I recently had an amazing session with my chiropractor that does so much more than chiropractic. Lately, we’ve been working on my feet. I’ve been experiencing foot pains/misalignment that is characteristic of someone with a spinal fusion. Yet, I knew it wasn’t about the fusion but something completely deeper. I have had to consistently work with my foot chakras to keep them open.

As we were working, I told him about my foot pain and how I believe it is correlated to not being able to fully ground through my feet. As I was saying these words, I had a vision of my feet in sandals, I was in a long skirt or tunic down to my ankles. The ground beneath my feet was a red/brown rocky earth. I could feel that with every step I took I was anchored into the earth. Through the roots I felt coming from my feet I shared myself with the earth and she shared herself with me. I felt such a deep connection, happiness, and purpose.

I knew I was being shown my lifetime as an Essene. I explored this lifetime about 18 months ago during a QHHT session. I had gone into the session with the hopes of understanding this deep fear that I had of doing something wrong. It was a block that I had pushed against my whole life. During the QHHT session, I was guided to the lifetime where the imprint/programming was created.

I saw myself running up a hill, I was in a panic. My heart was in my throat. My mind was full of prayers that what I feared couldn’t be true. I crested the hill to see a large field with so many crucifixes lined up. My insides shook as I began to run down the hill towards the field. As soon as I got close enough to see the people being crucified and I knew that they were my fellow brother and sister Essenes. My horror only grew as I realized that children and young adults were not spared either. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We all knew that we were at risk and the more the people demanded a sacrifice, an end to the upheaval created by Yeshua, the greater the danger became. We had even begun hiding, laying low.

Yet, never in my wildest dreams did I think they would do this to those they caught. I knew these people, I loved these people. My intention was brought to a particular crucifix and to my absolute horror I realized it was my grandson. He was a proud strong young man, that must have fought with all of his might as his face was swollen, and his body was bloodied and bruised.

It was like my world stopped and the most wretched sound came forth from me as I screamed “My grandson is being crucified!!!” People dragged me away so that I too wouldn’t be caught as I had just identified myself.

I kept thinking that I had done everything right. I was devout, I followed the rules. I had worked for years and years to help bring the child of light, Yeshua, into the world. I had worked to plant seeds for the time when many children of light would come in. I lived a heart-centered life full of connection, I had helped so many and yet this tragedy had befallen me. It was truly a “Why God have you forsaken me?” moment. My traumatized mind came to only one conclusion, I must have done something wrong. I must have sinned or failed God in something way.

The QHHT practitioner pulled me from the scene so that I could see it from a higher perspective and detach from the emotion. She said that I had made this keening sound and my body was arching on the table. It was a very visceral reaction.

From a higher perspective, I began working with my highest aspect. She explained that within the human experience is the duality of right/wrong, good/bad, light/dark, and all of this leads to the system of punishment and reward.

Within this duality programming comes the belief that if someone is right, good, light, etc they will live a life of reward. Likewise, if someone is wrong, bad, dark, etc they will be punished and experience pain. It is the heaven/hell paradigm playing out in everyday life.

On a logical level, we all know that this is nonsense. Painful, tragic things happen to good people all the time. Likewise, we can see those that could be judged as bad seemingly living a life of reward.

Yet, on a deeper subconscious level, we are not always able to hold on to that logic. We see this very clearly in abused children that deep within believe they must have deserved the abuse. We can even see the programming within the spiritual community in how karma is defined. Many see karma as a good/bad, reward/punishment, or cause and effect.

It was explained to me from a higher perspective that it is all learning experiences. Not to be judged as good or bad, right or wrong.  In that lifetime the soul that was my grandson wanted to experience extreme persecution for one’s beliefs. I agreed and contracted to assist him in that experience. For me, it was the experience that helped me to understand the dichotomy of feeling completely connected, held, purposeful, and still going through absolute devastation.

In many ways, I can see why it was necessary. It is easy to have faith and trust when everything is smooth and pain-free. Traumatic events ask us if we can stay detached from the paradigm of duality and judgment. Can we maintain our connection to God, to All that is, when things do not go as we planned?

As all of this was explained to me I understood how easy it is to get lost in the guilt, shame, and judgment of this reality. I truly believed that I had done something wrong and as a result that acute loss was my punishment.

In this lifetime I brought forward the feeling that I had done something wrong. This non-descript under current led to me being a people-pleasing doormat that put others first. Over the past 15 years, I have shifted so many of the ways that I had dishonored myself. Yet now I’m taking it even deeper, healing it completely by getting to the belief system responsible.

For the past 18 months, I have been integrating what I learned in the QHHT session. Sometimes it takes significant time to digest the deeper lessons and rewrite the programming. I have been shown where it has been so easy for me not to judge others but have been unable to extend myself the same grace. Likewise, I have understood the need for all experiences and that they are simply ways that we learn. But yet again, I would then judge my own experiences. It’s quite the double standard as I held myself to impossible levels that I didn’t hold others to.

I have done incredible work to shift these themes, however, my feet were showing me that I still had more work to do.

As I lay on the chiropractic table the words that came to me were “Are you ready to trust fully again?”

Can I trust in Divine timing? Can I trust that all is working out as it should? As we go through this ascension cycle, it can feel as if we are being shaken to the point that the screws and the bolts are coming loose. It can feel as if at any moment the entire thing is going to fall apart.

Trust means that even if it all does fall apart, I will know that that is meant to be for whatever reason on a cosmic/divine level. Can I trust that no matter how the story plays out that I am safe at a deep soul level? Can I truly trust all as an experience of learning and not as a reward/punishment for what I or humanity did or didn’t do?

As I breathed in the words that it is time to fully trust again, I felt tingling in my feet. My body yearns to be fully grounded, fully connected to the earth without holding back. Everything in me urges me to live fully, to BE HERE NOW.

To be fully present, fully connected no matter what. It cannot be conditional, I either am or I am not.

My body felt so different after the session, it had let go of a huge weight. I felt my feet shift and upon putting on my shoes I decided I needed new ones. My old ones were molded to the feet that couldn’t quite ground, couldn’t quite commit to walking this earth fully no matter what. This morning I went for a walk in my new shoes and it was a level of connection I hadn’t yet experienced in this lifetime. I also realized there were muscles in my legs that have not been properly used before as an unfamiliar muscle ache is present.

I share this because so many of us have been working through incredibly deep themes. The reward/punishment one is huge as it connects us to the matrix of fear and limitation. It is time to set ourselves free. To be here now, walking this earth in our full glory with zero expectation of how it’s supposed to be. It just simply is. It is the collapse of a paradigm.

As this shift goes to even deeper level the words “KEEP GOING” ring through my mind. We are BECOMING by ending the beliefs and limitations that we’ve held for eons.

I am sending you all lots of love. Thank you so much to all those that support and share this work. It seems that my reach is being greatly shadowed on social media.

Jenny

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