You Don't Need To Over-Give or Explain Yourself

Monday, 12 September 2022 Written by Matt Kahn

Imagine sitting at a restaurant as the server shares the daily special. Upon hearing its description, you choose the consistently good entrée you typically order.

After taking your order, the server asks, “Why didn’t you choose the daily special? I mean, it’s special. How is it supposed to feel special if it's not constantly chosen?” You politely respond, “Well, it just didn’t speak to me like this entrée always does.” Your server then asks, “So what's lacking in you that causes you to not want today’s special?”

I’m sure this has never happened to you, but this example shows in ridiculous manner the no-win situation you may find yourself in when someone constantly demands an explanation from you.

Here’s the liberating news, while you are free to share any feedback you wish to provide, you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your intention, motive, circumstance, or outcome on any level.

No person who truly has your highest evolution in mind needs or asks for an explanation. They are too busy honoring your place in their life and your role in theirs to ever question what is undoubtedly the right choice for you, whether or not it is right or resonant for others involved.

Simply put, when you allow yourself to be put in a position to regularly defend your position and explain your choices, you are giving someone else permission to drain you of the inner power you are afraid to embrace and own.

Whether you are interacting with narcissistic qualities, vampire patterning, or the archetype of a hungry ghost, you are drained in the presence of such unconsciousness due to the power they possess to make you believe explaining yourself is somehow necessary. All the while, with each reason offered and explanation given, you are more so apologizing for being who you are, which creates space for doubt, fear, scarcity, and shame to distort your perception and dysregulate your emotional field.

You can be loving, compassionate, and empathetic to anyone’s needs or traumas, open to hearing their pains, and holding space for the unfolding of any degree of sorrow without needing to over-give or explain yourself for the choices made along the uniqueness of your life’s path. This is the heart of autonomy.

Order what you wish from the menu of life and cherish the journey it provides. And, please enjoy this newsletter and the gifts of clarity and empowerment it is here to provide.

All for Love,

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