I have been able to experience states of consciousness that amaze me, in which I am feeling my soul humming in my body, and in which I am absolutely ecstatic.  I could be taking a walk, having coffee at Starbucks, or just sitting around the apartment, doing nothing in particular.

I can’t  attribute it to any particular technique.  I never could get into meditation.  I don’t do deep breathing.  I don’t follow any particular diet or exercise program.  I don’t do yoga or use crystals.  I don’t smoke cigarettes, cigars, cannabis, or take supplements, herbs, or any kind of pharmaceuticals.

As far as having resolved all my issues, emotional or physical, I can’t say I am issue free. My environment isn’t picture perfect.  I am not much for good housekeeping,    I haven’t resolved all my relationship issues.   Or my financial ones.

But I also am not indulging any of those unresolved issues as much as I used to.  So in a way, they are not so significant anymore.

I have bad days.  Bad moments.  But I have discovered that moving energy and transmuting those bad moments gets easier.  If I accept those emotions, whether they are fear, sadness, hopelessness, anger, frustration, boredom…that’s a tough one…I think it’s easier to feel a really dark emotion than to feel bored.  We humans want to feel, and boredom is almost a non-feeling.

So they seem to move through me and I seem to regain that blissful feeling again.

Feeling those darker emotions and not owning them.  That’s the elixir.  Not trying to scramble out of them, or analyze them.  Staying in the feeling, not the mind.  As soon as I try to fix them, by trying to figure them out, I am right back in my mind.  That seems to stop the flow.

The biggest surprise to me in this whole Embodied Enlightenment process is that I don’t have to work on improving myself as the human, as Maria.

I don’t have to solve my issues, my health, finances or relationship problems.  I don’t have to become a better person.  You know, more wise, more compassionate, more focused, more whatever.  Because that compassion, that wisdom isn’t really something my human self is very good at.  In fact my human self is pretty unsure, pretty worried, and loves arguing for its limitations.

What’s  amazing to me is that my eternal self, my soul is really not waiting for me to ‘get it together’ as Maria.  My soul just wants to be in my life with me, just the way I am.

To my human self, to Maria, that’s a little crazy.  Why would this magnificent soul be interested in someone who is still clinging to old patterns and who doesn’t really have a clue how to create health, wealth and passion?

But I’ve been doing it.  I’ve been testing the waters with my soul.  I’ve been relaxing more and letting this other part of me just be with me.  I don’t have to jump through hoops, prove worthiness or compromise myself in any way.

I just have to let her in.

I AM HERE

As Maria’s Soul, I am ecstatic that she has allowed me to come in so close.  I am so filled with joy to be able to experience her, and all her senses, and this environment so intimately.

And when we are connected she immediately feels safe.  She feels my presence, and she feels life in a way she has never felt before.  And so do I.  I feel, through her body, so much pleasure.  I can connect with the physical, with nature, with food, with music, with art.  In those times, when she allows me to be with her so intimately, I mingle and merge with all of the elements of Earth, and I bring in all the ethereal.

Sometimes I am too much for her so she asks me to back away.  And I do, in love and respect for her.  But she is allowing me more and more to stay.  She’s getting used to my radiance in her body.  And her body is beginning to benefit from that radiance.

She trusts me more.  She trusts the experience more.   In time she will trust me to bring to her things that she thought she had to be responsible for bringing into her life.

But she is trusting more and more the feelings.  She is trusting that it is safe to feel those feelings of unbridled joy.