There are two sides of the coin to being smart - the knowledge you gather through school and the one you gather through life. For the latter, there are no textbooks. Of course, there are many things you can do to ensure healthier tomorrow, but there’s no real growth without facing life’s challenges.

We’ve all been told to learn from the mistakes of others so we can avoid learning things the hard way, being stuck in the same cycle of mistakes until we figure out things on our own. While this sounds logical and quite easy in theory, in practice the most important lessons do require some repetition.

The whole point is to truly witness the things happening at the moment, to become reflective enough so you can reach a different decision next time around. You don’t have to believe in destiny, but you should look at life’s challenges as something that happens with the purpose - to teach you something. Lessons you learn in this process are a powerful drive that could change you for the better.

1. External Circumstances Are The Tune You Choose to Dance to

Life is full of things that can go wrong and it’s much easier to find excuses than to admit to ourselves that there’s something we are not doing right. But the truth is that things always go wrong due to our own actions - a partner leaves us because we’re too demanding or controlling, we got backstabbed because we’ve trusted too much, we fall in debt because we didn't live within our means, we got sick because our food regime was wrong, etc. Nevertheless, we still tend to blame most of it on external circumstances so we could evade the fact that we’re the ones that should change. The reason is simple - external circumstances are not in our power to change, so the only choice we have is to go along with them. But that’s like paying a fiddler to dance to a horrible tune. You need to realize that the choice is completely yours and embrace the change in your outlook, attitude, or habits.

2. An Easy Path is The One With Difficulties Hidden

This is probably one of the most valuable lessons to learn since all of us are constantly in search of an easy way out despite the fact that we’re well aware that handouts don’t happen in life. But once we see something too good to be true, we can’t resist taking the bait. It is literally a bait - something colorful and shiny which you realize has a sharp hook only when your mouth’s around it. If a path seems easy, that’s only because the difficulties on it are hidden. But they’re always hidden in plain sight, so the only reason we don’t see them is that we didn't take time to truly understand what we’re looking at. We’re aiming at the shortcut, although we know that the right way to do things is much longer. But as we travel along this ʽeasyʼ path the difficulties will always reappear, changing the scenery into the one of regret.

3. Worry is a Suffocating Suit

Worrying is the trickiest of states since it feels like a hurricane inside you, but it actually leaves you completely powerless. All that stirring we feel inside is nothing more than a huge amount of frustration and anxiety which are unable to bring any benefits. It is like a suffocating suit that slowly crawls over your body and mind, killing your determination to take action. Let’s take a look at the most common example - you lose your job. Even if it’s not your fault, you start worrying that maybe it is, making yourself feeling incompetent. As a result, you start worrying that you’ll never be able to find another job again and, in the end, you truly don’t. Once this suit starts crawling over you there’s only one way to escape it - taking immediate action. If it’s not your fault, go for an unfair dismissal compensation and protect your rights. That doesn’t mean you should return to the same job position - it’s all about escaping the state of mind where you’re incompetent and powerless, and shifting your focus towards a solution.

4. People Are Mirrors And Reflections Are Traps

You’re able to see aspects of yourself - and another way around - in people who surround you, they’re like mirrors. And reflections from those mirrors can be huge traps if they show your own judgments, fears, or insecurities. Spending every single day with those people will make you believe all those things and eventually that that’s who you really are. That’s why it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who will not only reflect but challenge your insecurities and fears, enabling you to sculpt yourself in a better and stronger person.

5. Passion is The Fuel And Love Has a Speed Limit

This is probably the hardest lesson to learn. Once we fall in love, all we want is to lock ourselves in the apartment, stare into each other’s eyes, and talk about spending our whole lives together. We become fiery and hot in an instant, burning our passion like there’s no tomorrow. What we fail to realize is that passion is the main fuel to our love, which has a speed limit. Every relationship requires time and energy to grow and evolve, and moving too fast we’re missing all the little things we should acknowledge and learn about each other along the way. These things start to matter sooner or later and realizing we’ve left them behind puts us to a halt where it’s impossible to start the engine again.

Fighting external circumstances you’ll lose, but changing despite them you’ll grow above them. Taking time to realize where you’re going will show the true form of every ʽpromissingʼ shortcut. Failing to take immediate action will turn all your strength to pain inside the suffocating suit of fear and anxiety, and the wrong people around you could make you accept that’s who you really are. Love is a mighty force but also a long road, and you need to have fuel to burn. While these may sound like a fortune cookie wisdom, their full potential grows with every challenge you face in life.

About the author:

Alexander Hunkin is an Australian based startup advisor with in-depth experience in growing business. His meaningful and strategic advices have helped in setting and growing many startup companies in Brisbane and Perth. Alexander is also a content creator for different niches. The top ones are business, career, finance and marketing. He aspires to share his experiences and is always on the lookout for the next opportunity to enhance his skills. When he isn’t busy working, you can find him cooking exotic meals, scuba diving and cycling.

Submitted  Exclusively to CrystalWind.ca by Alexander Hunkin © 2019 crystalwind.ca