Spring is doing her best to emerge from winter here in New England.

The red-winged blackbirds are back battling for food at the feeder. The fields are covered in patches of pale green. And, when I look closely, I can see buds bursting at the ends of tree branches lying against today’s gray sky.

Walking around the house, doing morning chores, I find myself humming the first verse of an old Simon & Garfunkel tune called, The 59^th Street Bridge Song. It’s been stuck in my head all week. The lyrics are:

Slow down, you move too fast
You’ve got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy

The mind is a pattern-making machine that searches the database of our past, looking for relevant information related to the present day. Over the last month, I’ve been studying nervous system regulation and learning how to slow down to keep myself calm and resourceful. My mind clearly got the message!

Because I tend toward a sympathetic, mobilizing stress response (as opposed to a dorsal, shutdown response), I’m inclined to jump into action when I feel threatened or triggered. Rather than launch into fight or flight, though, my go-to response is to fix. As a caregiver trained early on to save the day (or attempt to, anyway), I developed patterns of reaction to stress that involve handling the problem or perceived threat as quickly as possible.

In the last month, I’ve been making a point of healing my nervous system by doing the opposite of what I learned to do. I’m moving slowly through life—performing activities at a relaxed, measured pace, eating deliberately, engaging in one task at a time, and refraining from responding to anything that creates even the slightest amount of angst until I feel calm, clear, and centered.

Moving slowly has significantly improved my quality of life. Not only am I more relaxed and less reactive, I can also catch myself before getting triggered because I have the mental bandwidth to do so. So much of what triggers the sympathetic response has to do with the habit of scanning for danger, expecting trouble, and anticipating problems before they occur. The mind leads the charge and always finds something to react to.

Over the last few months, I’ve learned that I’m highly skilled at winding myself up with my thoughts. Moving slowly has given me the space to see how this works. Now, the moment I notice that my mind is up to its old tricks - making up stories - I tell myself, "Come back, sweetheart. Stay here with me. You're okay."

Self-reflection and self-awareness are powerful change agents.

If you feel triggered by something like a slow driver, having to wait in line, scary daily news, or the actions of loved ones and tend to feel instantly anxious, get angry, act impulsively, yell at inanimate objects (or people), or plot revenge in your head, you may want to heal your nervous system, too. Start with knowledge. One of the first books I read was Anchored by Deb Dana, and I found it to be a great resource.

Simon and Garfunkel were onto something long ago, and now, when I catch myself humming their tune, I smile at the reminder to savor life rather than battle it.

Join me this Wednesday (4/2) at 3pm ET (12 noon PT/8pm GMT) for a new Zoom Gathering – “Finding Peace in the Wisdom Years,” for a conversation about healing our nervous systems. If you’ve registered for a Zoom event in the past, you’re all set – you’ll get the link. If not, you can do so here.

Love,
Cheryl