Alona and Cristina had been close friends for over fifteen years.  Actually, for lifetimes. They knew they were soul mates from the moment they met.  Over the years they shared the highs and the lows, the joys and the sorrows of life.  They were there for one another through thick and thin.

At one point neither could imagine life on the planet without the other.  Their friendship ebbed and flowed over the years.  Cristina moved out of the area a couple of times.  Alona felt a deep sadness to see her go.  But they would invariably stay in touch, wherever life took them.

But, within the past couple of years,  Alona was sensing something happening.  Her own life was changing in deep and unexpected ways.  In ways that she could not even share adequately with Cristina.  It was beginning to feel like their friendship was changing.  She found it more difficult to connect with her friend in the way she used to.

She would have recurring dreams of trying to call Cristina by phone but couldn’t make the connection.  In the dreams Cristina’s cell phone had poor or no reception.  And interestingly, in the waking state, that was true.  It was always difficult to hear Cristina’s voice over her phone.  Alona would joke with her friend and ask her to please upgrade to an iPhone!

Cristina was slowly moving out of a series of toxic relationships.  Alona had done so herself and was happy to see her friend choosing more self-love.  Alona knew that now the real work would begin.  Cristina would now have to go through her own awakening.

But Alona sensed that her friend still had a way to go, to allow her soul to be a part of her life.

Cristina was a beautiful soul and had much wisdom.  But it became clear to Alona that Cristina was not ready to face herself and her deeper feelings.  Alona had gone through her dark night of the soul, and knew that it was a necessary step toward self-love and self realization.

IT’S STILL LOVE

Alona also realized that she and her friend had relied upon each other. They were holding an energy for each other.  It served them both, but now it was time to set that dependency free. Alona knew that it would make her very sad, but she had to let the relationship go. She knew it was time for both of them to become the sovereign women they were meant to be.  She knew in her soul that it would be painful, but it was based in love.

Yet she found it hard to do.  How can she just end this lifetimes-long relationship?

Over time Cristina sensed that Alona was not invested in the friendship like before.  She thought she had done something to upset Alona.  But Alona reassured Cristina she had done nothing wrong.  Alona explained that her life seems to have taken her to a radically different place, and that now she needed to devote herself to the relationship with her soul.

At first Christina said she understood and she just wanted her friend to be happy.  But after a few days, she wrote her friend, and was very angry.  She felt Alona’s behavior was passive-aggressive and that she had shut the door on her friendship, and that they were supposed to be soul mates.

Alona felt very guilty.  What had she done?  She felt she had betrayed her dearest friend.  Especially now that Cristina had already lost two important people in her life.  How could a true friend act this way?  Isn’t a friend someone who is there for you in your time of such need?

Alona thought about the situation deeply for a few days.  She wanted to write to her friend.  Or should she just call her up, invite her over?  Maybe they could talk about it.  After all, they talked about things for hours together in the past.

But none of that felt right to Alona.  In her heart she felt that this was the right thing to do, first for herself, and also for her friend.

Alona began to feel sad and fearful and filled with guilt.  How could this be, she wondered, for she felt so good about her decision.  She felt clear.  Then all this guilt.  What if her friend is really hurt by this and never recovers?  What if Alona made a terrible mistake and has lost the best friend she ever had?  She remembered all the sweet and intimate moments in which they both shared their experiences…their challenges with their respective relationships with family and with the men in their lives.  They had many good laughs and tears together.

A KNOWINGNESS

Then she felt a knowingness come over her.  Alona’s biggest issue in this lifetime has been guilt.  And Cristina’s  was feeling abandoned…not feeling wanted or loved.  She and her friend spent many hours discussing that with each other.

So here was a beautiful opportunity for both women to acknowledge their emotions to themselves.  Now was the opportunity for Cristina, if she chooses, to face her feelings of betrayal and abandonment – to recognize that she is not a victim and finally allow her soul to love her, acknowledge her and see her worth and magnificence.

Now was the opportunity for Alona to recognize the guilt for what it is.  To see that it is a learned response which allowed others to make her responsible for their pain or their joy.  So guilt came in as a punishment for following her heart, and doing what she felt was best for herself.  Now was the opportunity for Alona to see she has a choice to not feel guilt.  Now came the opportunity to see that Cristina is not a victim of any betrayal or abandonment, and was bringing this experience to herself just as much as Alona was.

And maybe in time the two friends can reunite,  But for now they have the opportunity to move into a new and profound place of self-love.  Of self-discovery.  Of self-reliance.  And  true Mastery.