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Embracing Who You Are
Written by Matt Kahn
You may have been mistreated in this way.
I offer these words to help you heal:
Who we are has absolutely nothing to do with a sense of self-importance over others or portraying a label as being more or less relevant to any other individualized form. ‘Who’ refers to the embracing and identification with your highest ethics and values -- who meaning: who are you throughout a series of important choices? Who are you when the odds seem stacked against you? Who are you in your most desperate moment of decision-making, even if no one is looking?
Superman is a great example. He didn't acquire the name by deciding he was super. He built a reputation by doing incredible things in the name of helping others.
I offer this insight to remedy a subtle but common misstep along the journey. It is where a certain number of spiritual beings really latch on to insights such as Ramana Maharshi's "Who are you?" inquiry-- an inquiry which is helpful during very specific stages of awakening. But if utilized conversationally, it can actually come across in dogmatic fashion like a spiritual power play, where someone using their identity reference of 'who' is made to feel wrong or inferior for not seeming to know what others may have read or experienced.
An example of this would be someone saying, “Wow. What a difficult day.” In response, another person asks, “And who is the one having such a difficult day?” In this example, the other person has used a teaching to assume the role of a corrector or rescuer the other person didn’t solicit. Even though a person may be having a difficult day and open to expressing it in search of greater support, their level of consciousness doesn’t need to be judged or called into question by assuming they need to know what so many spiritual egos are chomping at the bit to repeat or act out.
The person was simply looking for comfort — not a reframe. Another example is barking out, “No low vibes!” when someone is in pain or fear. Especially when another person’s torment seems to interrupt the buzz of someone else’s fluctuating emotional state.
In its most innocent context, spiritual beings tend to lead with some form of correcting as a means of trying to be helpful. But helpfulness is only offered through processes such as reframing once someone has made it clear they invite your help in response to their curiosity, confusion, or concern.
More likely than not, a spiritual ego assumes the role of a rescuer through a pattern of co-dependency. When this occurs, a rescuer thinks they are helping to spare someone of suffering, when in reality, they are attempting to fast-track someone’s experience in order to spare themselves the despair they don’t wish to feel around others. Avoidance can be a tricky thing. Even when you no longer bypass your own emotional density, it is easy to project avoidance towards the difficulties others are processing by trying to quickly move them along, instead of deciding whether or not you are able to hold space for another person’s journey — no matter how slow the shifts may be.
All too often, the tendencies that well-read egos act out is an unconscious pattern I refer to as ‘spiritual karaoke’. Just as people love living out moments where they get to feel like their favorite recording artists on stage, many spiritual beings salivate at the opportunities to impose their will onto others, hoping to replicate the presence, shifts, and grace perhaps their most revered guru or favorite teacher demonstrated in a moment of discourse with students.
I have discussed this very distinction with Ramana Maharshi's soul in the astral realm. I met with him to ask permission to expand and ground what is often taught as an overly masculine process of deconstruction with an equal balance of feminine heart and masculine humility.
Despite how people may misuse teachings like Ramana’s process of self-inquiry, The Bhagavad Gita, or even A Course In Miracles as unsolicited forms of correction — there is a "who" existing in you. It is who you are in the quality of your choices. This is not about negating the uniqueness of individuality in favor of hiding in an inferiority complex, or walking this Earth like a ghost just because we’re unsure how and where to fit in. It's about being helpful toward yourself and others. Whether inspired by the helpers around you or inspiring others by the help you provide, it is the infinite power of helpfulness that dissolves hatred, transmutes hurt, and even moves you beyond the need for endless healing.
Sooner rather than later, we will be living in a world of so many helpers, the collective won't need to hate, hurt, or heal in order to activate the helper in all. Until that day dawns, let's make our decisions count by demonstrating our highest standard of ethics to the best of our abilities through the beauty of personal conduct. As always, let's keep loving ourselves more, not less, whether succeeding wildly or fumbling through each step.
This is how we shift from victim to spiritual bad ass. A spiritual bad ass sees many things, but knows no other. They only know the grace of their most inspired response, as it heals the outer layers of the One Eternal Self — being decorated as a world of people, places, and things. This is simply because a spiritual bad ass is fundamentally who you are, no matter how much vastness you've tasted, heard of, or read about.
May all who read these words be blessed and healed.
Love be thy name.
All For Love,
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