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The Quest for the Holy Grail or the Hero’s Journey

The Quest for the Holy Grail or the Hero’s Journey

Once we are born, we start our quest. Our quest of discovery. We start approaching it with curiosity and play, an explorative spirit that is natural to us.

Very soon after this, we are introduced to the rules and morals of life. What you should and should not do. What is good and what is bad behavior. What you need to do to keep you and your loved ones safe and happy. Over the years, our innate curiosity and our playfulness dim down more and more. We simply don’t have time for it anymore because life keeps us so busy. We need to be productive, efficient, effective and successful. We need to fit into the boxes of expectations of our parents, our teachers, our employers, our doctors, our country… 

For a long time, we think this is it. This is just what life is. We enjoy the little moments of joy, when there is a short pause of permanent nervousness and stress from endless thinking and projecting the past into the future. A pause of trying and solving and running in the hamster wheel. 

This continues until something happens that makes you hit the brakes. This is a very individual experience. But the common denominator of any of those experiences is a shock that forces you to stop. The common denominator after this shock is a questioning of the nature of your reality as you perceive it. 

Although the experience might seem absolutely cruel and very painful, it is your chance of breaking free from the things you have learned and took for granted. If you take that chance, what lies ahead is the quest of your life. An adventure that explores the outer and later inner depths of your life experience. ”Who am I, and why am I here?,” is the driving question that takes you into a thorough investigation. It is a learning by playing with existence. A figuring out of the backend algorithm and how you are inseparably linked to its codes and dynamics. It is a dance with the fears you have learned and the limitless love and joy you feel when you are not caught up in the constructed stories of your mind. It is your search for meaning and purpose. 


The grail is such a powerful symbol and its mythical characteristic makes it perfect to describe the quest we go on to find eternal life. The fear of the inevitable unites us all in this grand game. How can we be so afraid of something inevitable as death? Why do we try to prevent it at all cost? The holy grail is interpreted by the mind as the solution to that problem. To find eternal life. To live on forever. Our beautiful mind plays tricks on us to keep on protecting our life at all cost. As long as we only see us, our individual self, we see a beginning and an end. That is all we are busy with. When we live from the mind, we are completely separated from our true nature. Our connection to the backend of reality. And through it our interconnectedness with all things. Quantum physics just starts to scratch the surface of the, to the linear mind, completely illogical fractal nature of life. Only when we take a holistic perspective, like a scientist observing the activities in a petri dish, can we see that there is no beginning and no end. Life just continues. Life IS eternal. It keeps evolving, shapeshifting, reorganizing, exploring new ways… No beginning, no end. All there is, is experience.


Being outside of the petri dish gives us an idea of consciousness, too. When we talk about the ”Expansion of Consciousness,” what does that really mean? What is consciousness? And is there such a thing as its ”evolution”? Is there something like dimensions? The answer – as always – is a paradox. There is, and there is not. Depending whether you are in the petri dish or outside of it. Although from a perspective of consciousness there is no difference between inside or outside of a dish. Because the dish itself does not exist! Ha! Isn’t that fun? 

So, let’s go back into the petri dish for a moment for this thought experiment. In here, there are different species, animals, plants, rocks, …

Each one of those experiences and perceives life through different ”operating systems” and through a different hardware (physical form). Some have a nervous system with different highlighted senses, others have sap, or crystals and minerals etc. If we take the human as a species, we have a very evolved hardware, and a much larger capacity of reading the software than we are making use of. We have many filters in place that distort our view of reality. Those filters are created by belief systems and trauma patterns, which form ”our truth.” They are blocking the access to a much wider perspective. Nevertheless, we can see that there has been an evolution of the organism called humanity. It has learned to organize itself in different ways, and has learned many ways of how to not do it over the course (the illusion) of time. And it will keep on evolving and learning and shifting and changing. The same happens with other species. Evolution is part of the game. Consciousness is experiencing itself in a great variety of physical forms that seem to be separate, and yet are all interconnected. So, when you take the totality of all there is, observing it from the outside of the dish – Consciousness is never evolving or expanding. It is just playing.


So, what will happen with humanity as it keeps “evolving and expanding” its consciousness? It will remember and access more and more of the backend algorithm of reality. More and more individual members of the whole organism of humanity will develop a larger understanding about our abilities and superpowers as an organism. At this very moment, humanity is heading into a big evolutionary paradigm shift. Until now, humanity has had a major flaw, an autoimmune disease, where members of the organism are actively hurting other members constantly because of an illusion of being separated from the rest. This is about to change. 

Before a system (and everything that is in some way organized is a system) can change, it needs to break down. After the breakdown it can reorganize in a different way. Such breakdowns are experienced as dark and fearful times for most people. The individual survival fear kicks in. Simply because of the missing ability of tuning out of the mind’s hamster wheel view, and seeing life for what it is and how it operates. Although the breakdown seems to be collective, it is actually a breakdown within each individual. Some have their breakdowns sooner than others to learn about the dynamics and how to move through it to become strong lighthouses, standing steady as a rock in the big storm, for those that follow. The breakdown marks the beginning of the hero’s journey. The individual quest to remembrance. The quest you need to walk alone, while the lighthouses are there to give you some hints and ”tricks” of how to navigate. 

The future of humanity is actually very bright, although it might seem like the complete opposite at the moment, as one catastrophe follows the next, and menaces and bad surprises seem to wait around every corner. First the pandemic, then the war, the climate change, then the incoming economic crisis just to name a few. All of it is the breakdown. A system coming to its end. Chaos is a necessary intermediate state. A better word for chaos is reformation, as old structures break, so new structures can be built. This happens in nature every single day. The laws that govern this petri dish cannot be ignored forever. At some point, a course correction takes place. And that is where we are right now. 


The meaning of life has been the driving question for humans. For many it becomes an obsession, wanting to figure it all out, mainly to have control and to be ”ahead in the race for survival.” Those are the attempts in vain when being inside the petri dish. It can drive people crazy, bring great depression or absolute megalomania. 

Even for those that choose a quieter path of just dipping the toe into a broader understanding of figuring out what life is all about by reading and researching online, taking master classes, going to sit in a guru’s presence etc., it does not bring upon any satisfaction, transformation or permanent joy. The inner void we are trying to fill by accumulating knowledge and things is unquenchable as long as we don’t dive into the void itself. 

There is so much knowledge we can acquire. The sources of knowledge are endless. We can read books and watch videos our whole life to try to come closer to the truth. But non of it is useful in the material plane, if we don’t really dare to go and live it. Embody it. That is when we start playing with existence and are connecting the dots. We become scientists ”in the field” (in the petri dish) and are experiencing, observing, contemplating and integrating. This is how we ”expand” our consciousness, and we experience more and more connection instead of separation. When taking that leap, life becomes a lot more colorful, a lot more reflective, and a lot more emotional and intense for a while. We no longer avoid our fear, we are stepping into it, and we are feeling it. Emotions are our built-in mechanism to transform energy from a lower to a higher frequency. It is the only transformational mechanism we have. If we learn how to use this awesome tool correctly by expressing our emotions constructively (instead of destructively, when projected on self or others), we literally make quantum leaps. The thought spirals of permanent worry and planning end, we become emotionally balanced, and we heal physically. We come into equilibrium, and with it into a vitality never experienced before. Yet, as long as we avoid emotion, we keep looping, and keep feeling incomplete, no matter what explanations or excuses our mind comes up with. We have to break through our resistance, many times. And with it, learning what is a fear we don’t want to address, and what is truly just not resonating. Note: This can also mean to dare to express a boundary out of self-respect, of what we do not accept in our life.

As long as we feel resistance, there is work to do, and it will keep showing up in our reality, until we finally deal with it. When it is just not resonating, we are not even noticing it, or have forgotten about it the next moment. 


We ALL have trauma patterns. And we ALL can transform them, if we can find the courage to dive into our own inner shadow landscape, instead of staying in victim consciousness. And that is just so, so, so important. Because there is NO WAY for any change to come in, if we are just sitting at home waiting for the Universe to serve us or if we are trying to do the same things we have done before, just harder – and expecting a different outcome. Same formulas do not create a different result.
Change comes, and evolution comes, when we start behaving differently. And it hurts, many times. On a hero’s journey you go, you do, you experiment… and you fail, stumble and fall many times. But what the mind defines as failure is so far from the truth. Because failure, the mistake, is not a mistake at all. It is PURE GOLD. It is our way of learning how to not do it, and taking the essence of that lesson with us to integrate it into our further journey. The mission that has no other goal than returning back home to ourselves. To our essence. That is the holy grail. The holy grail is the secret of truly being yourself. And at the end of that very transformational journey, there is no prize, there is no reward. There is illumination – in a very different way from what we think illumination is. It is not being a Buddha, just sitting under a tree, meditating and having all this wisdom available. It is much more embodied than that. And we need to be aware of the fact that this is the whole point of being here. The point is to discover the magic, the purpose, way outside of our comfort zone. WAY OUTSIDE. To play with existence. To realize fear of consequence does not exist. 

We need to push through our fears many, many times. It is not one dark night of the soul. It is not one learning we are going through. It is a permanent journey and evolution. It is not one leap of faith. It is thousands leaps of faith that we take against the odds. And against everything we have learned. Because that is exactly the direction that leads us back home. That is what it serves for. For our own independence, breaking free from co-dependence. We cannot expect transformation through outside influence. The outside influence is always only the trigger, be it emotionally or physically. We need to do the inner shadow work. Nobody can heal you but yourself. No machine, no medbed, no drug, no shamanic medicine, no pill, no therapy. They can only treat symptoms, but will not change the root cause, to which only you have the (emotional) key. Nothing can heal us if we are not looking inside, and if we are not taking responsibility for our own patterns and feelings.  

For a long time, the mind wants references to understand a process in which there is nothing to understand. It just happens. And yet – nothing ever happens if we don’t go and seek for it. As a human being, we need to exhaust ourselves (this is meant in a very good way), to drop all attachments to anything we have, we know, we want. 

On a sidenote, don’t be distracted by the astrology and all the cosmic happenings. The solar storms. The cosmic energy coming in. The volcanoes erupting, the Schumann Resonance spiking. It is all true. And it can be a helpful tool to navigate. But it is easy to fall into victim consciousness and blame all of our pain and moodiness on those events. Remember, the external factors merely serve as a trigger for your own healing. Nothing can change the outside, unless you change it in your inside. We, as humanity have already passed the point of no return. There is no return to the comfort zone. Everyone is under pressure and sooner or later forced to deal with what is unresolved inside. The event is not a one-time event, a flash when everything changes. We are already in the middle of ”the Event.” It is a period in linear time, when a shift in consciousness of our species is happening. The event happens for you, when you keep looking inside. 

So this is how we roll :)This is how we learn and evolve. By experiencing with awareness. By failing, reflecting, feeling, integrating and moving forward. We observe ourselves, the dynamics within us and around us, we discover more and more correlations when we are no longer focused on the stories out there, and the stories our mind is trying to sell us. When we look into the backend, we can see that the patterns are very simple, and always the same. The stories are what make them seem so complex and complicated. 


The more we learn to navigate beyond the many individual and collective stories and narratives, the more we start moving into the opposite direction of everything and everyone else. Against all odds. Being absolutely truthful to our values and ourselves. OUR ESSENCE. A major part of this whole quest, this hero’s journey, is to remember that essence. Our individual unique splendor. Who you are, and why you began this journey called life in the first place. What is YOUR function in this grand organism you are part of. What is YOUR contribution to the evolution and growth of humanity, leading to a different experience and a different world. 

For a long while it seems impossible that you could ever go back to that old world again. And yet, there comes a point where this Zen Buddhist phrase ”Before enlightenment, you chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, you chop wood, carry water” makes perfect sense. You go back, and you do what you did before. But you do it with a completely different attitude and perspective. With no trauma, no ego, no expectations, no inner void left. It changes the experience entirely, because you simply live life, as you and share your essence. 

You become authentic when you have been on your hero’s journey. People can feel the truth in everything you are sharing, because you have lived it yourself, you are walking it every day, and are not just quoting some professor, scientist, self-help book or guru. 

No. This is about you and all the scars you had to experience and to address and to heal. That is what makes you authentic. That is what makes you truthful. What makes you reliable and trustworthy. Anything else is just another theory. Anything else is just another teaching without any earthly weight to it. 


As much as our mind hates the idea, uncertainty is the new normal. Simply because there is no more past to refer to or future to plan and then walk towards it. Instead, we are reading real time data here and now, and act on the impulses that we feel. And when there is no impulse, we do not act. We are no longer a cell of an organism gone rogue. Instead, we trust the higher intelligence that connects us with everything else, and we closely listen to its signals and codes. This is way easier said then done, and it takes many, many rounds of stepping into the uncomfortable fears, resistance we feel, until we can receive the signal without any distortions or doubts.

Moving into the unknowable is only uncomfortable as long as we distrust life. Once we fully trust, we are literally walking in a new dimension, a new frequency band with different dynamics and rules. There is no more linear, manipulative cause and effect of ”if I do this, then this happens.” or ”if you don’t do this, then this happens.” Instead, cause and effect happens in a fractal way. You do something, and it has an impact on the whole quantum field. It shifts things, but often invisibly. It is the ripple of the butterfly effect. 

That way, ripple by ripple, the new paradigm is built. That is what we are here for, in this physical experience. To find new ways to build something completely different. We are not using the old ways to build something new. That mainly includes the question of ”how do we organize ourselves as humanity,” when we are no longer separate, but when we all form part of that single superorganism, where we all contribute with our unique function based on our essence, following the impulses as described before, after we have gone through our hero’s journey.

It is a completely new model of society. Everything is done from scratch and will replace what we have now. All other experiments of models, be it communism, capitalism, dictatorships, tribalism, feudalism… All of them were built on the belief system of separation and survival. This time, we build on unity and thriving. So, there is no reference point in human history. The only reference we have is nature and her laws and dynamics. Nature helps us to remember how it works. And how to build. We have exciting times ahead!

On this quest for the holy grail, you will be tested many times if you are going to compromise your essence, and the underlying, unconditional values of that essence. It gets lonesome many times. Because people will not understand what you are doing. They might think you are crazy. They might abandon you because you are too intense, because you remind them of their own fears. They might try to get you back to being “normal.”

There are many disappointments. Many frustrations. Many almosts and failing again. But there are also many beautiful moments. Many AHAs. Many moments of heartfelt connection with all there is. Connections with people. Love, hugs. Fellow journeyers that come and go in their own timing. 

Ascension or Awakening is an experience full of paradoxes. And it needs to be that way – as it is the only way to become aware of the fact that there is much more than what we can see through our limiting filters. Those filters need to be challenged with permanent paradoxical cognitive dissonances. This way, we first start questioning, and later challenging the status quo. 

Awakening has nothing to do with mystical experiences. It has nothing to do with angels or saints appearing, or receiving divine messages. Those experiences might point you further into direction of awakening, but they can also become a huge distraction. 

”True awakening simply sees through everything and has nothing whatsoever to do with behavior or experience. Neither does awakening come and go. When it comes, it stays forever.” – Richard Rudd

Nevertheless – whether we do it consciously or unconsciously, each single one of us humans is contributing: Together we are honing and finetuning the masterpiece we all came here to create together: A New Paradigm of true prosperity and sustainability for ALL. 

The texts I share are always based on my intuition and/or on experiences of clients and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you. With lots of light and love, Vera Ingeborg 
The Wake Up Experience

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