This article was posted by CrystalWind.ca.
To Be Dependent Is Human
Written by Nimue Brown
I write a lot about community because I think too much solitary individualism has harmed us all. There are too many things that cannot be done as an individual, and too many things that are really hard to do alone.
There are also a lot of things that we do collectively and then try to ignore. This is especially true around harm we’re causing – climate change is a collective problem and yet we focus obsessively on individual solutions.
How dependent should we be on each other? At what point does dependence become unhealthy? Do we prioritise independence too much? How does ableism inform all of this? At the moment I have more questions than answers. What bothers me is the way in which dependence is pathologised, and treated as a problem to solve. Too needy, too clingy, codependent, enmeshed… at what point is it reasonable to be worried about how involved people are with each other?
I think the simple answer to this, is when it becomes controlling. When a person feels justified in controlling another person so that they feel secure, or needed or whatever it is they get out of it. If dependence turns into wanting to make people do things, a line needs to be drawn. There’s a great deal of needing people that is possible without having to take over their lives.
I’ve never been a very independent person. I’ve never lived on my own and I never want to do that. I would always choose to live communally. I’m very relationship oriented and by that I don’t just mean romance. I’ve tried living off-grid, and it’s exhausting. I don’t want to independently produce all my own food, for the same reasons. I want to live in a community. I want to share resources. I want to give, and borrow and lend and be part of an ecosystem.
My whole state of being in the world is people centred. I’ve only ever been interested in ritual as a community activity. Shared music spaces have always been really important to me. I’m in conversations about communal crafting. I’m happiest as a writer when I’m co-creating. I move towards community projects whenever I have the chance. Reading books is the only thing I’m really invested in doing on my own. Even that isn’t truly solitary, it’s an interaction with the author.
Unless you really are off grid, in a yurt of your own making, growing your own food from your saved seeds and wearing clothes spun from your own sheep, then your life is full of interactions. Even if you live alone, someone made your shelter, your food, your clothes. Someone touched your possessions before you did. People got sick and died so that you could have cheap things. Landscapes were impacted by your diet. We’re in constant relationship, and the idea of independence is a fantasy that insulates us from knowing what kind of impact we have.
We’re all participating in exploitation, in degradation of environments and in the destructive nonsense of capitalism. Individualism is just a way of ignoring this. We are all held by countless relationships, most of which are invisible to us. I’d rather be dependent on my relationships with my friends than, for example, getting my emotional viability by buying new clothes on a daily basis.
© 2022 crystalwind.ca. All rights reserved.
Join the Conversation Now! Comment Below!
Spirit Animal Totem Of The Day!
Crystal Of The Day!
Latest Articles
The Crystal Wind Oracle
Myth & Magic Card Deck!
Details Here!
NEW Expanded
Printed & Boxed!
Now with 58 cards!
CrystalWind.ca is free to use because of
donations from people like you.
Donate Now »
Unlock Your Light: Join Lightworkers Worldwide on CrystalWind.ca!
Follow Us!
Who is Online Now
We have 40553 guests and no members online
Featured This Month
Green Aventurine
The Emotional Balancer Stone Green Aventurine is perhaps the best balancing... Read more
Eudialyte: Your Aries Power Stone Revealed!
Eudialyte Birthstone: Aries Planet: Mars Element: Fire Chakra: Heart Eud... Read more
Dandelion: The Surprising Power of this Medi…
Reminds you of the abundance life holds. Gender: Masculine Planet: Jupiter E... Read more
Birth Totem Falcon: Are You a Natural Leader…
Birth Totem Falcon Birth dates: March 21 – April 19 Birth Totem is: Falcon... Read more
Budding Trees Moon: Medicine Wheel Insights!
Red Hawk - Fire Opal - Dandelion - Yellow March 21 – April 19 The Budding Tr... Read more
Sun in Aries: Unleash Your Power!
Aries March 21 through April 20 An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for A... Read more
Bright Beltane Blessings!
The wheel turns to Beltane, also known as Mayday, marking the beginning of S... Read more
The Time of No Time: Beltane!
Around the medicine wheel of life we go, from season to season (solstice to ... Read more
The Crystal Wind Oracle Card Deck
The Crystal Wind Oracle™ The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card D... Read more
Aries Mythology: Discover the Secrets
The Mythology of Aries First things first, when referring to the mythology ... Read more