What to say but time does teach us great lessons. It teaches us that the greatest pain comes from fighting against the current of one’s own wishes.

I used to meditate communicating to life of my gratefulness, expressing my thoughts, wounds, joys, goals and desires yet always stating that ultimately the motivation of my heart is to keep becoming more of me. “More of me?”… I know that may be what you are wondering, yet it is true; most of us by the time we reach adulthood are but shells of our essence and so the process of life seems to be to unlearn everything that took away from our own power. I don’t mean the old false ego power struggle, but true power…the power to simply be the unique being life intended you to be. That is not easy task…it really does sound easier than it is — but those who are trying, who are doing, and those gone now, who did walk that path, will tell you that to be yourself in a world that demands cookie cut versions is the most monumental task…and yet the only one worth pursuing.

So here I am reflecting on how much a person can still transform over time…that person being me. It is almost as if the last two years, life decided to give me an in-depth crush course on what it takes to become. Funny how I look back and smile at the silly person who two years ago taught she had taken giant steps in life, only to now look back and think…damn, those were baby steps. Funny the thought that one day, I will look back at where I find myself today and probably think the same…. life truly is an adventure.

And yet after the mental kicking and screaming of my false ego (which of course I still have) when life was giving me exactly what I had asked for…showing me the path which would honor my free spirit, here I am… looking back in amazement at the wisdom of life. Shocked? nor really but oh so grateful and in complete admiration and acceptance that life really is exactly that, a living force which does listen — we create our reality, no doubt.

I am not telling you that one should “pray” from a beggar’s place and believe on leaving it all to fate; that is not what I am talking about — honestly doing that, is no different than simply avoiding responsibility and later, if things don’t turn out good, one blames life. No, no no, that is not what I mean by life listens…life does listen when your heart’s motivation is clear and aligned. It is not begging, it is communicating — it is freedom of choice and divine expression….it is free will meets destiny…. balance.

To describe all the little and big events that have taken and are taking place would be too long and too complex…I wouldn’t know where to start. So here, this reflection is simply to say YES to life. Yes, to the wings for which I asked and which so lovingly it offers. Who needs wings? well any Free Spirit does…I do. And my wings began to flutter with more decisiveness as time elapsed, with the conviction that is not worth remaining stagnant waiting for events to take place, but rather life is here for us to create…to take action, to relax, to enjoy…to do whatever it is that makes your spirit sing, your body dance, your wings soar.

What would be the point of waiting, times passing by; were trying to be understanding of people and events turns to begging…. trying again and again, when nothing meets you halfway, because blades of corrosive steel have already formed around the path that is not yours to walk. Remember that like resonates with like, and so in our desire to understand, we shut ourselves from all those things, events, people who do resonate with our own vibration.

No, the pain, the confusion, the chaos…is not worth it. It is not worth it to try to fit where you don’t — following utopias that will ultimately; like any dogmatic mind; will demand that you fit a specific box to be accepted…becoming consequence instead of creator — cutting you wings off, instead of expanding them.

For some life does not create steel barriers, perhaps they have other lessons to learn…maybe they begged, and they are to walk the same paths over and over again until they are willing to accept their own power. Oh, life is full of ups and downs, moments of elation and moments which will still bring you to your knees…but it is different when you choose your wings. For you can feel the resolve, and you know soon the moment shall pass and you once more shall fly.

But to be afraid of having wings, is to learn to go through moments not in solitude but in loneliness, where one is hurting and the necessary call of help is never made or it never comes, and so you feel as if you shall drown alone…questioning little and big things, and perhaps your own essence and identity…but if you are willing to listen to your own voice, your own heart and to communicate with life, you learn.

To live without accepting and utilizing you wings, hoping to fit in, can be but to live in a world of only one color…gray — oblivion. So, in those confusing and perhaps almost bizarre times of loses and wins, of hurts and elation, sadness and love…I am glad I chose the second option. I chose my wings despite the fear, and although afraid still to soar high, at least I am no longer afraid to fly.

I read that it is not the bird that falls while rehearsing how to fly that is wrong. Is wrong the one, who for fear of what may happen refuses to fly; simply staying in the nest…not death but not really living. In the same way, it is not the one willing to fail and make mistakes who is wrong, but the one unwilling to try…for only heroes have “hamartia”, which is the courage to fail, to disappoint, to make mistakes, to explore with pure heart’s motivation and still enjoy life; defying the world and its condemnations by simply saying “It’s my life, so what?” — I shall fall a hundred times and I shall rise a thousand more, and when the final day comes, I shall know I lived!

Sofia Falcone
I passionately believe one person can make a difference. I write from my own experiences and interests. It is my greatest hope that by writing about my own challenges and hopes, others may feel inspired to believe more in their inner power and to fully embrace themselves.

Reprinted on crystalwind.ca with written permission from Sofia Falcone.

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