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An Empath`s Guide To Living In The World

empath

Living in this heavily populated world, Empaths are faced with many energetic challenges. If it is not having others dump their negative energies on them, they are being drained of their vital energy. Simply being out in public places can be enough to suck their life-force dry, or just by being in the presence of a certain family member can be the reason behind a weeks worth of energy and emotional clearing.

Learning to set energetic boundaries is, of course, a given for those of a Sensitive nature and for many Empaths they are hardwired into automatically doing this. However, sometimes life just gets in the way and we may need gentle reminders as to what we could be doing to protect ourselves and thus make life more enjoyable. Then there are the newly learned Empaths, who have only just discovered of their birthright and are in search of as much information as they can get feast their eyes upon, to help them deal with the rigours of life.

To Block or Not to Block That is The Question

For Empaths wanting to block out all external emotions and energies would, no doubt, be a priority. However, it is not always that cut and dry. For one thing, she might have already tried every energy-blocking technique known to man, without any success. And then there is the question of why is it Empaths feel and take on what they do, emotionally, is it not for a purpose? In taking on these negative energies are they not helping rid the world of them? The answer to that question is debatable and it may well be that there is no answer, or can only be answered by opinions. However, Empaths need to learn how to protect themselves from wayward energies so that they can continue to function in everyday life.

Out and About

If you are one who finds being in public areas, such as shopping malls and cinemas, unbearable, to the point of avoiding them at all costs, there are some techniques you could try that may help when you venture into people-packed-places.

When an Empath is alone in people-congested areas they can soak up the, normally, negatively charged energies no sooner than having stepped over the building’s threshold. Being with another person (of whom you are energetically compatible) will act as a buffer and help diffuse the energies and lessen the incoming impact. It will also serve as a pleasant distraction, to take your mind off what you are feeling. Chances are, after the shopping trip or outing, you may still feel drained, but your experience will have been a much more pleasant one. If taking a friend or family member is not possible, finding a grounding technique that works for you and using it before going out is essential. Below are some you could try:

Power Poses

A power pose is generally anything that fully opens the body and can be as simple as opening up one’s arms wide (so your body is in the shape of a cross) and taking long slow breaths through the nose. Holding a gentle smile is further empowering. If you are familiar with yoga, a Starfish pose (standing with wide legs and arms) is ideal, as is a Warrior pose with open arms. Holding the power pose for a couple of minutes prior to leaving home or entering an energy-hostile environment will serve in uplifting and expanding one’s energy field. This is opposed to how an Empath would normally go out into the world, wanting to be small and invisible.

Visualisations

These can be anything from visualising roots coming from your feet grounding you to the earth, to mentally building a halo of white light around your body and expanding it with your breath. Take a couple of minutes to quieten the mind before attempting.

Affirmations

Positive mini-declarations repeated in the mind can serve in being uplifting, empowering and protective. Statements such as: I can do it, I will do it, can instantly and positively change your mindset and thus make one better equipped to handle incoming energies. Find one that works for you, suitable for the time and place.

Music Therapy

Taking your I-pod and earphones can be a huge help when out and about. Listening to music you love creates an inner-expansion, uplifts and creates a ‘bliss bubble’ around you. It can enable you to glide through public-places seemingly unaffected. However, it is best to get into the ‘music zone’ before entering a peopled place.

Breath-work

Please see this post: Breath-work-yoga, which includes various breathing techniques.

There are many other grounding and mind quietening methods available, such as meditation, that require a committed, daily practise to reap the full benefits.  The above methods are what can be done in a hurry or simply when one is feeling out of sorts. You may need to play around with different techniques to find that which works for you. For example, there is no point visualising yourself engulfed in a halo of white light if you do not believe it really works.

Bedtime

If you are one who doesn’t like sleep-snuggling or having to sleep close to your partner in bed, no matter how much you love them, you are not alone. Having sleeping-space is essential for the Empath.  Most Empaths will loathe having anyone get in their ‘energy-space’, day or night, but as sleep-time is crucial for recharging, it is even more important that they are allowed it.

If you share a bed, and it is not possible for you to have your own bedroom, opt for the largest sized bed available, if space permits. If you still struggle sleeping near your partner or wake-up feeling drained, use one of the above grounding techniques and adapt them to bedtime mode.

Eating

Know your food and how it affects you. Listen to what your body is telling you as to what is and isn’t right for you. If, for example, you have a nagging feeling that dairy is causing you to have an allergic reaction, you could try the 30 day exclusion challenge, to see if it is. This involves abstaining from all dairy (or whatever you suspect does not agree with you. Be it wheat, sugar, alcohol or meat) for 30 days then, after that time, gradually introducing it back in to your diet. If you have a big reaction to it, you know that you are intolerant, allergic or energetically incompatible and probably best removing it from your diet.

Also, it is wise to take note how your food is prepared. Food prepared in an angry or unhappy environment will carry that energy and thus show up within you. Most Empaths will benefit from having mainly homemade food, so they know exactly what energy goes into their meals.

Socialising and Stimulants

Unfortunately, any kind of stimulant (alcohol, drugs etc) will only serve in weakening the Empath (as they do any other human). Under the influence, it may feel like external energies are being blocked out but unfortunately this is not the case. They still seep in and still need to be dealt with. When in company, other people’s emotions may show up in the Empath as aggression or an overly dominant ego, on the evening of consumption or as a physical and emotional hangover from hell, the day after.

If you don’t like the idea of giving up your favourite tipple or social life, try using grounding techniques prior to an evening out and drink lots of water throughout the evening, as it has a cleansing effect.

Friends 

The longer the Empath has known a friend, the more impact the friend can have on their energy. And, as you would imagine, this could be either a good or bad thing, depending on the relationship. Knowing how to navigate your friendships can serve in offering healthier and happier relationships.

Have you noticed that friends may act differently depending on who they are with? For example: you may have two very good friends, whom, when you spend one-to-one time alone with there is no ill effect. However, put those two friends together and the energy dynamic shifts in such a way, that one can feel drained, angered or even bullied in their collective presence. If this has been a friendship, or even family, experience of yours it maybe advisable to see certain friends on a one-to-one basis.

Friends’ energy and how it affects those of a Sensitive nature will change along with their age and life circumstances. If down or depressed, a friend can unintentionally take the Empath down with them. In theses cases one has to learn to emotionally unplug. One can still listen and be there, but in a detached way.

Also, be very wary of an unwanted energy drain. We all know people who drain energy, otherwise known as the ‘Energy Vampires’, but when a friend, who isn’t normally a drainer, is experiencing a tough time, their energy-sucking tentacles may seek out an instant uplift, from anywhere they can get it. To avoid being a friend’s ‘energy replacement meal’, watch for any drain and where it is coming from. It will normally be from four, of the seven, main energy centres (chakras): sacral (below belly), solar plexus (mid belly), heart (heart area) or throat (front of throat) and it can be felt by a pull or ache in that area. Wherever you feel it, cover that area immediately with your hands or arms. It is not by chance that we cross our arms over our stomach or chest in social situations; we are subconsciously stopping an energy-drain.

Empaths tend to be very faithful to their friends and keep them in their life for the long-haul. For this reason, it is a good idea to choose friends wisely.

Work 

For the Empath finding their calling or vocation can be a challenge of epic proportions. As living a lie, through having to pretend they like doing a job, which they don’t, or sell a product they do not believe in, is nothing short of torture for them. Also, as eighty percent of the workforce does not enjoy their work, this is not conducive to an energy-efficient or happy working environment (another obstacle for the Empath).

If we listen, our Internal Guidance System will continuously present us with vocational options, perhaps as interests or passions. If searching for your dream job, or just a new direction in life, here are some questions that may ignite the answer:

What are your passions?

What do you love to do?

What do you believe in?

What would you wake up excited to do each day?

What can you not live without doing?

What engages you?

What interest keeps coming back to you?

If you could change the world for the better, how would you do it?

Roadblocks

Roadblocks are what stop you going down your desired or chosen route in life. They can be seen through sickness, redundancy, depression, loss of money and social status or non-starting projects. They can unexpectedly pop up out of nowhere, take you off your current journey and bring your life to a standstill or send you off in a new direction.

When encountering roadblocks it may seem like they are purely an unfair punishment, but this comes down to our perspective of them. They are normally presented as a detour, a way to make changes to our life’s journey when we are refusing to listen to our Internal Guidance Systems. This detour may mean we are taken on a long and winding scenic-route, which also happens to be an uncomfortable, seemingly never-ending, bumpy road. But again, this is down to our perspective. We have a choice, we can get wrapped up in the inconvenience and discomfort of the long ‘scenic-route’, focusing only on that, or we can concentrate on the ever-changing landscape as it passes by, be grateful for being given the chance to slow down and take time out to reflect. We can get so caught up in arriving at our destination that we miss most of the journey.

Everything presented to us in life is a gift and is something we can learn from, good or bad, if only we allow ourselves to see it.

Exercise

Exercise is essential to an Empath’s wellbeing. It works not only the physical but energetic bodies and can help clear stagnant or negative energy. Sadly, we live in a society that promotes a no pain no gain philosophy towards exercise and a focus on sculpting the muscles, rather than healing the body and mind. Exercise should be fun and liberating, not torturous or painful (unless you enjoy that ;)).

There are so many ways to exercise and it doesn’t have to be costly or complicated. It can be as simple as turning on some funky music and shaking your hips around the kitchen. Dancing when no one is watching is unbelievably uplifting and you get to make your own moves with the beat of the music.

Running or walking in nature, freestyle dance, where there are no rules, or one of the many forms of yoga, are probably some of the best forms of exercise for the Empath. These can be done alone or at home and there is no need for a gym membership. Swimming in the sea or a lake would also be great, if you’re fortunate enough to have one nearby.

A gym-class is not always the best environment for an Empath, especially if it has a very ego-driven or body-conscious atmosphere and adorned by lots of mirrors. There are some who can pick up negative energies from mirrors. If there have been many insecure, or body conscious, people gazing into gym mirrors, an Empath may feel that residual energy (this can also be the case in clothes stores) and take it on as their own.

Relationships 

For the Empath, relationships can prove to be a complicated area of life, but also very rewarding when one has found a compatible mate (who very likely won’t be an Empath).

Empaths can be greatly misunderstood and seem aloof and disconnected to a new or prospective partner and it may take a while for their detachment and need for time alone, to be not taken personally by their partner.

When one is romantically connected to another, it can make the energetic connection complicated. Reading someone, who holds no emotional ties, normally comes quite easily for the Empath, but when there is a strong emotional bind, it can distort one’s ability to read energies clearly, which can in turn lead to confusion and frustration, especially in the early, building, days of a relationship and even further down the road. Not everyone is as inclined to be as honest as an Empath; especially if they have grown up or worked in an environment that lying is ‘quietly’ seen as acceptable (it is surprising how often this is the case). This can be a huge bugbear for the Empath because they can feel the energy of a lie, but not always what the lie is. In some cases this can lead to paranoia, which in turn can lead to ungrounded accusations and arguments.

A whole book could be dedicated to the highs and lows of the relationships of Empaths’ and how to handle each and every situation. But in brief, it’s safe to say that the best way to be, in any relationship, is honest (unless the truth will cause unnecessary pain) and never be afraid to show your True-Self.

It’s always good to remember that every relationship, no matter how brief, in life can offer a valuable lesson. Even toxic relationships, which are filled with strife and arguments, can show us areas of our life that need to be worked on or improved.

Comfort Zone 

Allowing yourself to step out of your comfort zone, on a daily basis, allows for growth in all areas of your life.  It enables you to face your fears and in facing fears you better learn to deal with, what we consider to be, negative emotions. When we stay comfortable, we stay small and don’t expand.

We can step out of our comfort zone by going further than we would like during exercise, by making a phone-call we’ve been putting off for months, telling someone you love them or anything that makes you squirm or feel uncomfortable at the thought of doing.

Summary 

As we are all here on our own journeys, with learning experiences unique to us, not all the tips and advice offered here will be helpful. As an Empath, you may have come into life purely to gain experience of feeling others emotions. And because of this, it is important to remember that just because one Sensitive seems to have learnt how to deal with the external energies and you haven’t, even after trying every technique in the book and attending every self-help seminar, doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or even being punished. It may simply mean you have not yet achieved a certain lesson from a certain experience. It could also be that you are capable of enduring more hardships in life and your mountains are higher and harder to climb than most and in turn, you will be learning more.

Please feel free to leave any tips or advice, in comments, on techniques you may have found helpful for living in the world.


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