A+ A A-

Making it all about you

Making it all about you

“You’re making it all about you!” It’s an interesting accusation and one I’ve been on the wrong end of a few times in recent years. From my perspective, it tends to happen when I am unable to be a good resource for someone in the way that I have been. Now, most people if that happens, come back concerned about whatever’s knocked me about – because usually it means I’m ill. I hate letting people down, and I will push through as much as I can, but sometimes that’s not an option.

Sometimes I do indeed take the decision to make it all about me. Usually I do this when not doing so runs the risk of pushing me into serious dysfunction with either bodily health, or mental health. I do it to avoid burnout, to avoid spiralling towards suicidal thoughts, to deal with massive triggering experiences and suchlike. These are times when I think I should be entitled to make it all about me.

So usually when someone accuses me of making it all about me the answer is yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing and need to do. You might want more or better from me, but if I can’t afford it, I’m not giving it. If a person has ever claimed friendship, then I expect that to matter. It might be bloody inconvenient and they might have every reason to feel grumpy and let down, but friends do not ask friends to burn out for them. Of course sometimes it may be a failure to recognise that the situation is that serious and I may have done a bad job of explaining – because, you know… ill…

What’s the intended effect of saying ‘you are making it all about you?’ Is it to punish someone emotionally for not doing the things? Is it to try and get them to back down? I know in some circumstances this would have meant a grovelling apology was called for followed by jumping to do the things no matter what the cost. I don’t want to live like that, and I don’t want to deal with people who will not allow me to make it all about me now and then.

I have, in recent years, become a lot more suspicious of the people who get angry with me for being in difficulty. I’ve stopped assuming this is just because I am a terrible person and everyone is entitled to be cross with me. This is a consequence of spending most of my time with people who genuinely care about me, want me to be well, would be horrified if I broke myself running around after them, and who, if I express myself badly because I’m in trouble, will give me the space to come back and do a better job of that later. I’ve said no to friends a lot this year, and they’ve reminded me that they care, and that they hope I feel better soon, and to yell if there’s anything they can do. It’s not the highest set bar in the world.

Credit

druid life

About Nimue Brown

Druid, author, dreamer, folk enthusiast, parent, wife to the most amazing artist -Tom Brown. Drinker of coffee, maker of puddings.
Credit: druidlife.wordpress.com
Source Here

CrystalWind.ca is free to access and use.
"Would you consider a small gift of $11.11 ?" :)
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
"Life is an echo, what you send out comes back."

© 2008-2020 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.

Pin It

Featured This Month

Page:

Imbolc

Imbolc

Imbolc Ritual Celebrated February 2 Imbolc is also known as Candlemas, Imbo... Read more

Rest & Cleansing Moon

Rest & Cleansing Moon

Otter – Quaking Aspen – Silver January 20 to February 18 The Rest and Clea... Read more

Sun in Aquarius

Sun in Aquarius

An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for Aquarius The ruler of Aquarius ... Read more

Birth Totem - Otter

Birth Totem - Otter

Birth Totem Otter Birth dates: January 20 - February 18 Birth Totem: Otter... Read more

Aquarius Mythology

Aquarius Mythology

The Aquarius Myth The Aquarius myth follows the story of Ganymede, a young ... Read more

Aquarius

Aquarius

You can purchase this Aquarius poster by Lisa Iris by clicking here. Blessin... Read more

The Rowan Tree - January 21 - February 17

The Rowan Tree - January 21 - February 17

The Fire Festival Of Brigantia Celtic Symbol : The Green Dragon Zodiac Deg... Read more

Imbolc - The Feast of Brighid

Imbolc - The Feast of Brighid

Image source: The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card Deck.Get it here... Read more

Amethyst

Amethyst

The Stone of Mastering Change Amethyst is primarily a stone of the mind; i... Read more

Amethyst: A Stone for the Age of Aquarius

Amethyst: A Stone for the Age of Aquarius

Amethyst has long been thought of as a "stone of spirituality and contentmen... Read more

Annual Blessing Of the Sacred Hearth at Imbo…

Annual Blessing Of the Sacred Hearth at Imbolc

Blessed Brigid Blessed Brigid, Flame of Delight ,  May the fires of yo... Read more

Imbolc Celtic Style

Imbolc Celtic Style

Image source: The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card Deck.Get it he... Read more

How to Make a Brigid's Cross

How to Make a Brigid's Cross

The Brigid's Cross is a traditional craft made at Imbolc and Candlemas by Pa... Read more

Midwinter Feast of Light: Reviving the Magic…

Midwinter Feast of Light: Reviving the Magical Foods of Imbolc

I love the ancient feast days of the pagan calendar. Celebrating the tu... Read more

Imbolc Lore

Imbolc Lore

Imbolc (pronounced "IM-bulk", "IM mol'g" or "EM-bowl/k") is one of the Great... Read more

© 2008-2020 CrystalWind.ca. Site Creation by CreativeInceptions.com.
X

Right Click

No right click