Category: Shifting Perspectives Written by Sofia Falcone
There are lessons in life which cannot be taught, they can only be experienced; such is the case when it comes to the art of sensuality. While the majority of people in today’s society live disconnected from their body’s senses, there are others who have been born quite in touch with their sensuality; to them sensuality is more than just technique or cheap arousal…to them it is a state of being.
To discover the art of sensuality is to discover the magic which arises when sensibility, strength, desire, fascination and energy are combined.
When it comes to the art of sensuality nobody teaches us how essential it is to refine our ability to feel without analyzing, without wanting to achieve anything, without exercising power; behind our dreams of control there is an exciting territory worth exploring.
When talking about sensuality most people automatically think of sexuality, yet sexuality is but a small fragment of sensual life. There are many stereotypes about the concept of sensuality; I focus on is its original meaning “To live consciously focusing on our senses and emotions”.
The lack of proper understanding on what sensuality encompasses is due to the fact that we live in a over rationalized, extremist culture, where education on the art of sensuality is practically non-existent. It’s only natural when dealing with extremes, that over time and with the help of modern media, more and more people would confuse sensuality with classless, tasteless exposure.
Sensuality is not about covering your body from head to toe, neither it is about showing every inch of your body in a way that doesn’t evoke PURE lust mixed with desire for wanting to know the person behind the body….
Let’s take for example sensual photography. These days very few artists actually know what to do when it comes to photographing a naked body. Most photos show images which are empty and easily forgettable by most who look at them. The forgetful reaction is natural, as in today’s society there are countless images which claim sensuality but simply evoke an animal desire which goes no further than the next image. No one teaches us anymore the art of glancing, the art of taking time to explore, the pleasure of listening, etc. We have forgotten the art of consciously using our senses to live authentic physical and emotional relationships.
People who understand what sensuality truly encompasses, whom are trained in the real art of sensuality, and whom are in touch with their duality, can be seductive without becoming ambiguous. They can be passionate, strong, gentle and spontaneous without compromising who they are. Sensuality has nothing to do with age, sex or appearance. It has nothing to do with the concept of physical beauty according to the traditional canons nor with the false stereotypes of our time….true sensuality is an essence and it transcends it all…
Sensuality is the subtle harmony of gestures and movements, the sound of our voice, the warmth and relax tension of our bodies, the tuning of our skin to express itself in a constant and fluid way regardless of whether or not there are others there to watch. A natural sensual being does not need an audience; he/she embraces it when presented, but does not require one in order to feel sensuous. A sensual individual simply enjoys the sensations of life which can give great pleasure. A sensual individual lives without schemes, exploring the depths of the meaning of life; for sensuality is deeply connected to our mind and spirit; living every moment with total absolute attention as if one were a child all over again yet with the wisdom of an ancient.
Is sensuality only reserved for a few? certainly NOT; this wonderful gift is our right and heritage which we have only forgotten how to claim and possess. Sensuality as joy, presence, spontaneity and absolute passion for life, is present in all of us from birth; some would say even before that moment.
Sensuality is an art which is totally linked to our senses; to learn any art one needs two things: Masters/Teachers and Pupils. In order to get in touch with our true sensuality, we need models of deep intimacy– healthy and conscious. We need to learn to appreciate our bodies and spirits as works of art; the more complex and different the art the better. Sensual people are often compared to a rollercoaster; an unforgettable one; as very few people in our society allow themselves to explore all their range of emotions and feel the rawness of their spirit which feeds their physical senses. We need to use touch the same way a master musician uses his ear to compose a beautiful symphony.
We are a society full of cheap sexual explicit images and sexually explicit behavior, yet not many of us have given ourselves permission to explore our senses and to discover the meaning of making love.
Sensuality is the art of practicing pleasure, not only physical pleasure, we need to live within our body consciously, which is key to cultivating a full life and to keeping alive the flame of our own natural sensuality.
Here are a few easy steps to help you reclaim your own sensuality.
- Start by feeling your body….If you are sitting feel your body’s points of support on the chair; if you are standing feel the contact with the ground. Relax your belly, your sex, your neck, jaw, tongue and breathe long and deep. Slightly draw small circles with your pelvis keeping your spine soft. Do it as many times a day as you would like.
- Do this on your bed upon waking up and before going to sleep….With your eyes close, breathe deeply allowing your belly to expand and claim more space as you inhale. Move your pelvis with small circular movements in harmony with your breathing, keep your body relaxed and maintain a lazy and pleasant rhythm.
- When you are under the shower….Keep your attention on the water as it falls and caresses your body, stay focus on this liquid massage and the sensations it produces on your skin.
- Awaken the sensitivity of your skin….Our skin is our most extensive organ, therefore touch is valuable. Close your eyes while naked and relax your breath, caress your body slowly and smoothly; awaken your curiosity by doing this, as if you were exploring and unknown landscape. Pay attention and appreciate the temperature, the texture, the pressure; do not leave anything unexplored.
- Pay attention to one of your senses at a time….Doing this is incredibly powerful. Have you ever tasted eating something delicious? well think about how much better it would taste if you focus on each bite and the sensations it produces. Take the time to learn to enjoy and explore different smells or listen to music blindfolded.
- Face your partner with your eyes closed…Lay very close to your partner; close but without touching. Do the first exercise written here and when your bodies are relaxed, slowly and while keeping your eyes close, slowly begin to explore each other’s bodies; discovering, feeling, staying with the sensations.
- Expand your knowledge…Believe it or not, intelligence/wisdom is by far the most seductive “tool” one can possess. Knowing when and how to use it can be very powerful and unforgettable.
At every moment of our lives we use our sensory capacities but we do this as if we were in automatic pilot; without realizing the wide range of our senses. We have become like robots who do not perceive movement, the musculature, the skeleton which supports us. Most of us are tense and take small shallow breaths. We touch our bodies and the bodies of others without realizing the messages our bodies are transmitting. We eat distractedly, most of the time thinking about other things without paying attention to the taste of our food. Thousands of smells are perceived by our noses which send messages to our brain but we do not even become conscious of them. A bunch of sounds reach our ears but we cannot really listen with full attention. Our eyes receive a multitude of images but we do not really see. Our senses are the key to enter into direct and real contact with the world around us. To reconnect with our senses means to enjoy the wonders of life; to unite our senses with our conscious is the secret to discovering the magic of sensuality.
Move in your own body with total connection, be present and awake at every moment; let this guide you through the sensations and enjoy them completely. Use your senses as tools of knowledge and source of pleasure, by doing this we return to our origin, we remember to be part of the whole and simply LIVE; living every moment in a sensual magical way…making love with life!
I passionately believe one person can make a difference. I write from my own experiences and interests. It is my greatest hope that by writing about my own challenges and hopes, others may feel inspired to believe more in their inner power and to fully embrace themselves.
Reprinted on crystalwind.ca with permission from Sofia Falcone.
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