Our bodies hold cellular memories. They come up when you don’t even expect to be visited.

I was at Goodwill a few days ago buying winter clothes for the kiddos when out of the blues a gush of sadness took over. It came out of nowhere… but did it? A woman nearby came up to me with the most kind and gentle concern asking if I was okay.

“I think so. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She held my hand. We hugged tightly. I thanked her, quickly paid, and left the store. I sat in my car letting the release come and go so I could drive home.

Then it hit me. I knew why. It’s almost October, and even though I am not consciously aware of the month, my muscle memory is. More things have happened to me in the month of October than any other time in my life. I was raped in October. I’ve moved, conceived, visited amazing places, said goodbye to my father, gotten married, ended toxic relationships, and so much more. The list is extensive. It’s not like I have purposely picked the month of October for the major changes in my life. I don’t even think about it until I wake up close to the beginning of the month and experience the largest release moving through me.

It is also the beginning of cold weather here in Western North Carolina Mountains. I have had the unfortunate experiences during winter months here. And when I see those leaves start to change, boy do I feel the seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.). My body experiences PTSD in a way that it’s inconceivable to me.

It’s also a month I happen to pick to move inward, to step away from the chit chat of social media. It’s a time to be creative and allow those things to make new cycles of beautiful experiences for the future. I am excited for all that is evolving creatively.

I am reminded that what often separates us is man made. We create the drama, the challenges, and everything else. I am responsible for my healing, my clearing, and my growing. Spirit isn’t that complicated. My body somehow has a reset button and it reads “October” on it. When I allow for what is, I return to what I have always been. And that is a soul having a very authentic human experience.

I love you all. See you back in a month.

Millie

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