Have you ever found yourself trying to make a relationship work?  Or watched other people trying, and you just know, in your soul, that it isn’t supposed to be that hard.  But then you hear the voices of others who whisper in your ear, “Relationships are work.”  Or“Anything worthwhile is hard work.  Sacrifice.“

So you keep trying.  And nothing changes.  But maybe you have changed.  You are in a different place than they are.

This applies to our relationship with the planet.  We spent countless lifetimes trying to make it work here.  Trying to accommodate the expectations of others.  But all the while, deep within ourselves, we knew who we really were, and that this world wasn’t a good fit for us.  We knew, on a deep level that there was so much more than this. But out of necessity, for survival reasons, we kept that truth from ourselves.

And now as we become more of ourselves, the world seems even more harsh, dull, and unwelcoming.  As we let go of family ties, friends, jobs, and connections to the world outside, we feel even more alienated.  Even the so-called spiritual community doesn’t attract us anymore.

Oh we have our routines, and our comfort zones.  Thank goddess for them.  But there is a growing awareness that we truly do not belong here.  That we came here for a very special purpose, but we are not really residents here.

And that is probably the most challenging part of this embodied enlightenment process. The feeling of, why am I still here?

Some of us are not feeling the same passion as others now.  We are not immersed in projects like before.  Nothing seems to engage us like before.

If a psychologist were to analyze us, they may tell us we have clinical depression.  We seem to be displaying all the signs, feeling detached, isolating ourselves from others,  not involved in normal activities as other humans.

And because many of us are also at times filled with joy, and feeling spirit within us, the same psychologist may diagnosis us as being manic-depressive.  And without doubt the prescription pad comes out.

And if we are not careful, we will believe him.  We tend to blame ourselves for not feeling ecstatic about life.  For not being able to feel that joy more regularly.  Then the self blame spirals into depression.  Very seductive.

We know we are not victims.   We have taken responsibility for our life.  But now we are in a unique place.  We are feeling still very human, still feeling victimized at times by this transformational process.  And we are also feeling something else, the expansiveness of our I AM.

It can be confusing.  We wonder, do I want to even be here, am I done with this gig?  Things seem to be waning, and there are physical challenges to boot.  Will I ever transcend them?  If not, can I live with that?

We see people around us going to their jobs, raising their families, immersed in school, or projects…and part of us envies that.  Oh, we know we could never go back to that life, but there is something delicious about being immersed in those roles.  Yet we know it’s all just a game.  We can play in the game from time to time as the master, and it can be fun, but once you are awake, and conscious, it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

It can be a crazy making place to be.

And you can’t share your concerns with the people in your life because in a well meaning place they would invariably try to convince you to either take medication, or go out and get a job or a hobby.

And then you think, maybe they are right, I just need to stir things up.  I’ve been in a rut.  So you try to do something different.  And it does help.  You do move energies.  And it can help move some of the inertia.

But eventually you are back to feeling like, more than ever,  you are just not a fit here.

So this is the place where I could have ended the post, but that would not be very satisfying for me or you.

WHAT TO DO

So here’s what I came up with:  It’s a bitch.  It’s totally frustrating.  It’s impossible.  No one in their right mind would go through this.  I would never recommend this freaking Embodied Enlightenment to my friends.  So here’s what to do……..

Nothing.

At least, that’s what I intend to do about it.

It is what it is.

I do not intend to do anything about it.  If things are boring, they are boring.  If things are breaking down, if my body is falling apart, I’ll just let it fall apart.  If someone is unhappy with me, I am not going to try to make them understand why I am doing what I am doing,

Just like the relationships we see others trying to make work.  How’s that going?  Not so good.

So, it’s a brand new day and a brand new way.  It’s no longer trying to make it work here on the planet.  If it doesn’t work, then that will open up something else to explore.  Whether it’s something here, or off planet.

This gig planet earth is not the easiest, especially for an ascending master.   But as long as we’re here, it’s probably best to stop trying to make it work.  Stop trying to hold things together.  Maybe just let things fall apart.  Let this process do what it’s intended to do.  And see where that takes us.***

***disclaimer:  The information in this article is not intended to replace medical advice.