A+ A A-

How to Deal with Passive Aggressive People

passive-agressive

Passive aggression is a form of anger, except the anger is expressed with a smile instead of the typical expressions. Passive aggressive people are experts at sugar coating hostility. They often use procrastination, bumbling inefficiency, and the exasperating excuse of “I forgot” to avoid commitments or let you down. They appear eager to please, but know exactly how to make you mad. They can be infuriating because of their seductive or innocent veneers.

Here are some examples:

  • Your spouse brings home yet another gallon of ice cream after you've specifically asked him or her not to do this because you are trying to lose weight.
  • A friend keeps arriving an hour late for a dinner date leaving you waiting over and over again.
  • A co-worker keeps promising to help with a project but never comes through.

Passive aggressive behavior ranges from simply irritating to manipulative and punishing. This is different from occasionally being absent-minded, lazy, or busy. Passive aggression is repetitive and has a covert angry edge to it. Passive aggressive people promise anything, then do exactly as they please. They hide anger beneath a compliant exterior. They don’t give straight answers and have vague responses such as “I’ll get back to you.” Then they don’t follow through so you must keep reminding them. Sometimes their remarks can be hurtful, especially so because they come at you sideways--you don’t know what hit you.

Why do people become passive aggressive?

They’re typically raised in families where it’s not safe to express anger--they’re never taught to communicate it in a healthy manner. They adapt by channeling these feelings into other less obvious behaviors; this gives them a sense of power and control. They’re masters at shirking responsibility by hurting you in ways that appear unintentional or unavoidable. Passive aggressive people operate by stuffing anger, being accommodating, and then indirectly sticking it to you. When confronted, they’ll drive you crazy with a variety of “the dog ate my homework” excuses, blaming others, or yessing you to death without changing. Since many are unaware of their anger, they feel misunderstood or that you’re holding them to unfair standards.

Here are tips on how to communicate with passive aggressive people from my book The Ecstasy of Surrender. To learn about other types of draining people read my article The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide

Learning to Communicate With Passive Aggressive People

1.Trust Your Gut Reactions

With these types you may question yourself since their anger is so masked. It’s important to recognize the pattern. Their mixed messages will test your patience. So when you doubt yourself, take a breath and try to let the doubt go. Tell yourself, “I deserve to be treated more lovingly. I will trust my gut reaction when I feel jabbed.” This affirmation helps you release doubt so you’d don’t convince yourself you’re imagining things. Then move forward to improve communication. You must surrender the idea that these people will change without you speaking up. They aren’t motivated to change unless someone calls them on their behavior. When it’s not appropriate to be direct, such as with a boss who might retaliate or fire you, keep letting the zingers go by accepting your powerlessness to change him.

2. Address the behavior

Focus on one issue at a time so people don’t feel attacked or overwhelmed. Let’s say a friend is always late. In a calm, firm tone say to her, “I would greatly appreciate it if you can be on time when we go out to dinner. I feel uncomfortable waiting in a restaurant alone.” Then notice her reaction. She might say, “You’re right. I’m always running behind. I’ll try to be more organized.” Then see if the lateness improves. If she is evasive or makes excuses, request clarification about how to solve the problem. If you can’t get a straight answer, confront that too. Being specific pins down passive aggressive people. If nothing changes, keep setting limits or stop making dinner plans. With a close friend who continues to be late, it’s always an option to accept and acclimate to his or her shortcoming when the pros of the relationship outweigh the cons.

As a psychiatrist I teach my patients to address passive aggressive behavior directly as the person may not be aware of the impact on you since they are short on empathy. Hopefully you won’t have many passive aggressive people in your life, but if you do, clear communication is a form of empowerment.

How to Spot an Energy Vampire


judith_orloff

(Excerpt from Dr. Judith Orloff's national bestseller  The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life Harmony Books, 2014 by Judith Orloff MD)

Judith Orloff MD is a psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and NY Times bestselling author. Her latest book is The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your life. Her other bestsellers are Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your LifePositive EnergySecond Sight, and Guide to Intuitive Healing. Dr. Orloff combines traditional medicine with intuition, spirituality, and energy medicine. More information at www.drjudithorloff.com.

Source Here

 

CrystalWind.ca is free to access and use.
Please support us with a small gift of $11.11 or $22.22 or $33.33. 
Thank you! 
ॐ Namasté - Blessings!
"Life is an echo, what you send out comes back."

© 2008-2021 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.

  Please buy us a coffee!
 
 
Pin It

Featured This Month

Page:

Sun in Aquarius

Sun in Aquarius

An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for Aquarius The ruler of Aquarius ... Read more

Amethyst

Amethyst

The Stone of Mastering Change Amethyst is primarily a stone of the mind; i... Read more

2021 - Year of the Ox

2021 - Year of the Ox

2021 is the Year of the Metal Ox. Starting on Feb. 12 and lasting to 2022 Luna... Read more

Imbolc and the Promise of Spring

Imbolc and the Promise of Spring

Winter’s medicine is about rest, recovery, and withdrawing inside ourselve... Read more

Stones, Crystals, and Metals Correspondences

Stones, Crystals, and Metals Correspondences

Stones, crystals, and metals correspondences for magick spells and rituals. ... Read more

Amethyst: A Stone for the Age of Aquarius

Amethyst: A Stone for the Age of Aquarius

Amethyst has long been thought of as a "stone of spirituality and contentmen... Read more

Rest & Cleansing Moon

Rest & Cleansing Moon

Otter – Quaking Aspen – Silver January 20 to February 18 The Rest and Clea... Read more

Imbolc

Imbolc

Imbolc Ritual Celebrated February 2 Imbolc is also known as Candlemas, Imbo... Read more

Birth Totem - Otter

Birth Totem - Otter

Birth Totem Otter Birth dates: January 20 - February 18 Birth Totem: Otter... Read more

Fox Medicine

Fox Medicine

Fox is a master at the art of camouflage. Like all members of the ... Read more

Imbolc Customs

Imbolc Customs

Imbolc, (pronounced im-bolk) or Candlemass, Imbolg, Bride's Day, Oimelc, and... Read more

The Rowan Tree - January 21 - February 17

The Rowan Tree - January 21 - February 17

The Fire Festival Of Brigantia Celtic Symbol : The Green Dragon Zodiac Deg... Read more

Imbolc Lore

Imbolc Lore

Imbolc (pronounced "IM-bulk", "IM mol'g" or "EM-bowl/k") is one of the Great... Read more

Annual Blessing Of the Sacred Hearth at Imbo…

Annual Blessing Of the Sacred Hearth at Imbolc

Blessed Brigid Blessed Brigid, Flame of Delight ,  May the fires of yo... Read more

Aquarius

Aquarius

AQUARIUS Jan 20 - Feb 18 Spirit: To spread philosophical thought Ego: Aes... Read more

Imbolc - The Feast of Brighid

Imbolc - The Feast of Brighid

Image source: The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card Deck.Get it here... Read more

The Crystal Wind Oracle

The Crystal Wind Oracle

The Crystal Wind Oracle Mobile APP Check Out The USER REVIEWS! Click Here! ... Read more

Aquarius Mythology

Aquarius Mythology

The Aquarius Myth The Aquarius myth follows the story of Ganymede, a young ... Read more

© 2008-2020 CrystalWind.ca. Site Creation by CreativeInceptions.com.
X

Right Click

No right click