“What if the missing piece to true adulthood is the death of our childish self—right before the eyes of elders?” ~AndEl

Becoming Adults in a Patho-Adolescent Culture

In my recent studies, I came across the work of Bill Plotkin, a depth psychologist, wilderness guide, and author who has devoted his life to exploring human development in relationship with the Earth. One of his central ideas is that modern society suffers from what he calls a “patho-adolescent culture.”

Plotkin suggests that our entire modern society is structured around psychological adolescence—driven by consumption, competition, image, power, and short-term gain—without having undergone the deep initiations that lead to true adulthood and elderhood. For this reason, I reflect on the importance of rites of passage and how modern culture largely lacks such transformative thresholds. 

In many Indigenous traditions around the world, adolescents undergo initiatory experiences that challenge them to step consciously into adulthood with meaning and responsibility. These rites are not merely symbolic celebrations; they are structured encounters with fear, limitation, and even mortality—designed to help the young person shed childish identity and awaken inner strength.

The Power of Traditional Rites

One well-known example of a rite of passage comes from Pentecost Island in the South Pacific, famous for being a precursor to today's bungee jumping extreme sport. In the process, the adolescent boys jump from a wooden tower—some are over 30 meters tall—with two vines tied to their ankles, falling until their heads come only a couple of inches from the ground. 

At a superficial level, this could seem entertaining and an opportunity for a boy to show his valor. But, at a deeper level, the boy is facing the possibility of death straight in the eyes which is a key aspect of a rite of passage. The naive or irresponsible aspect of the young one has to 'die' to create space for growth. 

This ritual is also meant to ensure a good yam harvest as the moment itself, and the soil over which the young ones land, becomes infused with 'masculinity’. 

“When a boy is ready to become a man, he lands in the presence of his elders. His mother holds a favorite childhood item, for example, a piece of cloth. After completing the dive, the item is thrown away, demonstrating that the boy has become a man.”—Wikipedia

From this example, we can see two essential elements: the presence of elders who safeguard the continuity of the culture, and the necessity for young people to find their own inner strength for the sake of the whole community. 

Modern Shadows of Initiation

In today's modern world, traces of rites of passage still exist—for example, high school graduation ceremonies or milestone birthday celebrations that symbolically mark the transition into adulthood. Yet many of these moments have become largely social or ceremonial events, often without a deeper emphasis on inner transformation, responsibility, or purpose.

In many traditional societies with authentic rites of passage, there is no prolonged stage of adolescence. There is a relatively direct transition from childhood into adulthood. In contrast, in our technocratic world, many individuals reach biological adulthood without emotional, psychological, or spiritual maturity.

Plotkin argues that when a culture lacks genuine initiation and elder guidance, we end up with “adult bodies” carrying adolescent consciousness. And when such individuals rise to positions of power, decisions may be driven by insecurity, greed, or the need for domination rather than wisdom, long-term vision, and care for the Earth.

As I reflect on this, I cannot help but see how relevant this insight is to the state of our world today.

Perhaps part of our collective work—especially those of us walking a path of consciousness—is to reclaim meaningful rites of passage. I'm a mentor. I'm mature. To grow beyond personal ambition into service. To become the kind of adults and elders who can guide future generations with integrity and depth.

This is not about romanticizing Indigenous cultures or criticizing modern life. It is about recognizing what is missing—and courageously stepping into the work of becoming truly initiated human beings.

Looking back on your life, was there a moment or experience that truly initiated you into a deeper level of maturity or responsibility? Any other thoughts?

With love,

Marcela Lobos

What threshold moment changed everything for you?

Reflections on initiation, maturity, and the call to elderhood in a fractured world.

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