•  
Support crystalwind.ca with your donation and help spread spirituality and positivity. Blessings!

This article was posted by CrystalWind.ca

A+ A A-

Has The Universe Ever Asked You This Question?

Has The Universe Ever Asked You This Question?

From as early as I can remember, I have always been afraid of one thing — being too much for people.

As I regularly confused other people’s experiences of life with their perception of me, I became hypercritical of myself. As if anything I said or did somehow pushed others away or motivated their rejection and abandonment. This caused me to shapeshift in various social settings, hoping to quickly find the perfect combination of interests and attributes that allowed others to approve of me.

While I learned how to be "All things to all people," the fundamental downside of this was realizing I couldn’t ever receive the approval offered by others because I wasn’t being the most authentic me in my experiences. It’s a strange chapter of growth, even as a kid, when realizing you can fool others into validating whichever mask you assume will be most attractive to them, while not being able to let any of it in, which can only occur when daring to be your most authentic self. At such a young age, I knew how to win the prize, but was so far away from knowing how to feel it in a meaningful way.

After years of shapeshifting for other people’s validation without knowing why I couldn’t feel it, or even when daring to be myself, why I felt invisible to the world, somehow overlooked by life, dismissed by others, and overwhelmed by those I just wanted to be loved by — a rather intriguing insight dropped in. It asked me, “What if your greatest fear is also one of your deepest insights waiting to be explored?” While I initially scoffed at such a seemingly absurd idea, the voice furthered, “Nothing else seems to work, so why not give it a try?” “Sure,” I thought. It couldn’t be any worse than the Groundhog’s Day I seem to be destined to live out, so I opened to this awareness. Immediately, as if I were watching images of my life being pieced together in a different order, I was taken through a mini life review and began seeing things differently.

I saw how frustrated my parents were when the emotional sensitivities of their empathic child couldn’t be resolved through their rescuing. I viewed a replay of the spiritually-focused questions a Rabbi had not been prepared to answer as he taught Sunday school. I watched as kids turned away in avoidance of the emotions that inspired more curiosity than fear in me. I recalled schoolteachers telling me to "Just be a kid," while in moments of existential crisis. And then, it all came full circle as I suddenly realized, “I have only been too much for others because this is who I have insisted to be validated by. How would my life change if I realized that I’ve never been too much for myself? What if this is where true validation is found?”

While it would take years to process, unpack, and fully digest this insight, it created a bold pattern-interrupt from self-abandonment — no longer requiring others to deny me as a way of returning me back to myself. It wasn’t a "To hell with people, they only disappoint and leave you" type of thought. Instead, it was a heartfelt, soul-nourishing realization that I’ve never been too much for myself, but equally, I hadn’t spent enough quality time with myself to know how validating time with me could be. I certainly thought I had spent enough time with myself, but in truth, the majority of time spent alone involved pining for the approval of others, judging those I felt judged by, conspiring to create newer masks that maximize approval and minimize rejection, and wondering why I felt so invisible to the world around me.

It was because I had confused steeping in the despair of loneliness with getting to know myself as Spirit in form. The more I learned to separate my experiences in life from the one experiencing them from within, the more validated I felt in my own presence, which led to being seen and valued by others around me. The difference was, I wasn’t getting to know myself as a way of stacking the deck of other people’s approval more in my favor.

I had simply played out patterning to such an exhaustive degree, there was nothing left to consider but taking a different approach.

Whether this matches a fear equally hiding in you, or offers new perspective about a life that has felt like more of a struggle than a celebration, your life can and will dramatically shift, once you realize: You are never too much for yourself. Those are merely imprints of other people’s experiences with themselves that were projected onto you or interpreted by the loneliness of perpetual despair.

No matter how often you feel like you are too much for others, you are never too much for Source. Since you cannot ever be too much for Source to handle, you are never too much for me.

I see you. I know you. I feel you. I am you. I love you — from my empathic heart to yours.

All for Love,

Matt Kahn


Featured Video


Featured Quote

Has The Universe Ever Asked You This Question?

© Copyright 2023 Matt Kahn All For Love 

© 2023 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved. We track all IP addresses. Using a VPN will now also get tracked to original source IP.

Pin It

© CrystalWind.ca 2024. All content (articles, imagery, fair use) & design protected. Written permission required for copying. All rights reserved.

Join the Conversation Now! Comment Below! arrow down small 11

CrystalWind.ca is free to use because of donations from people like you. Please help support us! 
Blessings!

Follow this blog

crystal-wind-oracle-mobile-app
Cut Through The Illusions!
Available On
Apple  | Android | Amazon
NEW Expanded Version - 53 cards!

Spirit Animal Totem Of The Day!

CrystalWind.ca is free to use because of
donations from people like you.
Donate Now »

CrystalWind.ca Donation!

Unlock Your Light: Join Lightworkers Worldwide on CrystalWind.ca!

 

Featured Articles: Awakening

Follow Us!

 

Who is Online Now

We have 24133 guests and no members online

Featured This Month

Page:

Taurus

Taurus

TAURUS April 20 - May 20 Read more

Beltane

Beltane

Beltane Ritual Celebrated May 1st Beltane is also known as May Day, Walpurg... Read more

Birth Totem - Beaver

Birth Totem - Beaver

Birth Totem Beaver Birth dates: April 20 - May 20 Read more

The Time of No Time: Beltane!

The Time of No Time: Beltane!

Around the medicine wheel of life we go, from season to season (solstice to ... Read more

Emerald

Emerald

The Heart And Love Stone Emerald brings soothing harmony to ... Read more

The Crystal Wind Oracle Card Deck

The Crystal Wind Oracle Card Deck

The Crystal Wind Oracle™ The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card D... Read more

The Seven Chakras and their Meanings

The Seven Chakras and their Meanings

If you could imagine chakras as circles of energy, flowing all the way throu... Read more

Sun in Taurus

Sun in Taurus

Sun in Taurus April 21 through May 21 An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristi... Read more

Kunzite

Kunzite

The Love Commitment Stone Kunzite has a pronounced calming effect on the he... Read more

Taurus Mythology

Taurus Mythology

The Taurus Myth The Taurus myth is most often interpreted as the story of Z... Read more

Bright Beltane Blessings!

Bright Beltane Blessings!

The wheel turns to Beltane, also known as Mayday, marking the beginning of S... Read more

Jade

Jade

The Heart Path Stone Jade has an overall balancing effect on the heart. It ... Read more

Chrysocolla

Chrysocolla

The Feminine Balancing Stone For thousands of years chrysoco... Read more

Frogs Return Moon

Frogs Return Moon

Beaver – Chrysocolla - Blue Camas – Blue April 20 – May 20 The Frogs Retur... Read more

Cartomancy - Fortune Telling Using Playing C…

Cartomancy - Fortune Telling Using Playing Cards

Cartomancy is the act of divining using cards. Divining means to find out by... Read more

© 2008-2024 CrystalWind.ca. All rights reserved. Site Creation by CrystalWind.ca.
Web Hosting by Knownhost.com

 

 

X

Right Click

No right click