A+ A A-

Why I Want to Stop Being Nice

Why I Want to Stop Being Nice

For most of my life I have held a deep desire to be nice. I’m not exactly sure where that intention was sparked within me, but I think the virtue was likely ingrained in me as a child. “You must always be nice”, “be a nice person”, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. I truly worked so hard at being nice, it felt almost like a competition to me, how could I become the “nicest” person I know.

About a week ago, I was having a conversation with my mom, and I made a comment about being nice, and in an unusually terse tone, she asked me, “what do you mean by nice? what does the word nice mean to you?” Her questions stopped me in my tracks, because in my whole life I had never considered what “nice” really meant. I just felt like I had to embody it, as if it was some universally sought after trait. It’s what “good girls” do. I gathered from her tone, though, that my mom didn’t really hold the word “nice” in high regard, which shocked me. So I naturally, looked up the word nice in the dictionary to find the following definition: pleasing, agreeable.

I was pretty shocked to see that, to be completely honest, because certainly, being pleasing and agreeable are not the foundational values I tend to hold in my life, but as I began to look closely at my life for 33 years, it’s definitely played out that way.

Holding so tightly the intention of “being nice” has shown up as:

  • people pleasing
  • compromising of my values and beliefs
  • inconveniencing my life for someone or something else
  • keeping quiet about things that matter to me for fear of confrontation
  • inauthentic interactions and relationships
  • shallow conversation
  • wasting of valuable time in said shallow conversations
  • making false promises
  • lacking of boundaries
  • poor communication
  • loss of sense of self

As you can imagine, these aren’t really habits, behaviors, and experiences I wish to continue in my life. Which left me feeling challenged to redefine this guiding intention of my life. I no longer wish to be “nice”, so what do I truly wish to be?

I pulled out the dictionary again to see what words resonated, and these are the ones that truly stick for me:

  • kind: of a good or benevolent nature or disposition
  • compassionate: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it
  • caring:feeling or showing concern for or kindness to others 

These three words feel so much better and much more aligned for me! I can vividly see how these words will play out in my life, in a healthier and more meaningful way, which I’m so excited about.

Is there an overarching intentional word in your life that’s no longer serving you? What will you replace it with? I can’t wait to find out.

xo,

Michelle

logo2Michelle Maros is Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life's Creative Director and resident writer. She has a degree in Journalism from Indiana University and is also a certified holistic health coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and registered yoga teacher with trainings with Anuttara Yoga Shala and Strala Yoga. Michelle has a deep desire to help people find happiness in all areas of their lives, and truly believes the Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life movement will bring lasting change to the world. Michelle splits her time between Florida and New York City and loves connecting with people from all over the world. If you'd like to contact her, she can be reached at 
Source Here

CrystalWind.ca is free to access and use.
Please donate a small gift of $11.11 or $22.22 or $33.33. 
Thank you! 
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
"Life is an echo, what you send out comes back."

© 2008-2020 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.

  Please buy us a coffee!
 
 
Pin It

Featured Writers

Featured This Month

Page:

Turquoise

Turquoise

The Master Healer Stone As a blue stone with a hint of green, turquoise wor... Read more

Obsidian

Obsidian

The Protection Stone As a stone that emerges with dramatic force from the d... Read more

November 16 - The Night of Hecate

November 16 - The Night of Hecate

November 16 is the Night of Hecate which begins at sunset. This is the night... Read more

Birth Totem - Owl

Birth Totem - Owl

Birth Totem Owl Birth dates: November 23 - December 21 Birth Totem: Owl C... Read more

Long Snows Moon

Long Snows Moon

Elk – Obsidian – Black Spruce – Black November 22 to December 21 The Long ... Read more

Twas The Night Before Yuletide

Twas The Night Before Yuletide

Yule Chant Brightly burns the Yule log tonight Magic dances in firelight Ho... Read more

Yule By The Hedgewitch

Yule By The Hedgewitch

Yule Yule is a solar festival and one of the Minor Sabbats. This is when th... Read more

Sun in Sagittarius

Sun in Sagittarius

An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for Sagittarius At the heart of Sagit... Read more

Sagittarius Mythology

Sagittarius Mythology

The Sagittarius Myth Other than Virgo, the Sagittarius myth is probably the... Read more

Yule

Yule

Yule Ritual Celebrated on the Winter Solstice, around December 21 each year.... Read more

Knight's Code of Conduct

Knight's Code of Conduct

While it is difficult to find precise rules laid down for the conduct of a k... Read more

How to Use a Pendulum

How to Use a Pendulum

Pendulums are one of the easiest and quickest ways to perform divination. Pe... Read more

Meaning and "Legend" Of The White …

Meaning and "Legend" Of The White Deer

Meaning of a White Deer The Native Americans believed the occurance of a wh... Read more

The Elder Tree - November 25 - December 22

The Elder Tree - November 25 - December 22

The Winter Solstice ( Alban Arthuan ) Celtic Symbol : The Black Horse Or Th... Read more

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21 Spirit: Meeting competition Ego: Independent, studious, in... Read more

© 2008-2020 CrystalWind.ca. Site Creation by CreativeInceptions.com.
X

Right Click

No right click