The Problem Isn’t Men
- Details
- Written by Marguerite Rigoglioso

So Why Does It Sometimes Feel Like It?
I’ll be candid with you… in the past, I had a real lot of anger toward men. I can’t really be blamed for that. I grew up in patriarchy, after all. There are so many ways in which, as a woman, you can feel downtrodden, diminished, and denigrated in our out-of-balance world.
And then there was my father… who went missing emotionally after the death of my mother and his remarriage. It’s June, and in the US, that means “Father’s Day.” It’s not the happiest of days for me, and I know I’m not alone in that.
So many women in our society personally suffer either abandonment or abuse… Two ends of the same patriarchal poll.
And what is patriarchy? In my book, patriarchy is the orchestration of controller forces that go well beyond human men. The perpetrators are those beings who are largely cloaked… unless you develop eyes to see.
Understanding this can help us realize that our brothers, husbands, fathers, sons, and other males in our lives are not the cause of the misery on the planet. Sometimes it seems like they’re getting the better deal, but they’re really not. They are as victimized as women, just in different ways.
When men act in hurtful ways, it’s coming from the same place that all hurtful behavior does wounding from trauma.
Knowing that there are also benevolent Masculine powers can help. My go-to’s are Jesus, Asclepius, and Dionysus. Each of these beings brings great healing, and connecting with them can be especially transformative for women.
Coming to compassionate witnessing of the men in our lives, however difficult they have been with us, is a critical part of spiritual advancement. It doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or “going back to live with” a pain-in-the-ass person. It just means taking a step back and seeing that there is a much bigger picture here.
When I work with people in intuitive healing sessions on this topic, my first order of business it to help my clients find ways to develop self-love and cultivate things that make them feel empowered. If they’re open to it, I call on the healing balm of Jesus, or Ascelpius, or Dionysus, all of whom are there, available, on the astral plane for just this kind of healing.
Once we come back to our own power, we can regard wounded men from a higher perspective, and that means we can make wiser choices in how we relate to them. It also means that we contribute to the releasing of the controller forces that have a grip on our planet.
Marguerite Rigoglioso, Ph.D., is the founding director of Seven Sisters Mystery School and a scholar/practitioner of the ancient Mediterranean mystery traditions. She is the author of The Cult of Divine Birth in Ancient Greece and Virgin Mother Goddesses of Antiquity, pioneering volumes emerging from her doctoral dissertation at the California Institute of Integral Studies that explore women's shamanic abilities in a (r)evolutionary new light. She teaches unique and leading-edge courses on the sacred feminine and women's spiritual leadership at the California Institute of Integral Studies, Sofia University (formerly Institute of Transpersonal Psychology), and Dominican University of California.
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