- The Lover Archetype Within Helps Us Create Happy Relationships -

Happy Valentine’s Day! Since this is a day dedicated to loving, affectionate relationships, it’s time for our yearly look at the archetype of The Lover, how projections create relationships, and the origin of Valentine’s Day. For now, let’s take a stroll down the Path of the Lover Archetype!

We began this journey Sunday and continued it yesterday, so if you haven’t read those pieces, please take the time before jumping into this one, or if you would rather do it the retrograde way, go ahead and read it after you read this. In them we discussed symptoms of seduction and why it’s a disaster which never leads to healthy relationships, the difference between courtship and seduction, navigating the pleasure-pain duality, how karma affects relationships, why we attract who we attract, and how to find healthy relationships.

I went more extensively into all of this material and more in my book The Magic of Venus: Friendships, Soul Mates, and Twin Flames. In it we explore all the factors in who we attract and why, both psychologically and astrologically. There are chapters on karmic dances we do with others, how to recognize unhealthy interactions, and what we’ve learned energetically in our dances with countless others throughout our lives. There are chapters on each sign’s archetypal mate qualities, and how our Venus position predisposes us to like some things and people and not others.

There are sections on our emotional cycles across time, how to turn away from unhelpful attractions and seductions, affirmations to attract our perfect mate, and hundreds of other astrological and psychological gems to help readers become clear about how to attract a true friend, Soul Mate, and eventually the Twin Flame. By consciously cultivating healthy relationships, we naturally attract people who will be good to us and for us, who we might have as a friend for the rest of our life. There’s an entire section devoted to Soul Mates, how to recognize them, and the important parts they play in our personal and interpersonal evolution. The book gives the reader the power to re-shape their likes in order to live a more fulfilling life in more joyous relationships.

For now, let’s explore some facets of our inner Lover archetype and why our emotional body functions as it does.

Valentines’ Day is the one day of the year dedicated to lovers, which is a great thing in itself. Picking up on themes introduced in previous articles, each of us has six different archetypal roles, or Grand Masques, which are the “faces” our personality shows to the world. The Lover is one of the six, and is the part of us which seeks relationship, whether with others, our Higher Self, or our dance with Spirit.

In Astrology, we find the 6 Great Archetypes in the 12 signs, which express as six axes of two signs each. The Axis of Aries/Libra is the Lover, which can also be called the Relator, since those signs are associated with the Axis of the “I-Thou” relational dance in our charts. I touch on the other 5 archetypes in The Magic of Venus: Friendships, Soul Mates, and Twin Flames, which are The Warrior/Guardian, the Magician/Questor, The Innocent/Primal, The King/Queen/Orphan, and The Priest(ess)/Healer/Shaman.

We discover our inner and outer Lover Archetype, and how we wear that Grand Masque (and the Grand Masques of the other Archetypes) through our interactions with others. All parts of who we are have a relationship with all the other parts of who we are, and all parts of us are impacted by the relationships we have with others. As we grow from infancy to adolescence into adulthood we learn to imitate our image of these Archetypes according to what we’ve learned and what appeals to our Anima, or subconscious mind.

As we learn to imitate various aspects of archetypes, they become fixed as images in our Astral (emotional) mechanism. Some of these are conscious, while others reside in the subconscious mind. That’s why often we don’t even know we’re being a certain way or acting out a certain unconscious role, until a) someone points out what we’re doing, or b) we have an electric moment when our Higher Self holds up the invisible mirror to our personality and it awakens to what it never saw before that moment.

Why We Like What We Believe We Like

The nature of subconsciousness, or the Astral mechanism, is to project what it likes into the world, as well as what it does not like, regardless of how reasonable or unreasonable those desires and feelings may be. Because we weren’t trained as children to evaluate our desires with an eye to our spiritual growth, we often found we “liked” something because we were taught to like it. Very few of us are taught to question what we like and why we like it, and so we cling to those projected desires until we awaken to our need to choose a different path.

Chasing a desire without knowing whether it’s good or bad for us is a symptom of how we’ve been seduced by the unconscious part of our personality. By taking a look at the part of us which always wants more of what it believes it “likes,” we can see how we were seduced into that desire by our childhood and early adult conditioning. Then we can understand how we have been holding on to our “likes,” and change the ones which are unhealthy.

Time is the means by which we measure our movement through experiences. With time and experience, our understanding of the material, emotional, mental, and spiritual planes of life evolves. As we evolve, we have both similar and different interactions with others in our world. Along the way we discover at each turn of life’s wheel that we continue to like some of what we used to like, do not like some of what we used to like, and have awakened to new things and people to like.

Our Eternal Lover is always open to interactive dances with those we meet along the road of life. However, often our subconscious Desire-Mind (Kama Manas) gets seduced by the “likes” of another, whether it’s good for us or not. How and why does this happen?

It is part of the human experience to project our likes onto our world, and we are the recipient of the projected likes of others. It begins with our parents’ verbal and nonverbal cues, where we learn that some things bring smiles and praise, while other behaviors, likes, and attitudes bring frowns and disapproval. These are powerful cues that influence our choices, both those that bring pleasure and those that bring pain.

Our path to spiritual maturity naturally leads us to be more conscious of our likes and dislikes and how these relate to the growth of our personality. We begin to spot unhealthy desires, and are able to note when we are swayed by the desires of another. As we learn to be our Higher Self in our interactions, we then can see what we express and others express as projections.

Once we become conscious of what moves our desires, we learn to be increasingly aware of our conscious and unconscious projections. Over time, we find we have the power in each moment to choose to turn our actions, feelings, and speech to a better interaction, freed of projections, expectations, and attachments to perceptions.

As we evolve consciously, we grow to see how not to be seduced by anything or anyone, and learn to make conscious choices that lead us to ever-greater states of happiness, joy, fulfillment, and occasionally true bliss. We no longer yield to the seductions of our lower self and others which used to pull us into discontent once our lower nature has embraced the courtship with our Higher Self. All our interactions, within and without, help us awaken to the greater Love we ARE. Everything in our lives points us toward ways to become the greater Love we seek with each dance step we take.

Ultimately, as offered earlier, the Lover is about the dance of courtship between the lower self and the Higher Self, and we play out this dance through relationships that mirror both of these parts of our inner nature. As we embrace the courtship of the Higher Self to bring our personality out of various forms of suffering, we can find a way to view all our relationships through the eyes of our inner Lover, and grow beyond the seductions that only cause us pain.

So How Did Valentine’s Day Come To Be?

We now segue into a brief and interesting history lesson about Valentine's Day, because it’s a good thing to honor the circumstances that brought our world to give a day to valuing lovers. That’s a strange notion in itself, given the barbarism of our world these past few thousand years.

Of course, being about a saint, it's a holiday of recent invention, originating in Rome. February 14 originally honored Juno, the Queen (who also happens to have an asteroid named after her, but that's another article for another time.) February 14 was the day before the Feast of Lupercalia, where children were allowed to pair up for the festival, and longer if they chose.

In a nutshell, Claudius II, the tyrant of the third century, needed soldiers, not lovers, so he cancelled marriages and engagements in Rome. Saint Valentine continued to marry people in secret, so Claudius chopped off his head on February 14. After that the church co-opted the Feast of Lupercalia, re-naming it Valentine's Day. And there you have it.

Last year Larry Ely found some data about the execution of St. Valentine. The history books give two dates a day or so apart, but the planets let us know the actual date. This was a public killing, so it was not done at night, but in as broadest daylight as events and the organizers would allow. I got the GMT (UT) from the rectified MC and the longitude of birth.

Date: February 14, 270 AD (Gregorian, New Style).
UT (GMT) 12:00:29 pm
LMT (if it had been used then; this is the time your software will ask for): 12:50:25 pm
Place: Rome, taken as 41n54 and 12e29 as exact.
MC: 4Pi38
AS: 29Ge42
Planets check: Sun 25Aq53
Moon: 15Ta36

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So for today and the next while, please take some time to review how throughout your life others have offered you healthy affection, and how you offered it to them as well. Consider all you have liked and loved, and everyone and everything that inspired you to give and receive your tender affections and a higher Love.

These were the times you were wearing the Grand Masque of the Lover, doing a timeless dance with a form of the beloved, and therefore yourself. We all like that which is beautiful to us, since it mirrors our own beauty. And exploring beauty is a very good thing. Happy Valentine's Day, you beautiful lovers who read this. You ARE the love you seek!

On a final note, please consider getting your copy of The Magic of Venus: Friendships, Soul Mates, and Twin Flames since it covers all we’ve discussed these past 3 days and more! It’s a journey (as one of my readers put it) “combining astrology, psychology, eastern philosophy, spirituality, metaphysics and life experience.” No matter what you think about Venus now, this book will change how you look at people in the future as you move into ever-more fulfilling relationships!

Reprinted on crystalwind.ca with written permission from Robert Wilkinson. Copying this article to other blogs is strictly prohibited. It is copyright protected. 

© Copyright 2023 Robert Wilkinson

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