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Men And Emotions: The Legacy Of Patriarchy

men emotions

The emotional body is formed by unprocessed feelings and emotions. Feelings and emotions arise from personal experience. These also received and perceived from the collective experience. Everything is energy. Everything is connected. When not felt and processed, the energy produced remains stored in the body causing all sorts of automatic reactions, creating habits, patterns in behaviour and even influencing someone´s character and personality. The energetic legacy that a person can unknowingly carry is not limited to what they experienced in life, but also the legacy of centuries of patriarchy with everything that it entails. 

In many ways, the human being is a ´puppet´ to the emotional body. Feeling helps to process emotions, and through feeling one can find the source of the emotion, so as to separate from it. A memory, a situation of the past always finds triggers in the present bringing up the same uncomfortable emotion. There´s no escape from emotion. An unprocessed emotion will always come back.

As women are more expressive with their emotions, it´s popular belief that they hold the exclusivity. This is not only an illusion, but a convenient truth perpetuating the lie of the patriarch. Women are in touch with a wider array of emotions. It´s that simple.

Popular belief does not necessarily match the truth. In fact, currently there´s not much truth circulating the world, neither personal, nor collective while individuals and society lives imprisoned within the emotional body.

The energetic legacy can be understood from the perspective that everything -past, present and future- is here and now. It´s not so much that we´re dragging the heavy burden of a shameful history and bad education, but that we continue doing, thinking and believing centuries of indoctrination based on fear. 

It´s shocking, although not surprising, that in the era of information when truth can  be easily identified, humanity continues reinforcing a system that is obsolete, going against personal and collective interest. It´s no longer necessary for the elites to control the masses; we do it to ourselves.

The elites do as they please. We respond to everything by going on a tantrum on social media, displaying the attitude of the inner child. A child that has to be nurtured and loved if we want him and her to grow up. 

The common belief is that men are not emotional. There´s a degree of truth to the previous statement, as men are not taught to express or process their emotions, but to suppress them instead. This is, however, a trend that´s changing. From an early age, boys are encouraged to be strong and competitive, to be the best, to not cry, to man up, to deal with it. Everything that their parents couldn´t be, they have to become.

Tears, which are natural in a human being, whether male or female, are interpreted as a sign of weakness. This is another common belief. It´s no wonder that collective consciousness is at an all time low. Tears are healing, liberating, and intrinsic and natural vehicle in a human being on the path to freedom. 

We cry as children when facing a situation that separates us from the truth of the soul, somehow knowing and accepting that this is the way is going to be from then on. Eventually that child is so absorbed by the new reality that the only way to go along with it, is to block the emotion. Boys train themselves not to cry, so as to avoid being seen as weak; to try and prevent uncomfortable situations such as bullying or name calling. 

The pressure that a boy of a young age feels to be ´strong´ is unbearable, as well as destructive. Little by little, this boy would learn to suppress their emotions, separating from his true essence. The truth is that such interpretation has the opposite effect. It makes us weak. Inner strength always remains within, but being able to connect with it can prove to be a hard task. Men are not weak, we´ve been made to believe that we are.

A boy´s childhood can be compared to a boot camp, a period in which a child is merely trained to make it in the competitive world. Fortunately, this is also another trend that is changing. The pressure one is put under is not to be taken lightly or something that one can just "get over it". As a child learns to suppress feelings and emotions, he´s also learning to negate the best in themselves until all or most of their natural abilities are forgotten. 

In time such disconnection is represented by an unreal and ´weak´version of what this child could have been. It´s through feeling and processing emotions that one returns to rediscover the treasures everyone holds within. It´s never too late. 

Suppressing our natural abilities causes boys and men to focus on external, superficial expression. Everything becomes superficial. As we lose the connection with the core, the impression is that nothing and no one has depth, a soul, not even a heart. From this moment on, and as we hurt inside, we have a ´licence´ to hurt others. Natural empathetic abilities are lost, and as we can´t feel, the belief is that others can´t either. 

Living an unfeeling life, it´s no wonder how appallingly one human being can treat another.

The truth is that everyone hurts. Everyone is on the same boat. Everyone has a soul that is pushing through to come out once again to show the best of ourselves. Pain and suffering won´t stop to appear in the most uncomfortable ways until we reconnect with the inner truth once again, and by default with universal truth.  

Men are emotional like any human being. However, the emotional scope in men is limited to emotions that are socially acceptable to feel and express. The association with strong and aggressive emotions such as anger or rage might give the impression that men have disassociated from others such as shame, sadness. Yes, there are bouts of happiness or joy, but a person who´s permanently associated with anger cannot be a happy person. This applies equally to both men and women.

In order to avoid feelings of shame, abandonment or being not enough is usually covered up by anger, thus avoiding to deal with the real emotion and current situation. 

The figure of the angry man perfectly illustrates this point. This is a figure that has been elevated to a mythological status,  and which promotes more anger. The social validation of men, anger and the spontaneous reactions and consequences form a dangerous cocktail. Prisons are full of angry men, as graveyards are inhabited by the victims of such fear and anger.

It´s acceptable to be the ´angry man´ when our past has a trail of hardship, and by default understood as a natural cause in someone´s life. It´s not associated with an emotional state, but as a consequence of difficult life experiences. In the case of women, -rumour has it- they´re are always emotional, as women can move from anger to sadness to happiness within in a short period of time. It´s a way to process feelings and emotions faster. It doesn´t mean that women have learned to deal with their emotions in order to fully heal either. But how could they -or men or children for that matter- seeing how they´re treated feeling constantly threatened with anger, rape or violence? 

Men do not escape the constant threat either. Everyone is vulnerable. We just got used to it and deal with it in a different manner.

It´s ok to feel and express anger. Anger is a energy that when used creatively can bring extraordinary results. Many of the experiences both, men and women go through during childhood does not invite healthier feelings. Being angry is a sign that one is not enough. To feel that you are not enough is one thing, the truth is something different. You are enough. Everyone is enough. Whether you´re a man or a woman, you´re enough. 

Society´s validation or compliance with the figure of the angry man is the shameful legacy of patriarchy. An angry man that´s causing mayhem led by a set of false beliefs accepted as the only truth. The inner child only knows one truth, and it´s not a good one.

Reconnecting with the body:

In order to avoid emotions, men tend to process situations mentally, thus creating further disconnection between mind and body. In so many ways emotions are useless, as are our mindless reactions to them.

Avoiding emotions causes an energetic imbalance. Reacting with anger to every emotion produces the same effect. However, processing emotions allows everyone to return to their true essence. From an early age everyone is told that we´re not good enough and made to feel so. By accepting and continuing with the types of behaviour that at one point in childhood we knew to go against our true nature, not only we validate the statement that we´re not enough, we embrace and embody it. 

There´s a time in life in which one ought to take responsibility for who we are, and if we don´t like it, change it. It's time to stop blaming our parents, society and their entire world for our unsatisfactory lives. We are society. What every man has to be aware of is that their beliefs, thoughts, behaviour and actions are representative of the collective. Every man´s action is reflected on every other man across the world. As it is, any man has to make strenuous efforts in order to prove to the world that they can be trusted, to clear an image that has been tarnished by the behaviour of every man before we arrive to the place we´re now. 

Like everyone else I personally went through a long period in which I was made to believe that I was not enough. Even though since the moment of birth I´ve always felt complete, knowing that I was enough, there were times of doubt, low moods, despair, anger and rage, as I continued to listen to the oppressive noise of the world. 

Everything began to change when I realised that the noise of the world was merely an internal voice that I kept repeating to myself. As I got in touch with who I really am, I neither doubt myself, nor have the need to prove myself to anyone. When someone else´s doubt is thrown at and projected on me I respond with a powerful silence. If anything, the doubt of others serves me a compass that shows me where to remain or not.  

Having to prove ourselves to others due to the fears and insecurities of others only serves to deviate from who we are in order to please them. It´s offensive to my authenticity; an insult to my true essence. 

My thoughts, beliefs, behaviour and actions speak for themselves. I do not need to speak about it. I am, of course not perfect, nor I want to be. Nor I am better or worse that anyone else. Just different.

However much I´ve always identified with the knowing that this life is about being a better person, not a man or woman, I´m also aware that biologically I was born male. I am also every man, as you are. I´ve chosen what kind of man and person I am and want to be. What kind of man you are and decide to be, is up to you. Just know and remember that your actions and behaviour is projected on every other man, and that in itself is a great responsibility. 

It's exhausting to have to pay for the mistakes of others for the mere fact of sharing the same gender.

Every day we are face with multiple choices that determine whether we're authentic and true to our inner truth or we continue pleasing the dictate of the patriarch. it's hard to be authentic to our true nature in a world in which everyone seems to be offended. Taking offense is just another shield to avoid responsibility and emotion, so as to stay in the uncomfortable comfort zone.

For what's worth, many women lately are also choosing anger in order to avoid feeling and emotion. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their feeling and emotions or this is not going to end well. 

There's freedom within you, but you have to feel and probably cry your way to it. There's an easier path to freedom, and it's here: The Key To Abundance.

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