Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 2 (recorded from a live session)

Participant: I see what a furious energy it is.

Facilitator: And you notice how well that has worked for you.

Participant: No, it hasn't worked well. I'm punishing myself.

Back to this word "confusion": to make it very simple, wherever there is confusion—or the illusion of confusion—it’s where the belief in a separate you exists. Simply be aware that's what's happening. When you're experiencing a separate self, you're not in the now; you're in the mind, clinging to an illusion.

Be constantly aware. Simplicity is: there is just now, and there is no “you.” Notice when things feel confusing—that's the belief in separation at work. You can't force yourself to change because there is no self to do that. There's simply the awareness of “Oh! Craziness at work.” Like a sign on the road: “Craziness at work ahead.”

Then ask: “Who is noticing this?” There may be thoughts of a separate character—separate from God—but there is also awareness. Where is that awareness? Is the one feeling pain the same as the one who is aware of it?

Participant: The awareness is the Oneness, the experience that there is no separation, that can come now and then.

There’s a difference between the thought "there is no separation" and the direct experience of Oneness. Who is aware of the thought? There’s still a step back. Like the exercise in today’s book: Remember a joyful moment between ages five and ten—pure presence, without thinking how it should be. That’s Oneness. Even the word “pain” implies duality.

Participant: So you say that pain is really when you resist...

The mind says, “this is pain,” and compares it to another time. That comparison is the root of suffering. I’ve said this before: Jesus on the cross feels pain only if he compares it to a previous state. If it’s just what is—then it’s just now. No comparison, no suffering.

Participant: So help me to open up that reality.

One pointer: remember to turn off the mind. Don’t follow it. Be with what is—without resistance, without the need to change it. Let it be. Accept it as the gift of God that it is. Perfection beyond understanding. The mind wants to bargain: “I’ll accept the pain if I understand it.”

Participant: This urge to understand...

Is a desire to control.

Participant: There we have this controlling bitch again. (laughing)

If I can understand God’s plan, then I can do the job. I don’t need God.

Participant: There is the Oneness. Then it’s not me or God, it’s just the will of God. There was a little Ulla thinking she was separated.

But there is no little Ulla.

Participant: I guess it just comes when it comes, because as soon as I want to do it, I’m lost.

You can hold the intention to notice when resistance arises, when “little Ulla” is active—so you don’t keep repeating it unconsciously.

Participant: I feel how nailed this is... trying to be someone, trying to get love. It’s scary to let go of that. It feels like survival.

Except it’s not survival—it’s suicide.

Participant: What a great misunderstanding! (laughing)

The turning point is when you see how suicidal it really is—guaranteed pain and failure. When you see that, surrendering to another possibility becomes easier.

Participant: The feeling I have is... there’s nothing else to lose.

Or, “nothing to lose but your chains.”

Participant: That’s scary enough to take them off. That is surrender to the will of God.

Every negative emotion is the result of choosing separation. Every one. Choosing a “you” that is separate from God. When you realize this, how long will you continue choosing it? For some time—it’s habit.

Participant: I wish it would stop now.

When you see, “Oh, this has been my choice.” Every time—EVERY time—you project onto another, you imprison yourself. No exceptions.

Participant: Can the prayer “Help me to surrender to the will of God” break that?

Better: “Help me realize there is no me.” As long as there’s a “you,” there’s a separate will.

Participant: So to surrender to the will of God is to let go of my separate will.

No—it’s to let go of the separate self.

Participant: What’s the difference?

If there’s no separate self, there is no will but God’s. If there is a separate self, there’s a separate will.

Participant: So the prayer comes from the separate will?

Yes. If you’re saying “help me,” who is “me”? Every prayer comes from separation. Why ask God to do what God already does? “Oh God, please provide air today.” God always brings perfection. You're just here to play with what’s in the now. If it’s not in the now, it doesn’t exist.

Everything painful or heavy comes from what is not now. If it’s a feeling, let it be there. If it’s a thought, ask: “Is this happening now?” If not—release it. And return to the presence of what is.

Footnote:

Hello Dear Friends,

This month's message is the "live" continuation of the one that began in June. 

On Friday July 18th a new a new six- month (monthly) Zoom Spiritual Awareness Group with Sanhia begins (more information below). There is a discounted fee for those who wish to commit for the entire six months, but if you want to check it out one time, you are welcome. Just respond to this email and we will give you the details.

You certainly don't need to read these messages or join any groups to experience your awakened self. However, meeting people from around the world who share your commitment, people who won't think you are crazy for sharing the things going on in your mind and in your life, can feel supportive. Members find that others are asking the questions they didn't even realize they had. You will receive a recording of those sessions you participate in, so you can listen as often as you wish. It is easy for you to join if you feel so guided; let us know if interest is there but the available time(s) don't work for you.

Michael 

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