For years, I’ve had a t-shirt for years that says, “Never Give Up.” I have worn it often when I was weary and felt the need to persevere in spite of all obstacles. This year, it is running threadbare. Perhaps it is a sign of the times. Although it has been a lesson I’ve been working on for decades, this is the year I truly learned to give up.

I didn’t give up on loving the world or anyone in it. I didn’t give up on my personal goals. I didn’t give up on trying to help and assist others. I did give up, however, on an unrealistic desire to be all things to all people, and I gave up attempting control the things I cannot.

“Giving up,” in this sense, has brought a deeper peace than I knew was possible. “All stress,” the angels once said, “comes from trying to control things you can’t, or attempting to push yourself in directions you don’t want to go.” I can’t control the virus in the entire world. I can’t control politics or how people feel about them. I can’t control the entirety of systemic racism. I can’t control the fact that some people love me and others loathe me. I can’t control hurricanes, wildfires, floods, or the actions of any single one of the other 7.6 billion people on this earth. I gave up, and gave in to peace.

I gave up in ways large and small. When an angry soul verbally lambasted me for something earlier this year instead of having a loving dialogue, I didn’t even respond. I gave up trying to convince people I was loving. I know my heart.

Last week I received more emails than I could humanly answer before the election results came in. I gave up trying to answer them all and took Saturday off so I would feel vibrationally ready to give my all in the gazes on Sunday.

When a dear one who is in dire circumstances started arguing for how awful their life is becoming, and become even more heated when I offered positive spiritual truths, I gave up. Instead of trying to convince them to change, I offered some useful 3D suggestions, along with comfort, support, and love.

Giving up on trying to change things we can’t, or people who don’t want to change in the moment, is the equivalent of giving in to our soul’s desire for peace, happiness, and greater harmony in our own lives. Giving up on trying to please everyone is giving in to our own inner compass so we can learn what we came to learn and create what we came to create. This brings peace, harmony, and a greater flow to life.

In this peace, we become the light-workers that we truly are. When we’re not spending our time and energy in drama, judgment, fear, or anger about what others can or should or shouldn’t be doing, we can focus on offering love in a given moment. We can hear our guidance. We’re safe and protected by our own light.

So when you see things going on in the world, or in your life that you don’t like and you can’t control, take a breath. Like a mother surrendering to her own contractions, breathe. Surrender. Feel the peace of releasing yourself from the burden of trying to figure out a solution to a problem you can’t solve all by yourself. Instead, ask yourself a simple question, “How can I add more love to this moment? How can I tune into the vibration of the solution?”

You can envision the desired outcome. You can enjoy the simple pleasures in life. You can offer assistance to someone if you’re inspired. You can sit, pray, meditate, and emanate blessings and loving vibrations out into the world.

I’ll not ever giving up on creating a more loving world. I’m not giving up on loving all souls whether I resonate with their beliefs, behaviors, or not. I’m not giving up on personal goals. I am, however, giving up on trying to change what I personally cannot, so as to free up my energy to do all I truly can.

Here are a few pointers to help you give up on the things you can’t change and to emanate more love in the world.

1. Surrender/Giving up is not a failure

Knowing what you can and cannot change is wisdom. Giving up trying may feel like a failure to the ego, but is often a victory for the soul – a choice for peace, self-love, and an honoring of all souls involved. At first this seems counter-intuitive. If a person you love is being self-destructive and you’ve tried all you can to assist, how can this be honoring? The angels say that you are honoring their free will –  their right to choose their own path, and thus learn their own lessons, their own way. You are also honoring your own desire for peace, kindness, and your own growth.

If you can’t do anything about a situation that bothers you, you may think this adds to your stress, but if you truly, deeply surrender, let go and give the situation to a higher power in faith and trust, you’ll feel deep relief. As the saying goes, “Let go and let God.”

2. Ask yourself, “Is there anything I am inspired to do about this now?”

When faced with a challenge you can’t control, ask yourself, “Is there anything I’m inspired to do about this now?” Trust your answer. When you see people behaving in ways you don’t care for, whether in your personal life or on the news, ask yourself, “Is there anything I am inspired to do about this now?” You can always ask the question again later.

Guidance comes as a simple inspiration in the moment, to do something, say something, or withdraw from something. It feels self-loving and kind to think of honoring your guidance – never vengeful, angry, or unkind.

3. Keep shifting your thoughts

We are often like a dog with a bone when we’re frustrated, or upset. It is hard to let go of righteousness, indignation, anger, or judgment, yet it doesn’t make you feel good. Remind yourself, “I care more about feeling good and being in a high vibe, than being right. As long as I’m right for me, that’s alright!” Then slowly choose thoughts, one at a time, that make you feel better.

4. Focus on What you Can Control

After you’ve given up trying to change what you can’t, listened to your guidance, and shifted your thoughts to a higher vibe, you’ll see quite clearly what you can control. You can do things you enjoy. You can talk to people you inspire you. You can read good words, watch inspiring media, or think wonderful thoughts.

Best of all you can love anywhere and everywhere! When you allow love to flow through you, you feel great! You can do this in all ways great and small, and sometimes so quietly that no one will know you’re being a lover of life.

You can bless people you see on the road, or in the news. Pray for peace to rise up in all human hearts. Try to appreciate everything you use for the next five minutes, or better yet all the time, Be kind. Smile under the mask and transmit that energy through your eyes. Imagine hugging the world. Send a kind note to a friend.

Imagine that spark of light glowing in every human heart. Whisper in your heart to all souls, “you are loved.”

And most importantly, love and honor the loving urges of you own heart because that is where the Divine speaks to you most clearly.

No matter what inspires it, the vibration of love is a powerful, transformative ripple in the cosmic pond!

Giving up trying to change things or people we can’t requires a real paradigm shift and yet it is the quickest path to peace. We free up our energy. We release others unto their own growth. We exist in a higher vibe in which we attract kinder circumstances. And best of all, in that higher and more loving vibe, we find we have more control over own reality and more influence on the world around us, than we did with all of our mighty but ineffective efforts.

Sometimes; in fact, often, giving up is really just giving in to the light of love and the Divine within.