our children that in order for them to become ‘somebody’ they need to Do and Have certain things, experiences, behaviors, etc.;

We lie when we think to ourselves that we can’t be loved unless we Do or Have more than we already Do and Have.

We are constantly lying. And the sad thing about it is that we don’t even realize we’re doing this. 

My Endless Search

“The territorialism and desire to possess things come directly from the ego, which strives to own and control things. Your spirit already knows you own nothing. It is a matter of realizing that your happiness does not depend on your ownership of things. They help you on your journey but they are not the journey itself.” ~ Karen Kingston

I was programmed to think that I needed to Have more in order for me to Be more. And so I went on this search of Having.

I accumulated as many things as I possibly could. And even though the whole world assured me that in their Having, I’d find my Being, that never happened!

And so, I went on a different path.

From Doing to Being

“The person who suffers from inner poverty is relentlessly driven to accumulate on the material level.” ~ David R. Hawkins

Since the possession of material things didn’t bring me the state of bliss I was so desperately looking for, I decided to look for it elsewhere.

That’s how I entered the world of Doing.

I did as much as I possibly could – I changed lives, I wrote viral inspirational posts, I did meaningful work, I spoke great words to big crowds, I wrote a beautiful book, I appeared on TV – hoping that in Doing I was going to find my Being.

But I didn’t.

Resting in Your Being after a Long Journey

For as long as I can remember I have searched for my Happiness, my Love, my Worth, and my sense of Belongingness outside of me. And the more I searched, the more alone, lost, unworthy, and unhappier I felt.

“You wander from room to room Hunting for the diamond necklace That is already around your neck!” ~ Rumi

I searched in vain.

And in my desperate need to prove to everyone that I am Here and that I am Worthy, I failed to recognize that all the Love, Joy, Peace, Happiness, and Approval I have been seeking Out was already present Within me!

“Spiritual evolution occurs as the result of removing obstacles and not actually acquiring anything new.” ~ David R. Hawkins

I know this world is constantly asking us to look outside ourselves for all the things we think are missing from our lives. But I am here to tell you that you will never find what you truly need Out there. 

Nothing outside of you could ever fulfill you. Nothing outside of you could ever bring you the long-lasting joy, peace, love, happiness, and fulfillment you truly need and deserve.

If you want to find True Joy, Love, Worth, Love, and Happiness, you have to look deep into your heart and realize that Having and Doing have nothing to do with you Being – Happy, Worthy, Loved, Whole, Peaceful, Fulfilled, etc. 

You are Worthy because that’s how Life created you to be.

You are Loved because Love is the Truth of who you are.

You are Whole because there is nothing about you lacking.

You are Peace because that’s what your Heart and Soul are made of.

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” ~ Hafiz

I know you were taught to fear your own Being. And I know that fear is the reason behind your constant wanting – to Have and Do as many things as possible. But you have to understand that you were created Whole and Complete, and no matter how many things you accumulate, and no matter how many wonderful things you will Do, you will never become more than what you already are.

You are already Whole.

You are already Enough.

You are already all the Love you seek for in others.

And if you want the world to See you, to Love you, and Value for who you truly are (which is absolutely normal), you’ll need to learn to go back to the core of your Being and create all things from a place of Truth, of Love, of Light, and Integrity – no longer from a place of lack. And you’ll need to learn to craft your life on a strong foundation. Because even though there is nothing wrong with Having and Doing, there is something seriously wrong in equating your Being with Having and Doing.

“That’s not the beginning of the end. That’s the return to yourself. The return to innocence.” ~ Enigma

~love, L

Luminita d. Saviuc
Luminita, the founder of purposefairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 things you should give up to be happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 things you should give up to be happy, book that will be published by penguin random house in march 2016. For more details check out the about page.
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