Category: Intuitive Connections Written by Diane Kathrine Hits: 1355
How To Prevent It Impacting Your Life
There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.
Yes, the pain of criticism holds many of us back, for the simple reason it is human nature to avoid anything which causes pain.
But as the old saying goes: ‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’. And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing.
As a blogger, an author and an ‘active poster on Facebook’, I have come across my fair share of criticism. Some of it being quite harsh. And, I will not lie, it does not feel good.
I have often questioned why is it that I feel so disconcerted when someone insults me or criticises my work and the best answer I can come up with is because I care.
It is not that I am so much concerned about being ‘disliked’, but more that I don’t want to cause insult or feel I have hurt or offended another by my offerings or opinions. I also get a little rattled when someone has misread my intentions or made wrong assumptions about me or my work.
That said, I also know criticism can be a great learning tool. Especially in regard to anything work-related or creative. We are often too close to our own work to see where things could be improved. An honest, constructively critical eye can help us see what we were previously blinded to. But, sadly, there are too many people who are insulting in their criticism. Instead of using a critique as a way to help another, some deliver it in such a way that is belittling or cutting.
We live in a world where the fear of criticism holds too many good people back from achieving their potential and living life to the full. Sadly, it is often the most talented and creative people who are worst affected.
So, is there any way we can overcome the pain caused by criticism? I would have to say yes and no. It really depends on the person, the circumstances and the reaction. For example, if you are highly reactive about the slightest reproach, then the chances are you are out of balance (imbalanced hormones, impaired immune system, have suffered with too much emotional stress or grief, etc.) and feeling more pain than you should. In these cases, by getting to the root-cause or finding a way to deal with emotional stress (see below) will help soften future reactions. But for many, being hurt by criticism goes with the territory of being an Empath.
We also have to consider that negative reactions to criticism could also be a trauma trigger response stemming from childhood.
For an Empath, repeated pain caused by criticism can eventually lead them to closing down to others. It can make for superficial or shallow conversations and an inability to make proper connections. It almost comes as a double-edged sword. In a bid to stay protected from others’ judgements we can build a wall so high that we end upon the outside of everything, which can become quite isolating.
Facing up to the reasoning behind this reaction to criticism is difficult. But the simple fact is until we face our fear of criticism (Urgh, I know!) we won’t really understand it.
A simple question to ask is: Why do you think you feel such reactions to criticism? (f you want to uncover the true answer, now is the time to be totally honest with yourself.)
The answers will probably look a little something like this:
- When you’re criticised you feel like you’ve let someone down.
- You were picked on as a child and it made you feel weak or useless and anything that reinforces that belief acts as a trauma trigger.
- Your parents constantly criticised your efforts and, although you realise it was their way to make you better at everything, it served in making you feel insecure or unvalued.
- You hate feeling as though you’ve done something wrong.
- You dislike other people making judgements about you when they have no idea who you are or the way you think.
- Criticism ignites a feeling of worthlessness and not being good enough.
- You have always worked to be the best at everything you do and when someone criticises your efforts it is soul-destroying and is taken personally.
- You want to be liked by others and work hard to keep them pleased.
Vanity can also be a reason behind the pain because, lets face it, who takes pleasure in being criticised?
Whatever your answer is, look at how it impacts your reactions. Do you feel pain or anger? Are you upset that you offended someone or are you angry that this person has you all wrong?
If it’s pain you are hurt. If it’s anger you are insulted… You can also be both.
Next, question the person making the criticism (even if you don’t know them, let your intuition guide you).
- Do they want to take you down because of jealousy?
- Are they trying to make themselves self-important and you insignificant?
- Are they trying to be cruel to be kind?
- Is their critic really an excuse to attack you?
- Is it a cruel troller at work?
- Do they have unrealistic expectations of you?
- Are they in pain themselves?
People who negatively criticise you (behind your back or to your face), will, in all likelihood, criticise everyone and anyone, because they are probably unhappy with themselves. Or it could be that by putting others down, they are attempting to lift themselves up and make themselves feel ‘special’.
Some people will also attack you because they can’t face looking into themselves to find the reason of their own unhappiness or insecurities (it is easier to blame others than to face the truth).
Whatever the case, when we wallow in the pain of others’ criticism (even through anger) we are actually punishing ourself over someone else’s opinion. And, let’s face it, people rarely get an Empath right. They cannot understand what they don’t experience.
So, now it’s time to look at ways to deal with the pain caused by criticism. Sadly, there is no magic pill here. As an Empath, the chances are you will always get hurt by criticism, and that’s alright. As I said, it comes with the territory. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not a weakness. It is a sign of being a sensitive and compassionate human. But, all the same, here are some tips that should help.
Ways to Deal with Criticism
Acceptance is a huge way to overcome the fear attached to judgements. Lean into the pain criticism causes, don’t try to hide from it or deny it. Say it out loud: ‘I get hurt by criticism because I am a deeply caring and compassionate person.’
If you find your mind keeps wandering back to the cruel words of another, keep repeating the above line in your head.
Some may say this is reinforcing a negative belief, but it is embracing a truth. When we face an uncomfortable truth, instead of hiding away from it, we often take away the pain it causes.
Use a Muscle Stressing Distraction.
Sounds torturous, but it isn’t. Being in emotional pain sucks! And this is simply doing something that puts discomfort on to muscles within the body, which then takes the mind away from emotional pain (the mind can’t focus on two pains at once).
Physical discomfort takes our awareness out of our head (or from the solar plexus, our seat of emotions) and on to the body part being worked. It won’t go away completely but it will be considerably numbed.
Keep Your Body Balanced
If you are a regular reader of my posts or books, you will probably want to slap me for suggesting to keep your body balanced, because I always come back to it. But if you are out of balance, physically, it has a knock-on effect on your moods and emotions, your reactions become heightened and you will react to criticism, or any other stress in your life, far worse than you should. Out of balance Empaths do not handle any type of stress well!
Simple signs such as: having dry skin, carrying excess weight, suffering indigestion or other digestive complaints, having lower back problems or sore joints, itchy skin or a rash could all pinpoint that your body is out of balance and thus your emotions and moods have been compromised. Every system of the body is connected, and if you are having physical symptoms, even minor seemingly insignificant ones, it is a sign of physical imbalance.
If you are interested in finding out the worst things to imbalance an Empath, then my books 7 Secrets of the Sensitive, or How to Heal Leaky Aura Syndrome will help you uncover them and work towards healing. Otherwise, these posts will give you a head start:
So, there you go. I do hope this post helps you understand your reaction to criticism a little better and lets you know, as an Empath, you are certainly not alone in your reactions.
Until next time…
Diane lives in Manchester, UK. She spent the past twenty years researching everything from human anatomy to the law of attraction. She is a qualified colour and crystal therapist, massage therapist, reflexologist, aromatherapist, healing practitioner, yoga and meditation teacher, and has done in-depth research into diet and nutrition and how it affects Sensitive people.. ©Diane Kathrine
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
© 2008-2018 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Archive: Intuitive Connections
- 2018 (23)
- November (1)
- October (2)
- August (6)
- July (2)
- June (2)
- May (2)
- March (2)
- February (2)
- January (4)
- 2017 (72)
- December (6)
- November (9)
- • The True Magic of Gifting with Intention
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 14
- • My Invocation of Gratitude
- • 10 Positive Practices for Empaths to Flourish and Thrive
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 13
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 12
- • How to Ask the Universe for a Sign – Guide
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 11
- • Cultivating A Spirit Of Generosity
- October (10)
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 10
- • 10 Essential Traits Every Empath Must Manage
- • Mental Telepathy and Claircognizance. Are They Related?
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 9
- • 7 Things You Do Different Because You Have High Emotional Intelligence
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 8
- • The Spiritual Significance of 10/10
- • The Weekly Sage – Edition 7; October 8, 2017
- • Divine Spirit Guides 101
- • The Weekly Sage; September 30, 2017
- September (2)
- August (3)
- July (5)
- June (1)
- May (10)
- • 7 Most Frequent Synchronicities
- • How To Create Fulfillment Through Intuition
- • The Dark Side Of Empathic People That You Rarely See
- • What It's Like to Be an Empath
- • Fixers, Empaths and Over-Givers
- • Can You Have Too Much Empathy?
- • 29 Signs You Were Born To Be A Spiritual Healer
- • Are You A Highly Sensitive Person?
- • Highly Sensitive People Interact With The World Differently
- • How To Know If You’re An Empathetic Person
- April (9)
- • Are You Feeling Lost, Alone or Disconnected?
- • Are You a Natural Born Healer?
- • Precognitive Dreams – Is It Possible To See The Future In Your Dreams?
- • A Dark Part Of Empathic People That You Rarely See
- • 9 Reasons to Avoid Negative People
- • Next Level Of Shielding For Empaths
- • Words and Their Effect on our DNA
- • The Incredible Healing Power of Nature for the Empath
- • Is There Spiritual Significance to April Fools Day?
- March (4)
- February (6)
- January (7)
- • Feeling Foggy? An Energetic Perspective on Brain Fog
- • Why We Meet The Same Souls In Every Incarnation?
- • Earthing: Easy Grounding for the Empath
- • Can You Trust a Psychic to Know Your Destiny?
- • A Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss
- • 6 Ways to Protect Yourself as an Empath
- • Your Soul’s Journey: A Message from Your Spirit Guides
- 2016 (64)
- December (3)
- November (2)
- October (8)
- • Your Power IS Your Intuition
- • Samhain and Scorpio New Moon Guided Journey Ritual 2016
- • The Spiritual Significance of Halloween
- • Psychic Vampires And The Use Of Etheric Energy
- • How to Receive Guidance from Your Heart
- • 6 Signs That You Are a Highly Sensitive Soul
- • How to Ask the Universe for What You Want
- • Why Am I Feeling This Way?
- August (3)
- July (3)
- June (5)
- May (4)
- April (8)
- • The Circle of Life: Understanding Mandalas
- • Visualization To Materialization — The Secret To Achieve Your Goals
- • A Repeating Message from The Universe
- • Intuition: Your Divine Right and Connection to Source
- • 5 Relationship Myths We Have Been Programmed to Believe
- • Under Psychic Attack
- • Defining the Emotions an Empath Feels in Others
- • The Meaning and Energy Behind The Days of the Week
- March (12)
- • If You Feel You Are Different From The Rest of Society, You May Be a Human Angel
- • Spiritual Hygiene — How To Heal Spiritual Hurt And Injuries
- • What’s your life purpose?
- • How to Open and Lead With the Heart
- • The 3 Types of Telepathy, Including Soul-to-Soul Telepathy
- • Intuition Vs. Fear- How Do You Know?
- • How Spirit Gives You All The Answers You Need
- • 7 Tips to Strengthen Your Intuition and Take Soul-Inspired Action
- • Could Your Empathic Abilities Really Be Clairsentience?
- • How To Remove Negative Energy From Your Home With Simple Cleansing Rituals
- • Access the Second Brain for Greater Intuition
- • Empathy & Compassion — Helping Others Without Being Judgmental
- February (11)
- • Old Souls Do Things Differently
- • Do Trees Feel Pain?
- • Do You Sense Spirits in Your House? Here is What to Do
- • 5 Types of Spirit Guides and How to Contact Them
- • Do Empaths Have Mediumistic Abilities?
- • What To Do When You’ve Tried Everything
- • Signs You Are Being Attacked by an Energy Vampire
- • Does Your Life Feel Complicated?
- • Let The Path Be Lit, And All Repeating Patterns Be Broken
- • 3 Powerful Methods to Protect Your Energy
- • Develop Intuition and Find Your Bliss
- January (5)
- 2015 (49)
- December (10)
- • New Year Resolutions for the Soul
- • Are you being called?
- • All I Want For Christmas Is...
- • Message: Reassignment – Ashtar Mothership In Saturn’s Rings
- • Energy Clearing: What Is It And What Does It Do?
- • Unlock Doors to Happiness, Prosperity & Abundance
- • Are you an Empath or HSP?
- • Staying Grounded for Empaths and Sensitives
- • How To Energetically Protect Yourself As A Lightworker
- • A Collection Of Dream Symbols And What They Mean
- November (9)
- • Reversing The Elements Back To The Soul
- • Ether: The Law Of The 1st Element
- • Old Souls : The Knowledge Of Your Eternal Self
- • Grounding Techniques for Empaths
- • Heyoka: The Most Powerful Type Of Empath
- • What To Do When Things Get Quiet: Go Within
- • Angelic Assistance is Quantum Superpositioning
- • Working With The Magic of Nature Spirits
- • 10 Warning Signs The Universe Sends When You’re On The Wrong Path
- October (8)
- September (3)
- August (3)
- July (2)
- June (4)
- May (3)
- April (3)
- March (1)
- February (2)
- January (1)
- December (10)
- 2014 (6)
- 2013 (12)
- December (1)
- November (3)
- September (1)
- August (1)
- June (2)
- May (1)
- April (3)
- 2012 (3)