Today we will be discussing how to navigate the transitioning phase of a loved one.

The transitioning of a loved one is always a very challenging time. A sudden passing can make you feel shock, dismay, and like the rug had been pulled from underneath you. Today’s post is about the challenges of having a loved one who is moving towards their transition due to illness.

One of the more positive aspects of knowing a loved one is terminally ill, if there is one, is the fact that you know you are moving towards their transition. While it is still incredibly difficult, the shock isn’t as great as a sudden death. You have more time to process what is happening, to tell the person how you feel about them, and hopefully come to a place of peace with them if your relationship required some healing. Of course it is up to the person if they are ready for that resolution, as they are in charge of their transition experience.

I’ve learned so much through the transition of both of my parents. My mother had a long, slow death due to Parkinson’s disease and dementia. It was difficult to watch her sink into herself. I never really knew what would bring her comfort because there was so little of her present to connect to. It seemed more than anything that she just really wanted to be left alone.

It was during that time that Gabriel explained to me that deaths due to Alzheimer’s, dementia, or comas allow the person much more time to spend out of the body connecting to the higher realms. It helps the person prepare to release the body. That made a lot of sense because my mother really liked to be in control, and I can see how that would have been a beneficial process for her to prepare her for her release. That explains why sometimes your loved one seems completely gone when you visit them and then other times they seem fully present and you get a glimpse of them as you know them.

In the case of my mother’s dementia, she regressed backwards until she was a small child. Gabriel explained to me that she was actually doing her life review while still in the body, which again would make her transition easier. The loved ones who witness this start to mourn the loss of their loved ones, doing a great deal of the processing while they are still in the body.

In the case of my father’s passing, he had a shorter illness, passing away a month after diagnosis. This allowed us enough time to wrap our brains around what was happening and to have important conversations. In his case, my presence was a comfort so I spent a lot of time with him as he was transitioning.

As I was driving up to the hospital to visit him, I realized that that day was the best it was going to be and it was only going to get harder. The thought was absolutely overwhelming. It was at that point Gabriel popped in and told me the key to moving through it all was to stay completely present. I took his words to heart, and did just that to the best of my ability. From that space I could sit in the hotel room and just appreciate that my father was still present and in that moment I was ok.

It seems in these energies people are doing so many interesting things with their transition points. People I know and love have very suddenly passed away and I had no idea it was going to happen. I see some people walk right up to transition points, change their minds, and suddenly get much better.

Some people decide they have done all they have had to do in this incarnation and that it’s time to go Home. Others decide to stay, and when they do it always means that they have agreed to moving through another layer of growth. But the transition point is a deeply personal choice, much like we choose our birthdays, and is chosen by the soul and the assistance of their team. It is a beautiful and sacred time, showing they had reached a state of completion to the best of their ability and in that sense, is something to celebrate. It is equally important to honour your human emotions as you go on to mourn their physical presence in your life.

So if you are going through the illness of a loved one that is likely to end with their passing, follow your heart. Ask for the assistance of the angels for both you and your loved one. Offer whatever you feel guided might be a comfort to them and don’t be insulted if they choose not to take you up on your offer. If your loved one has decided not to see you at all in the process, it means that all was well between you and there were no loose ends to tie up.

I have done so many readings for people over the years who suffer with tremendous regret over things they think they got wrong as their loved one passed away. It is so common for people to get up to go to the washroom and, of course, it is during that small window of time that their loved one slips away leaving them wracked with guilt. Every single time I hear a similar story I am always told by spirit that their loved one simply wanted to spare them the trauma of seeing them take their last breath.

And most of all, remember staying in the now moment as much as you can is the key to getting through it as you honour them in how they wish to complete their journey here. No matter how it unfolds it is a sacred time for everyone involved that your loved one is in charge of and it is impossible to get it wrong.

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