12 Good Reasons You Should Give Up Your Self-Importance
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- Written by Luminita D. Saviuc

“Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” ~ Carlos Castaneda
SELF-IMPORTANCE
Whether we like to admit it or not, self-importance is our greatest enemy. As Carlos Castaneda discovered, what hurts and weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives being offended by someone. And when you’re always on the lookout, always looking for things to feel offended and annoyed by, you are left with no energy for the things that truly matter in life.
12 Good Reasons You Should Give Up Your Self-Importance
1. Give up your self-importance for peace of mind.
There is nothing in this world worth more than your peace of mind; nothing more valuable than living your life from a place of inner peace, contentment and serenity. And when you let go… when you give up this exhausting need to be offended by whatever happens ‘out there’ – what others do, or don’t do; how they think, behave and live their lives – you return to a place of inner peace and regain your serenity.
2. Give up your self-importance for better health.
If people would only realize the pain and stress they inflict upon themselves – whenever they react to whatever happens ‘out there’ – and how much their mental, emotional and physical health is affected by this constant need to feel offended by the deeds and misdeeds of their fellowmen, they would give up their self-importance without blinking an eye and choose to enjoy better health instead.
3. Give up your self-importance to heal yourself.
You do not attack another because of the darkness you think you see in them; you attack them because of the darkness you are too afraid to admit that is deeply rooted within you.
When you judge and attack another, you judge and attack a part of yourself that is in desperate need of healing, hurting and wounding yourself, and making war where there is great need of your love, wisdom and understanding.
However, when you finally decide to put aside this unhealthy need to look for faults and attack the darkness that always seems to be present in another, never within yourself and give up your self-importance, you are brought face to face with your own darkness… to heal and redeem the parts of you that were trapped by these shadows and go through a process of deep healing and regeneration.
4. Give up your self-importance to stop living in fear.
“When we don’t see the self as self, what do we have to fear?” ~ Lao-Tzu
Although the mind will argue and fight against it, the truth of the matter is that the self is nothing but a fearful creation; a fabrication of the mind that is constantly looking for reasons to get offended. And the moment you decide to move past your self-importance, this fearful creation will slowly dissolve and you will remember who you truly are.
When you don’t see the self as self, what do you have to fear? What do you have to cling onto… what do you have to attack, protect, offend and defend? What is there to get all worked out over when you no longer see the self as self?
5. Give up your self-importance to remember how to love again.
If you are always looking for reasons to get offended, you will find them. And in finding them, you will make your life a living hell. However, if you choose to give that up and move past your imaginary self-importance, you will discover that it is far better to open your heart – to love and be loved – than to suffer needlessly by clinging to your self-importance.
6. Give up your self-importance to see things clearly.
To believe in all that you see is to suffer from a lack of imagination. Just as there is more to life than what meets the eye, there is also more to you and your fellowmen than what you see, think and are led to believe. But in order for you to realize this great truth and see through the inner eyes of love, no longer with the outer eyes of fear, you must be ready and willing to give up your self-importance.
7. Give up your self-importance to regain your dignity.
One of the most painful things for people is to give up their self-importance. They hold on to it as though it were the treasure of all treasures. When in truth, there is absolutely nothing valuable in that. The only treasure is to be found in giving it up to regain their dignity and self-respect.
8. Give up your self-importance to unburden yourself… and your fellowmen.
“People with opinions just go around bothering one another.” ~ Buddha
The day will come when our eyes will finally open and we will all realize that it was never about changing others; never about ‘fixing,’ ‘saving,’ ‘correcting’ and ‘punishing’ the ‘evil doers’ of the world. But rather about purifying, cleansing and sanctifying ourselves.
The world is our mirror. It always reflects back at us what is deeply rooted within ourselves. And when you give up your self-importance and choose to sow love – in all the places where there was once only evil, hatred and discord – you will awaken from the dream of life and discover that there was never an enemy ‘out there.’ The only enemy was within yourself.
9. Give up your self-importance for joy and woe.
“Man was made for Joy and Woe. And when this we rightly know thro the world we safely go. Joy & Woe are woven fine clothing for the soul divine. Under every grief and pine runs a joy with silken twine.” ~ William Blake
You were made for joy and woe. And when this you rightly know… through the world you safely go – fearing nothing, judging no one, and exchanging your self-importance for the gift of joy and woe.
10. Give up your self-importance to regain your freedom.
There is no greater freedom than moving past your self-importance; no greater sense of relief than rising above your earthly limitations.
When you love, you let go. When you fear, you cling onto your self-importance.
Why?
Because you see the world through distorted lenses and you think that your freedom lies in changing others, and not in mastering your own self.
11. Give up your self-importance to focus on improving yourself.
Your time is precious. Your energy as well. Do not waste them on petty little things. Leave the world alone and focus on you instead.
If you want the other to be loving, become loving yourself. If you want the other to be just, kind, generous and truthful, be all these things yourself.
Do not go around using the malice in others to justify your own. For that is being dishonest, not only towards others but towards yourself as well. Become all that you want to see in others. And the others will slowly, but surely reflect this change.
12. Give up your self-importance and fall back in love with life.
In the end, it will not matter what others did, or didn’t do. But what you yourself did or didn’t do.
Waste not your life away.
Find the things you love and give your love to that. Fall in love with yourself and the life you are now living and forget about what others are doing. Do not make their lives more important than your own. Leave others alone. And get busy with loving life again.
~love, Luminita
Luminita d. Saviuc
Luminita, the founder of purposefairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 things you should give up to be happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 things you should give up to be happy, book that will be published by penguin random house in march 2016. For more details check out the about page.
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