Category: Brenda Hoffman: Life Tapestry Written by Brenda Hoffman
Even though many of you are concerned about your self-isolation, you also crave it. For you are used to being a social creature – attending parties, joining or creating family gatherings, your work-a-day world. Yet, you are enjoying your alone time, something you find difficult to admit even to yourself.
Such is so because of your 3D social needs. How could you learn your 3D shoulds and have tos if you were not trained in various social situations? In 3D, you so adjusted to certain behaviors and needs that you ignored yourself, your ability to be by yourself. Your popularity depended on friends and social interactions. As a result, you learned how to dress, what to say, how to be the life of the party, or at least, an accepted participant.
But most of you did not learn how to be comfortable with yourself without the entertainment or social interactions indicating you were an accepted part of a 3D group. Such is what you are experiencing now. Some of you with fear or angst. Others with great joy. Being with yourself without expected interactions is a new experience for most.
Do not berate yourself if such isolation is a difficult adjustment for you. Nor do you need to berate others who are finding the same.
Learning to love yourself includes remembering that you are the life of your own party – that others can participate but not direct your party. That is, others can participate at your directive. You are the host, planner, and key party participant forevermore.
A concept so new it is a bit frightening for most. For you proved your 3D social standing by providing a list of friends you told others about. Friends important enough to you that you would dress, act, speak or do the group thought or action of the moment. Group thoughts most often generated by one or two key people. You might even have found yourself doing or saying something that was not you but expected in that group setting.
In some 3D groups, you might have acted one way and differently in another group. Or you may have honed your group skills to behave much the same in all groups. Even so, in 3D, you made certain your words and actions aligned with the group setting.
You might have sounded or acted differently in a family setting than was true at work or an adult party. Persona after persona, you needed to remember, so the settings did not bleed into one another. As an infant, those delineations were not yet formed, so you cried when you were hungry and laughed when you felt like it. It is only after you were socialized that you learned to function differently in different situations. Never quit allowing yourself to be you throughout your day.
First, the number of children you thought of as friends became important. Then, the number of people attracted to you was paramount as a teen-ager. And that 3D need evolved until you lost yourself in the scramble to be accepted by others.
So it is this current isolation is difficult for many. Learning to be content with your own company is a new concept many are fighting against. They are counting the days until they can return to the social circle of yesterday. Not because they need others to exist, but because they are uncomfortable with themselves.
One by one, you forerunners will learn the dramatic beauty of your inner thoughts and actions. You no longer feel the need to please others at the risk of losing or ignoring you. You are strong enough and wise enough to be by yourself. And when or if you return to social interactions, it will be on a different level. You might enjoy new social interactions or be bored. But that joy or boredom will be on your terms instead of reacting, as indicated by the group leader.
This is a new world, and you are a new being. Something you are discovering day-by-day.
Those of you forerunners who shifted from needing to be with others to the joys of knowing yourself have completed a large lesson many are just beginning to experience.
Know thyself is the order of the day – a concept COVID has not only allowed but encouraged. So it is each step of your transition journey is pulling you further and further from your 3D center – initially with a great deal of pain that has decreased with each step forward.
You are indeed a new being with new needs and directions. So be it. Amen.
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