This didn't happen for any single reason. It's much more than the annual drive by retailers to sweeten deals for higher profits. It's also much more than the changing dynamics of families - how they live, where they live, and what they think is important. 

If you've had a tug-o-war within your family about where to spend a holiday, you probably know there are many issues involved. Simply making the plans for such a holiday can be stressful. Then there's the arriving part - family members assembling and oftentimes taking on learned roles. 

Many of these learned roles are outdated. Some are no longer relevant for any situation. As you're reading this, you probably can identify with some of this. 

Outdated Social Customs

Our world is in a mega revamping - pretty much everything needs another look. One of the biggest things needing overhaul is how we live together on this increasingly small planet. Societal customs suited for previous generations oftentimes create problems in our modern world. 

Rather than sit back and complain about the traffic, holiday squabbles, and time constraints let's focus on reinventing the holidays. After all, it's up to us to put meaning into things. It's up to us to decide how we want to create celebrations and honor special days. There's no right or wrong way. But it is helpful to update our approach over time. Here are 7 tips to transform your experience. 

7 Tips to Bring More Joy to the Season

One is to take the "charge" off of the word holidays by remembering that things are really neutral. A holiday is a holiday. All other labels are assigned with bias.

Two is to remember that time is fluid and quantum, not linear. When we remember this - and stop complaining about lack of time or being somewhere with others too much time - more joy can be accessed. 

Three is to be present. This is perhaps the most important on the list. When we are present, we are less likely to compare our experiences with what they were like before or what we wanted them to be instead. Those comparisons cause suffering. 

Four is to be with yourself fully. This applies to being alone or with others. Be good company for yourself, doing what you know to do to remain balanced and light-hearted. When you are good company for yourself, and in the presence of others, the energy is uplifted. When you are good company for yourself and alone, you realize that you don't require the company of others to feel joy. 

Five is to focus less on doing, giving and getting. Put your focus on being immersed in the joy of the moment. You could be meditating on your own, or talking a walk, and feel joy. You could be interacting with others and feel a fullness within your heart. The doing, giving and getting at that point become secondary. That's the key. 

Six is to let go of judgement. Start with yourself. You block your own joy with judgment. This is a learned response. The judgment is not you. When you judge others, too, that is a learned response that blocks your ability to be open and able to connect with others in a heart-centered way. 

Seven is to strive for balance in all things. That includes your inner "to do" list of what you think you need to complete before end-year. Punitive lists will cause you pain. They can backfire, too. Your punitive inner dialogue could cause an inner rebellion - you then may have little or no motivation to tackle projects. Whatever is on your "to do" list then can seem like a formidable task. Take your items one at a time, when you intuitively sense they are appropriate. Make allowances for all things, including your time and energy. You are not a workhorse being timed to produce and arrive at an imaginary completion gate by end-year. 

Peace is Accessible

Honor the divine being you are. Trust in divine timing and orchestration, and the beauty of not doing. Notice the peace that arises. Peace that you can bring into the world around you.