Let me start this article with a true story.

An old man, a petty shop owner, rented out a portion of his house, but the tenant, who was just an ordinary labourer in some government department, refused to vacate it after the agreed period of lease.

In India, the only rule that works is corruption, contacts with politicians, police, bureaucracy and muscle power. It is very difficult to evict a tenant from the house unless they themselves leave it.

The house owner, being a very ordinary person, had no such resource. So, he could not get house vacated and obviously felt weak, helpless and demoralized.

One day the house owner’s 5/6 year old son was playing cricket with the tenant’s son in front of the house. By chance as the owner was coming to the house at that time, the cricket ball batted by the tenant’s son hit his face causing severe pain.

Enraged by the searing pain caused by sudden hit, the man slapped the boy. Just as he did so, the tenant, who was emerging from the house, came running and slapped and boxed the house owner calling him all sorts of dirty names.

Old, weak and timid as the house owner was, he started crying aloud instead of retaliating. Hearing his voice, his wife came out of the house and took him inside with their humiliated and crestfallen son following his parents.

Strangely enough, when the wife and the son questioned his wisdom of slapping the tenant’s son, since he was only a child and had not directed the ball at him intentionally, the man vented out his anger by abusing and hitting his wife and his son.

Even otherwise too, he had been beating his wife and son since a long time on petty excuses. For example, when once he came to know that his son had visited his friend's house without his permission he gave him a severe thrashing in presence of two guests who had just arrived. He also thrashed his wife whenever she dared to argue with him or came to her son’s rescue.

Coming back to eviction of the tenant, the man sought the help of every person he knew, policemen, musclemen and officials in the concerned government department, but all of them extorted money from him and did nothing.

And the tenant stayed put in the house for nearly a decade grinding grains on the house owner's chest, as it were. He was so emboldened that he almost stopped paying the rent at all.

There was nothing the old man his family could do except pray to God for help.

Luckily God or destiny did listen to their prayers. One day as the tenant and his son were coming home from the market, they were fatally hit by a speeding truck and died on the spot. His wife had no option, but to leave the house for her parent’s home at some another city.

The old man heaved a sigh of relief and never dared to rent his house again. He, however, continued his atrocious behavior with his son and wife.

Meanwhile the son grew older, passed the school, obtained a clerical job in a private company, got married after 3/4 years to a government school teacher having a permanent and secure job. The couple bore two children. His old parents died after a few years.

One might tend to think that this was a happy end to the story. But how could it be with the mental state of the sensitive but timid son?

He has suffered insults and humiliations since his childhood and is now a moral wreck. He is devoid of any vestiges of self-confidence and self-esteem. He not only himself suffers from all the problems that most people in this category do, but his family too is distressed and distraught on account of him.

Let us delve a bit more deeply on the impact of such events on the life of an ordinary person with reference to what happened to the son.

A little digression:

We have read innumerable stories and watched countless films of sons growing out to be angry, revengeful, and bullying types in such circumstances.

How many stories have you read or movies you have watched whose central characters are awkward looking, poorly dressed, sensitive, withdrawn, introvert and above all timid and, therefore, diffident, regretful, repentant, shy, indecisive and weak? It is because the stories of violence and revenge make an interesting reading and sell more.

Coming back to the main issues:

People with negative impressions suffer from these infirmities since their childhood and continue to be until the end of their life. The primary reason is that they are constantly haunted by the memories and visions of the past.

The truth is that every time they remember the past, they experience the same feelings of fear, pain, humiliation and trauma that they suffered during the events that generated them. One wonders if the painful memories of the past do not leave them or they, themselves, do not wish to leave them.

Or, is it because they derive some kind of masochistic pleasure by inflicting punishment upon themselves for their lapses?

Their bruised ego does not appear to let them forgive themselves.

And what kind of symptoms does a person feel in such terrifying situations? We don’t have to refer to the medical literature to know them. Almost each one of us has experienced them at one time or another in our life.

Some of the common symptoms are sweating profusely, having churning sensations or motions in the bowels, faster heartbeat, tightening of muscles, faltering, stammering and confusion.

But what about the people like the central character, the son in the above mentioned story?

They become obsessed with their past life- always gloomily brooding over it. Howsoever hard they may try to forget their fears, failures, missed opportunities, humiliations, embarrassments or other inconvenient situations it becomes difficult, almost impossible for them to do so.

Whenever there is nothing better to do or more engrossing for their attention, they revert to their past and start brooding over it. It becomes a kind of favorite pastime.

What are the effects of such obsession with the past on the life of the person?

• They cannot focus on issues that are important for the moment with the result that they cannot address them adequately.
• They lose their confidence and self-esteem, essential requirements for peace of mind.
• They cannot adjust properly in professional, social, business and family life.
• They cannot dare to look into the eyes of their interlocutors. They tend to stammer while talking especially during emergent situations.
• They keep talking to people in their imagination, sometimes, audibly, other times just through lip-movement, with their eyes dilated and fixed into some distant space and time attracting curious eyes.
• They tend to falter as they walk on smooth paths even though their eye sight is normal.
• They don’t hear properly if someone calls them out. They are always afraid, apprehensive, cautious about every person, every situation.
• They tend to lose their memories, forget the names, days, dates and important events in their daily life.

Changes in physiological and psychological functions

Here are some excerpts from the views of medical experts detailing the physiological and psychological changes caused by constant obsession with the fearful events of the past.

1. Frequent bouts of diarrhea and urination

People are likely to suffer frequent bouts of diarrhea and urination. This happens because “a combination of all your body systems goes into overdrive and moves more quickly than normal causing your body to lighten itself by emptying the bladder. Additionally, your body sends blood away from the digestive tract, causing it to spasm, resulting in diarrhea.”

2. Shut/slowdown of the survival functions of the body

Once we sense a potential danger, our body releases hormones that slow or shut down functions not needed for survival (such as our digestive system) and sharpen functions that might help us survive (such as eyesight). Our heart rate increases, and blood flows faster to muscles. Our body also increases the flow of hormones to an area of the brain known as the amygdala to help us focus on the presenting danger and store it in our memory.

3. Rational thinking impaired

Once the fear pathways are ramped up, the brain short-circuits more rational processing paths and reacts immediately to signals from the amygdala. When in this overactive state, the brain perceives events as negative and remembers them that way.

It also stores all the details surrounding the danger—the sights, sounds, odors, time of day, weather, and so forth. These memories tend to be very durable in the long run.

Later, the sights, sounds, and other contextual details of the event can become stimuli themselves and trigger fear.

They may bring back the memory of the fearful event, or they may cause us to feel afraid without consciously knowing why. Because these cues were associated with previous danger, the brain may see them as a predictor of threat.

4. Damage to the brain

Fear can impair formation of long-term memories and cause damage to certain parts of the brain, such as the hippocampus. This can make it even more difficult to regulate fear and can leave a person anxious most of the time. To someone in chronic fear, the world looks scary and their memories confirm that.

Moreover, fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. All of these effects can leave us unable to act appropriately.

5. Sweating

Sweating is your body's common reaction to fear. It's caused because adrenaline brings blood to the skin's surface, causing the pores to open and allowing sweat to pour out. This is in response to your body's natural desire to run from dangerous situations.

An article in "Psychosomatics," the magazine of The Academy of Psychosomatic Medicine, suggests that fleeing is your body's response to fear, occurring before the fight response. Sweating facilitates that response, whether or not you actually flee.

6. Rapid heartbeat

You may describe the rapid heart rate associated with fear as feeling like your heart is going to explode; but, in fact, your heart is just working diligently to provide as much blood as possible to help your body deal with the fear. An article at ChangingMinds.org reports that the amount of blood pumped by your heart increases fivefold during the fear response.

7. Weakness

Weakness is sometimes a fear response, causing your body to be unable to move or to move only with wobbly knees. This is because of the "fright" response, which causes your body to want to play dead in an effort to make it unappetizing to a predator. Weakness will usually occur only after flight and fight responses are in place and your body has perceived them to not be working.

8. Insecurity

Insecurity nearly always causes some degree of isolation as a typically insecure person withdraws from people to some extent. The greater the insecurity, the higher the degree of isolation becomes. Insecurity is often rooted in a person's childhood years. Like offense and bitterness, it grows in layered fashion, often becoming an immobilizing force that sets a limiting factor in the person's life.

9. Lack of confidence

A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future.