Vastness of Being: A Journey of Awakening and Transformation

Wednesday, 28 February 2024 Written by Nancy Leilah Ward

We are going through another big shift.

The picture in my mind is of being in rushing water that is flowing into a narrow channel. We don’t know where it’s going but I sense a waterfall up ahead. When I tune into the waterfall, I feel a free-floating rush of energy of pure joy. We are the waterfall, becoming rainbow droplets lit up by the light of Source in a free fall.  I hear voices joyously exclaiming. We are one with the water, the light and one another.

Forty-two years ago – can it have been so long? –  I had an awakening experience that lasted for months. Some call it the Kundalini awakening. My awareness was blasted open, and I experienced heightened psychic sensitivity and a knowing of being connected to all of life and all of this reality. It also highlighted the places within me that weren’t my truth – all the beliefs and patterns I had gathered around me, layer upon layer, all the years of my life. I became aware of how these energies guided my behavior, so that I was filled with regret and guilt, haunted by memories of times I behaved unconsciously, in ways that felt beyond my control. This expansion experience was terrifying and wonderful, confusing, magical, scary, and loving. I received insights from guides - messages, so clear. Up until then, I didn’t even know I had guides. I often had glimpses beyond the veil and I was hearing messages and guidance. Music became so alive and also carried messages, and synchronicity was a constant occurrence. I was so open, but I didn’t have discernment. Negative energies were poking at me, trying to pull me down darker pathways. They were part of the energies of the past that were coming up for clearing and I didn’t know that I was in charge, that I could command that only beings of the highest Divine energy come to me to assist me on this journey.

During these several months of heightened awareness, I had a dream where I was standing at the top of a waterfall, and suddenly I became the waterfall. I was all of it at once and in the dream, I was given the name Running Water. When I think of this now, and I go into the vision I have of us about to go over a waterfall, I feel the waterfall inside of me flowing through my torso, cleansing, healing, releasing, expanding and enlivening.

So, in the beginning it was confusing and terrifying and wonderful.  One message I received was that this energy surge will happen again many years in the future, and to people on a worldwide scale. I remember feeling terrified at the thought of having to go through this again – being so open and still trying to function in the world. I was living in Brooklyn, New York and working in New York City. It was the early 1980s – a time of a creative energetic surge. It was a wonderful place to be but also extremely intense to be so psychically open in such a crowded place, trying to function at my job while receiving high frequencies and messages about a new earth, receiving insights as to other lifetimes my Soul has expressed awareness in, and at the same time being terrified of my own choices. There was nowhere to turn, not much information on what was happening to me.  Eventually, the intensity abated, the energy stabilized, and the work of clearing began. Separating the wheat from the chaff.

I have longed to touch that energy again. I have cleared and healed so much, that I feel it will be a different experience this time. When this process of awakening comes to us, our unhealed places are in the spotlight, and it can be very painful and frightening. We need to understand that this is part of the process where these energies are being lifted out of us. We can endure this by loving ourselves no matter what comes to our awareness.

There’s also an ego polarity that can arise whereby we feel like we are the Messiah come to save the world. This is the other side of unworthiness – feeling that we’re here to be “the One.” In truth, we are part of the One and so is everyone else and the only saving we can possibly do is to save ourselves.

Born Again

I feel this experience is the embodiment of the concept of being “born again.” It is a personal experience of being birthed into a new self. Our true self is being born and the birthing process, as we let go of what isn’t our truth, is messy, painful and confusing but also filled with love. When we find the thread of love through the pain, it expands and helps to lift us into an energy stream of love and innocence, which I perceive as Source. It has always been within us - it is our true nature, our life force (love force) energy. This clearing and rebirthing process makes room for our Divine Soul Essence to fully enter into our being – this is what becoming our true self means. Call upon your guides and your Soul essence to assist you in this process and you will feel an inner glow of love and gentleness filling your being.

I call out to the Vastness of Being, what can you say about that which is approaching?

We tell you the terrible beautiful wonder and power of Nature is at hand to help birth Humanity into an awakening consciousness where you will experience yourselves in the oneness of all life. One with one another, so that you can truly experience how all you do and say and think and create affects the Whole of creation. Humanity – you will be opened to the Vastness of your Being. It will be joyous rapture to many – to all who have aligned themselves with love. There will also be a great release of that which is not love and many will feel as if they are being combed within with razor sharp edges as all of their self-judgments and all of their petty acts of unkindness come to the fore. But understand that these energies will be drawn out of you. It will be painful as it happens, but it is for you to stand within love and forgiveness for yourself as you witness the release of beliefs and patterns that separate you from the essence of your Soul and your oneness with all that is. This will help you endure the pain as you, along with most of humanity awaken together to your oneness within the cosmos.

Thank you. I also want to say that when we are experiencing the clearing aspect, when all of our self-judgments and criticisms come up along with memories of things we did unconsciously, it doesn’t mean we are not aligned with love. We are simply clearing our field of the debris accumulated from the past. It is time to let go. And as we do, we practice self-forgiveness and self-love in the process.

There is so much information – many teachings and tools – to help us through this process. Know you are not alone.

May all who read this be filled with love and comfort.

So much love,

Leilah and the Vastness of Being

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