Counting Kindnesses
Category: Inspired Mind Written by David R. Hamilton PhD Views: 1316

There’s a lot to be said about noticing what you do. Many of us go about our days largely unconscious, in that while we do the things we do, we’re not so present as we do them.
Meditation helps us bring awareness to what we do and also to how we think. Meditation, for example, teaches us to start by noticing the breath, but then to notice that we are breathing. It’s a subtle shift but an important one. It shifts awareness to a deeper state. Rather than being the ‘doer’ of breathing, you become the ‘watcher’ of breathing. With practice, meditation helps us to notice all of our perceptions and experiences as appearances in our consciousness. In so doing, we become less unconscious and more consciously present in our lives.
Awareness is a powerful thing. Awareness of anything illuminates it. Even awareness of psychological pain can illuminate it and help to dissipate it as we find a deeper state that is not experiencing the pain, but aware that it is happening. This is not to trivialise our pains. It usually takes a great deal of awareness practice to be able to transcend much of our suffering in such a way. But there is hope to be found in awareness practices.
What about awareness of kindness?
Some research has shown that noticing that you are being kind helps to deepen some of the benefits of it. One of the ‘side effects’ of kindness, as I call them (see, The Five Side Effects of Kindness), is that it makes us happier. It leads to overall improvements in mental health and can even build resilience towards some of the stresses and strains of our lives.
In one study, scientists invited over a hundred women to notice their kindnesses; that is, to keep an approximate daily record of when they say or do something kind. The object was not to go out and intentionally do kind acts, as can be the purpose of other kindness studies, but to simply notice that you are being kind, ultimately to illuminate your intentions, words, and actions in your own consciousness.
Well, after a week of doing this, all of the women were happier than they were at the start of the study and around a third of them had experienced significantly large gains in their happiness.
One of the things this kind of awareness does is it helps us to rewrite the stories we have about ourselves. Many of us focus so much on our faults, our misgivings, our failures, our struggles, times when we did not live up to our own expectations. Many of us feel that we wear a mask as we go about our lives, but that people don’t know what’s underneath it. Sometimes we hold good ideas about ourselves underneath, but a great many people hold negative ideas about themselves underneath, whether it’s about their appearance, personality, or who they believe themselves to be. We hide our self esteem under our masks.
The study essentially illuminated an aspect of these women that many of us tend to forget, that we’re much nicer, kinder people than we realise. Most of us do so many kind things, in the polite things we often say, in saying thank you, letting someone go in front of us in traffic, holding a door, smiling, engaging in friendly conversation with a neighbour or colleague, that we don’t even realise that these are all examples of kindness, and that they say a lot about who we are as individuals.
Many of us frequently reach out to a friend or family member who needs helps, support, or just a friendly ear. Many of us do numerous intentional acts of kindness. All of these things, we tend to give less focus to because they’re habits. But they are beautiful habits.
And when we illuminate them, it brings who we are, this kind person, to the forefront of our consciousness. For some people in particular, the third of the women in the study who felt the biggest gains, they rewrote their personal story so much that it ultimately gave birth to greater self esteem than they had before.
So try to bring awareness to your kindnesses. Just notice that the things that you do, even the tiniest things (or tiny as they seem to you, but they may be significant to the other person(s)), say a lot about the good quality person you are!
Reference
K. Otake, et al., ‘Happy people become happier through kindness: a counting kindness intervention’, Journal of Happiness Studies 7 (3), 2006, 361–75 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1820947/)
David R. Hamilton PhD
After completing his PhD, David worked for 4 years in the pharmaceutical industry developing drugs for cardiovascular disease and cancer. During this time he also served as an athletics coach and manager of one of the UK’s largest athletics clubs, leading them to three successive UK finals. Upon leaving the pharmaceutical industry, David co-founded the international relief charity Spirit Aid Foundation and served as a director for 2 years.
Now a bestselling author of 6 books published by Hay House, he offers talks and workshops that fuse science, the mind, and spiritual wisdom. David writes a regular blog for the Huffington Post.
Source Here
Thank you!
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
© 2008-2021 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Featured This Month
Sun in Aquarius
An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for Aquarius The ruler of Aquarius ... Read more
Amethyst: A Stone for the Age of Aquarius
Amethyst has long been thought of as a "stone of spirituality and contentmen... Read more
The Crystal Wind Oracle
The Crystal Wind Oracle Mobile APP Check Out The USER REVIEWS! Click Here! ... Read more
Imbolc and the Promise of Spring
Winter’s medicine is about rest, recovery, and withdrawing inside ourselve... Read more
Aquarius Mythology
The Aquarius Myth The Aquarius myth follows the story of Ganymede, a young ... Read more
Imbolc Customs
Imbolc, (pronounced im-bolk) or Candlemass, Imbolg, Bride's Day, Oimelc, and... Read more
Stones, Crystals, and Metals Correspondences
Stones, crystals, and metals correspondences for magick spells and rituals. ... Read more
Rest & Cleansing Moon
Otter – Quaking Aspen – Silver January 20 to February 18 The Rest and Clea... Read more
Imbolc Lore
Imbolc (pronounced "IM-bulk", "IM mol'g" or "EM-bowl/k") is one of the Great... Read more
Imbolc - The Feast of Brighid
Image source: The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card Deck.Get it here... Read more
2021 - Year of the Ox
2021 is the Year of the Metal Ox. Starting on Feb. 12 and lasting to 2022 Luna... Read more
Birth Totem - Otter
Birth Totem Otter Birth dates: January 20 - February 18 Birth Totem: Otter... Read more
Annual Blessing Of the Sacred Hearth at Imbo…
Blessed Brigid Blessed Brigid, Flame of Delight , May the fires of yo... Read more
The Rowan Tree - January 21 - February 17
The Fire Festival Of Brigantia Celtic Symbol : The Green Dragon Zodiac Deg... Read more